Teen Wiccans: What to Do When Your Parents Won’t Let You Be Wiccan

Greetings, Wiccan Teens!

Greetings, young seekers. I take it you’re here because you’re interested in Wicca, but you’re pretty sure your parents (or guardians) won’t have it under their roof. This can be very disheartening, when they’re unable to see what a beautiful, uplifting, and spiritually fulfilling religion Wicca is.

Maybe they don’t know much about Wicca and would be unwilling to learn. Maybe Wicca is against their own belief system. Whatever the case, let me just say—I feel for you. That sucks.

The teen years are a time for self-exploration and self-expression. Part of that is exploring and expressing one’s spiritual beliefs. You might not even end up Wiccan for more than a few months or years—that doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from it, or something about yourself in the process.

But, as the epic song says, ”You can’t always get what you want.” If your parents (or guardians—be they grandparents, older siblings, aunts and uncles, even foster parents) are against you learning about or practicing Wicca, here’s what you should do.

A large part of Wicca is personal growth. Wiccan-specific resources aren't the only resources that help you do that.
A large part of Wicca is personal growth. Wiccan-specific resources aren't the only resources that help you do that. | Source

Be Respectful of Your Parents' Feelings

You might want to hide books, or go out for rituals in private places where you can’t be found, or hide tools in crawl spaces. You might want to sneak out to Pagan shops or local festivals without letting your parents know. I can’t over-stress how bad of an idea this is.

For one thing, when you sneak around you blow all trust. It doesn’t make you look good, and it sure doesn't make Wicca look any better. After all, if they think Wicca encourages sneaking and disobedience, they’re only going to hate it even more.

The fact is, Wicca does not encourage sneaking and disobedience—our religion encourages acting responsibly, respecting other people’s rights and beliefs, even when you don’t get what you want. You should take this opportunity to do the most Wiccan thing possible: respect your parents. Respect their home, their beliefs, their authority, and their rules. That’s the responsible thing.

What You Can (Ethically) Do:

Sure, it can be interesting in learning about magic, about energy, about full-blown rituals and ritual tools—but those things are just part of Wicca. Most of what being a Wiccan is involves living your day-to-day life spiritually.

Just because your parents won't let you have the flashy tools, or because you can't read 'spell books' at all, does not mean you're at a disadvantage! There are many, many things you can do that are highly beneficial to your spiritual growth. These are things that will serve you well on your path in life. These are things that any new Wiccan should do.

These things may not be as overtly 'Wiccan', but they are no less Wiccan, no less, important, and no less fulfilling if you give them a chance. When you do finally 'pick up the broomstick' (as we say), any of these activities will have you better prepared than any Wicca book or tool ever could.

What's more, your parents probably won't mind most of these. You can be on the path to personal spiritual development without parents even realizing it.

Recommended Reading

The Power of Myth
The Power of Myth

A book doesn't have to have 'Wicca' in the title to be relevant to Wicca. This book features an excellent interview with mythologist Joseph Campbell, who explains the meaning behind many myths, how they're related, and how they're relevant in our lives today. As a young Pagan, this information blew my mind when I first came across it! It helped me formulate my spiritual beliefs more than a lot of so-called 'Wicca 101' books with spells and potions. I now recommend this to all my students and any seekers on the Pagan path.


Any Learning is Good in Wicca

Read a lot. Wicca is a religion that values learning and knowledge. There are a lot of books you can read to help you that don’t mention the word “Wicca” at all. Read psychology books and sociology books to learn about human nature, the human mind, and human cultures. Read about mythology—learn about the Old Gods that Wiccans worship today. Read history books and learn about different Pagans and tribal cultures. Read about health and wellness. Read about gardening—learn about herbs, both how to grow them and how to use them. Read about other religions—including your parent’s religion. Get to know it better.

Journal. Nothing can help you learn more about yourself and how you are growing/evolving than keeping a journal; and it doesn't have to have a pentagram engraved on it to be religiously significant. Over time, journaling can help you see where your growth is stagnant, and where you keep making the same mistakes over and over. A journal can help you keep your thoughts organized when it comes to the world and your experiences in it.

You can also record important information as you study—for example, you might write down the name of a myth you found particularly striking, or you may have read a gardening book that teaches you how to grow your own sage in a flower pot. That information may come in handy for you when you move out on your own and begin to practice more formally.

Watch Documentaries

Yes, Wiccans pray too!
Yes, Wiccans pray too! | Source

Wicca Is a Religion

Pray. Stripped down to its bare essence, Wicca is a religion. You don’t need the spells, you don’t need the tools or even the circles—you could be Wiccan alone on a deserted island after a shipwreck with no supplies at all if you had to. Tools don’t make a Wiccan; they are just tools. A relationship with deity is more to the point.

