Chloe has been researching magic, spirits, supernatural beings, and supernatural powers for nearly 20 years.
A Dilemma for Teenage Witches
I am forever seeing questions from teenagers who want to practice witchcraft or Wicca but don't want their parents to know about it.
They usually keep it secret from their parents because of religious differences, or they feel their parents will think it's silly. I don't recommend keeping secrets from your parents, but sometimes practicing on the down-low is necessary.
You will be out on your own soon enough—it won't hurt you to follow your parents' rules a little bit longer. Until then, these tips will hopefully make living under your parents' roof a little bit easier.
Why do you want to practice witchcraft? Witchcraft is such a broad term anyway. So what exactly do you want to learn? Who exactly do you want to worship? There are so many options.
Start by identifying what you do and don't believe in. Then make a list of things you are interested in learning. This will help guide you. There is so much information out there it's good to have a starting point.
I actually got into Wicca when I was about 15. I was, for some reason, obsessively researching superstitions, and that led me to witchcraft.
My mother was raised in a strictly religious Seventh-day Adventist household. I'm not sure if she ever really believed in God, but she had become very anti-religious by the time I was born. Everything I learned about Christianity came from my grandparents, who lived a couple of states away, and from my friends, who invited me to church with them after sleepovers.
I was lucky enough to have the freedom to research and practice whatever religion I wanted. I still kept it on the down-low because I figured she would think it was silly.
You'll find different "rules" in different places, but there's really only one that everyone agrees on:
"Do as you will and harm none."
So basically, you can do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anyone else or yourself.
Gods, Goddesses, and Other Deities
You can really worship any deity that you like. There are books and websites dedicated to them. Do your research and see who resonates with you.
Many choose to worship the "God and Goddess" or "Father Sky and Mother Earth." They are the embodiment of male and female energy. They are not really given names though some people like to associate them with certain deities.
I personally choose not to worship any deities. I believe in using the earth's natural energy and resources to practice magic.
Read More From Exemplore
The best way to practice Wicca or witchcraft is by interacting and respecting nature. Go to the woods or a park. Put your bare feet in the grass. Listen to the sounds around you. Enjoy the natural world.
Magic Is Free
Magic is free. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to scam you or take advantage of you.
Tools are used to help you focus your mind on your intention. That's why candles are so popular. Watching the flame of a candle helps you focus on your spell. If you are not allowed to have candles or open flames, then you simply have to choose something else to focus on, such as holding a crystal (or pretty rock).
If you do have some money to spare, treat yourself with some pretty stuff. I recommend choosing quality overlooks. Items you make yourself are also better than the stuff made in China.
Candles: I loved burning candles as a kid. My whole family was really into bonfires and stuff, so lighting candles wasn't a big deal. Whenever possible, you want to use a new candle for each spell. This ensures it has "clean" energy. So using tea candles or votive candles are perfect. They're also way cheaper. Just be safe and never leave a lit candle alone.
Incense: I learned something pretty cool when storing my incense. If you store it in a small box and then open the box, it will make your room smell like incense without burning anything. So keep this in mind if you're not allowed to light anything on fire. (Even some real-world rental places don't let you burn stuff.)
Crystals and Stones: You can find a lot of good stones just by looking at the ground. I have a whole tin of quartz that I found at the beach and in my mother's yard.
Buy your stones at rock shops, not at novelty stores. Half the time, those are plastic, fake, or manufactured.
Books: My local library actually had a few books about witchcraft and Wicca. (Check the non-fiction section in the 130s). You may also be able to get other books through inter-library loans if that is available to you. Many books are available in e-book form if you want to read them on your phone. You can even find some for free by searching the book's title +pdf.
You're going to get better information from popular books published by reputable authors.
Warning—be careful searching the internet because there is a lot of misinformation out there, and some people intentionally post misleading information that could harm you.
A lot of people get interested in witchcraft because they want to do magick (yeah the real kind with the "k" at the end).
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the real magic is not like in the movies. There's no pouring potions or purple smoke. It's also extremely unlikely that you'll hear or see anything abnormal.
There is no white magic or black magic. Magic is a form of neutral energy that you can use for whatever purpose you desire. It's up to you whether that energy is used for "good" or "evil."
Many practitioners follow the "rule of three." They believe any energy you send out into the world will come back to you times three. This is good to keep in mind when deciding on spells to cast.
Book of Shadows
Many practitioners have a "book of shadows." You've seen them in the movies, huge and fancy with beautiful pictures. In reality, these are usually handwritten in regular notebooks, maybe a fancy journal from Barnes & Noble.
A book of shadows is used to keep all of your research in one place. So if there are any spells or rituals that you like, you can put them into your book of shadows to easily find when you need them.
Everyone's book is different, and you should really only show them to trusted people.
You can journal in your book of shadows too. Write down your observations or any dreams you remember. Keep a list of things you want to research.
I recommend adding a meditation practice into your routine. It helps you clear your mind and really get in tune with yourself.
I recently discovered the "wall gazing" method. You don't need anything but relative silence and a blank wall to sit in front of. Sit cross-legged as close to the wall as you can, so basically you want your knees touching the wall (If you cannot sit comfortably this way then sit on a chair). Keep your back straight. If you have poor posture then this will definitely be uncomfortable.
Then you just sit there and stare at the wall. Thoughts are going to come into your mind. Just watch them pass by, like watching cars on the street. They don't stop to talk to you, they just drive on past. Your mind is going to want to follow these thoughts. When you notice this happen don't get upset, just bring yourself back by refocusing on your breathing.
This is not easy, and it's not fun. It's not supposed to be fun. It's not supposed to be relaxing. It's work but it will really help you achieve what you want in your life. It helps you understand what your true priorities are.
Your mind is going to hate you for doing this. It's going to come up with a million reasons why meditation is stupid and you should just stop or give up. It's going to tell you everything around your home you could be doing right now. Accept those thoughts and refocus. You can do it.
Leave any questions you have down below and I'll try to answer as best I can.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Menuha on May 22, 2020:
Hi! I was reading the comments, and I was going to ask the same thing; my parents would kill me if I lit a candle my self, so is it ok to cast spells without them?Also, I think I am to young to start, so at what age do you recommend to start witchcraft? What is the best way that to break the news to my parents about that I am a witch???
Hello Kitty on January 24, 2020:
Is it possible to do Magick without candles? I’m not allowed to light them
Raven on December 04, 2019:
My 2 friends and I have been studying Wicca for maybe 3 months now. We are thinking of becoming solitary Wiccans in late January. We have done our research and practiced minor spells... our parents are in the dark about all this. Do you think we should go through with the initiation?
anastasia miller on November 16, 2019:
can someone help me become a witch, my mom doesn't like it. I want to be, add me on skype email@example.com anastasia miller to help, please.
anastasia on November 16, 2019:
if anyone has skype, i need help on being a witch firstname.lastname@example.org anastasia miller
anastasia on November 16, 2019:
how do i lowkey do magic in the house? lol my mom is totaly against it.
Norah on November 16, 2019:
hey Aimee! i'm also new to witchcraft and though i'm not part of wicca, i am trying to teach myself and be a solitary eclectic witch. i am a teenager but if you are okay with it i could email you and share stuff i' ve learned
Aimee on November 06, 2019:
Could anyone help by emailing me? My email address is email@example.com. I trust you witches.
Aimee on November 05, 2019:
i have read a few articals on witchcraft and am interested but I wondered if there there was something like a trance or spell that shows me what it does? Pls help!
Eunice on September 29, 2019:
How will I know which witch craft is right for me?
Beth on September 04, 2019:
I would love to start practicing witchcraft but don