Respect your parents' religious beliefs, respect their God if they have one, go to church or Bible studies if they request it. But no one can tell you who to pray to in your own heart.

Attune. A big part of Wicca is attuning yourself to the natural world. That’s not even something you need Wiccan 101 books to do. That’s something that’s largely driven by instinct. It can start as simply as sitting outside for a little while every day and noticing the natural things around you—the slant of the shadow at that time of day and year, the color of the leaves on the tree, the types of birds flying around. Notice the weather—the feel of the air on your skin, the sun on your face. Start noticing the cycles of the moon at night, and the lengthening or shortening days after the equinoxes and solstices pass.

You might find yourself getting the urge to get more into nature—plant a garden, even if it’s just a small one. Go camping. Take hikes. Swim in lakes and oceans.

This may lead you to think about what to put into your body—Doritos and Pepsi vs. an apple and a glass of filtered water. You may start feeling inclined to get off the computer and video games and out into the fresh air more often, to use your body. This inner longing to let go of the hold that many of our modern conveniences have on you in favor of more natural ways can really be beneficial to your health, and you may notice you start feeling a lot better. This is good—Wicca is about finding balance of mind, spirit, and body. Don’t neglect your body, it’s your temple.

More Great Hobbies for Teens Who Want to Be Wiccan

Anything artistic/creative
Studying history, cultures, religion
Working with animals
Anything in nature: camping, hiking, gardening, etc.
Studying sciences like botany, gemology, physics, astronomy, etc.
Volunteering and helping others
Physical activities: dance, yoga, martial arts, etc.
Grow from within. A Wiccan foundation is meditation—might as well start now.
Grow from within. A Wiccan foundation is meditation—might as well start now. | Source

Great Guided Meditations for Wiccan Teens

Indigo Teen Dreams: Guided Relaxation Techniques Designed to Decrease Stress, Anger and Anxiety while Increasing Self-esteem and
Indigo Teen Dreams: Guided Relaxation Techniques Designed to Decrease Stress, Anger and Anxiety while Increasing Self-esteem and

When my daughter was a teen, being raised in a Wiccan household, she was always searching for great resources aimed at kids her age. She got her hands on this guided meditation CD and it became part of her daily meditation regime for a while. It was so good, I would even meditate with her sometimes. If you've never meditated before, this recording (CD or digital download) will walk you through it very simply.


Keep Working on You

Meditate. Meditation is great for so many things—relieving stress, finding inner peace, improved memory, and mental discipline. Wicca is a religion that actively encourages people to make meditation a part of their lives. Start taking five minutes per day just to sit quietly and let yourself be aware of your own breath. If you can do that for just 5 to 15 minutes each day, you will be more than ready to jump into more serious and advanced rituals in Wicca when you’re ready for more formal practice.

Wait. As hard as waiting can be, consider this time your own personal test from the Gods—testing your patience, testing your dedication, testing your ability to respect other people’s beliefs, testing your understanding that ethical behavior is important to your own development—development as a Wiccan, and as a human being. These are going to be lessons that will benefit you in the future, so even though it’s hard, take that opportunity and use it. Time passes, and things are always changing. Learn to live in the now, focus on making the best of that, and one day you’ll find yourself living the life you want, your own way.

Merry part for now, and I’m sure if Wicca is meant to be your path, we’ll merry meet again.

Wiccan Poll:

Are your parents giving you a hard time about Wicca?

  • Yes, it's very upsetting.
  • Kind of, it's annoying but nothing I can't handle.
  • Not really, they're taking it better than I expected.
  • No, they're being respectful of my feelings and beliefs.
  • I haven't told them yet.
See results without voting

© 2013 Mackenzie Sage Wright

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Comments 25 comments

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Great advice Wiccan, I remember buying all my own books when I was a teen, my whole bookcase was full of psychic stuff, and of course pagan or wiccan, my mum didn't mind but she was a bit wary of it, but the joke was that she was the witch! lol! long story!

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 3 years ago Author

LOL that's really interesting Nell Rose; my parents were very wary of Witchcraft, yet my grandparents and their siblings all came from Italy in the late 1800s and they all practiced exactly what we call Witchcraft today. So basically, I could follow along with the family folk magic and that was okay-- just don't call it Witchcraft!

Julianna Holloway 2 years ago

This helped me a lot, for the past few weeks I've been searching what religion I should be, and I'm 12-years-old, so there's many options. My family are all Christian or witnesses and I learned about Mother Nature and I've believed in her since and I thought there wasn't a religion that would involve her, and yet here it is! Thanks again, I learned a lot from this and hopefully I'll dedicate myself to being Wiccan. Blessed be.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago Author

Glad you found it useful, Julianna. Good luck with your search and finding your true path.

Kaylee 2 years ago

Well here is the back when my mom was a teen she believed in all things wicca, and most she still dose. most of my family is excepting, but some are not as open. i haven't said any thing yet but i just dont know how to go about things... People have always said i have a unusual way of looking at things. Some times i feel like its an insult. like im the only on who could ever be open to thinking freely. Religion blinds people to what they could be and most makes some resistant to change and exception. i don't want to be like that... And some times i just dont know where i would be welcomed when i question things i probably shouldn't. Its just the way i am. i don't know if anyone out there can tell just how much you can know by siting and watching... In band they actually refer to someone siting quietly in the back of the room as being a kaylee, and i dont like that. I believe that everyone believes in some thing... if they can why cant i?

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago Author

Hi Kaylee, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I think it is important to embrace and follow what you believe, whether it's a religion (like Christianity, or Wicca), or whether it's just 'marching to the beat of your own drum.' You are right, that it's important to use them as tools to open ourselves and evolve rather than to get so buried by them that we are blinded and closed off. There is nothing wrong with being an observer, it's actually a quality I admire. Observers are living in the moment, they notice things others don't know. There's nothing wrong with having a unique perspective. Bright blessings, friend.

Kaylee 2 years ago


WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago Author

You're welcome!

BlueJay 2 years ago

Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate the tips for if your parents aren't... open to the idea of their child not being the perfect little Christian. It just feels a bit too much like being told that another door is slamming in my face just because I'm too young to appreciate anything, even though I know that's not how it's meant to look. Sound. Read? One of those things. Anyway. Thanks for at least something I can do for the 2ish years until I'm legally allowed to decide for myself.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago Author

I understand hon, I really do. But everything listed here is more of what being Wiccan is actually about than any spell you can cast or any flashy tools you can lay out on an altar. The question comes down to these:

- Do you want to be Wiccan, or do you want to look Wiccan?

- Do you want a spiritual path? Or do you want to cast spells and brandish tools?

If you want to be Wiccan, if you want a spiritual path, the things listed here are actually more important than the tools and the spells. They are more what life-long Wiccans do and live in their everyday lives between monthly rituals and sabbats. These are what's at the heart of Wicca, the kind of things I had my own daughter doing, even though she was being raised a Wiccan.

If I had to choose between spells and tools and all outward signs of Wicca, and the things I listed here, I'd go with the things I listed here. So I'm not just trying to pacify teens who don't have understanding parents... I'm trying to show you that Wicca is a real spiritual path, and there's a lot more to being Wiccan than just laying tools on an altar and casting spells. It is a lifestyle, and it is a lifestyle of learning, attuning, being ethical and fostering a spiritual relationship with your Gods.

If that's not enough for you, then maybe you want to re-think what you think Wicca is. I understand how hard it is when your parents don't allow you the freedom to explore and try things for yourself, but really the things listed here are among the most important things any Wiccan can be doing, so you're not being as short-changed as you thought.

BlueJay 2 years ago

I get that. Or, I want to. I guess it just rubs me the wrong way that even doing this stuff, they praise me for it cause it's "healthy physical activity" and away from the computer, but if I mentioned that "Hey I'm actually doing this because, you remember that conversation we had where you yelled at me a lot? Yeah, I'm still doing that" then I would most likely be banned from the same thing I'm being praised for. I guess I'm lucky though, I only have two years to wait.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago Author

Hi hon; I'm so sorry about the problems you're having at home. I remember how hard it is being a teen, I try to remember this with my own kids and to keep an open mind with them.

It's interesting you call yourself blue jay; blue jays symbolize having a connection between the divine and the mundane, the Earth and the heavens, keeping them in balance. I'm thinking that this says a lot about you, and how you're able to put your practices into your everyday life-- even if you can't call it what it really is, you're still using it.

Moon&Sun 23 months ago

I'd like to thank you for writing this article. It is very uplifting and makes me feel better about my parents veiw of wicca. Recently I've been feeling like the goddess is urging me to tell my parents about what I belive, so I did. It went as badly as I imagined it would. My mom started lecturing me and looking at me with utter disgust. I was absolutely horrified and extremely hurt. She started bashing wicca and at this point I was on the verge of tears, it was even worse because I thought she would be understanding. It got to the point that I had to leave the room a bit and go outside. When I came back in, I convinced my mom that I was 'only kidding', even though the words tasted bitter on my tounge. I'm scared that if I tell my mom the truth, she'll never take me seriously again. I'm surprised she hasn't taken me to counseling yet, and she was about five seconds away from driving me to the nearest Christian church, to make me 'repent for my sins' when I told her I wanted to be Wiccan. I know, in my heart, that the god and goddess wouldn't want me to live a lie, and while I fully intend to take the advice offered in this column, I was wondering if you can offer any advice on this situation. Mind you, I am only fourteen, and have been officially practicing Wicca for a year, but I have been drawn to this path since I was five years old, and only recently have I learned of its name. Oh, and I haven't told my dad of my beliefs yet, but I have mentioned wicca and the first words that came out of his mouth were, "That stupid cult? I don't want you to be asociated with it."

Moon&Sun 23 months ago

Oh, and I truly don't mean to sound ungrateful, my parents are wonderful people. My only issue is that they are forcing me to make confirmation, even though I don't belive in the Christian beliefs, and this just rubbed me the wrong way, so to speak.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 22 months ago Author

Hi Moon & Sun, I am sure your parents are wonderful parents. They are doing what they think is best for you... but even the best of parents can be mistaken about something. They don't understand what Wicca is. That's not a crime-- it just is going to make it a bit hard for you. I am glad you found some help in this article. Bright blessings on your path, sweetie.

BlueJay 22 months ago

Three months later... Sorry about that, but I was on my phone when I read your last response and for some reason it didn't want to let me do a comment that day. But I realized this evening, I didn't say thank you. So thank you, a lot, for what you said about my name. I hadn't known that before, and I think it helped me to learn it. So thanks.

kimbrly 20 months ago

My parant are aget itcand that Mack me go to cuch

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 20 months ago Author

Hi Kimbrly; nothing wrong with going to church. I hope you can find some useful ideas in this article to help channel your interests.

Pastel Rose 14 months ago

My parent will find out some time soon I bet. They started getting suspicious when I didn't want to be confirmed as a Methodist

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 13 months ago Author

Hi Pastel Rose; I know it can be hard when your parents disagree with something you feel strongly about. I hope you are able to talk to them soon and come to some kind of peaceful agreement.

ChryseousLunaria 8 months ago

Hello WiccanSage, I am very proud of being a Wiccan and happy in taking my spiritual path, I am 18 years old. But the thing is, here in my country , Philippines, Wicca does not have a good reputation, people here often accuse wiccans as bad persons, sinners, killers and plauge bringers. I am very scared. Even my family don't want my religion. What should I do? Surely, other people will be mad at me if they know what my religion is.

ChryseousLunaria 8 months ago

And also wiccan here in our country, oftenly associated to demonic practices and we are also considered as spawn of the demon. So I am really scared. I need answers from you. And if you want to see 'bout our history in wiccan here, you can search "mangkukulam" in Google.

Liz Himebaugh 6 months ago

Hi! I have to say, this was very sad to hear/read. I'm 16, and have been drawn to "magic" ever since I can remember. I never truly understood it until a while back. I fully plan on joining a cult when I turn 18, or finding a mentor. I live with my mother and brother-both devout Christians. While it was saddening to read that I can't get any help from someone who is experienced, it was also enlightening to read the comments. I don't feel so alone now, and you have also made me realize what I needed to. Wicca isn't just about spells and cults. It's a religion, and it should be treated as such. I fully plan on creating a relationship with the Spirits (God and Goddess). However, meditating is hard for me. I have so many distractions in my life. I've been clinically diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. (This has gotten so bad, I can't tell what's actually real sometimes.) I own an amethyst crystal that sometimes helps calm my nerves whenever I try to meditate, but most of the time I can't focus. I don't feel at peace and I don't feel any Divine light come over me. I just feel alone. If you have any help with this, please help me. I'm dedicated to becoming Wiccan and being more in-tune with the earth and spirits. Thank you.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 months ago Author

Hi Chry, I'm so sorry you are in a place where people are not understanding of your beliefs, and I don't blame you for being scared. I wish I could tell you some easy thing to do to make it better, but it's just not that easy a world. You might want to simply keep your beliefs private and disguised to protect your own safety; what you believe is personal, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

I know that can get a bit lonely; perhaps someday you'll consider a move to a place that is more open and accepting toward your beliefs, but for now just protect yourself.

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 months ago Author

Hi Liz; I'm so sorry you're struggling with finding peace. Meditation can take time, and can help with issues like depression and anxiety, but it makes it all the more challenging to get started. Guided meditations to help keep you focused on something positive might help; there are many on Youtube though it's probably best to start with brief ones and work your way toward lengthening them.

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    Mackenzie Sage Wright (WiccanSage)534 Followers
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    A Wiccan of 25 years, Sage likes to put her background as a writer and teacher to use by helping people learn about this NeoPagan path.

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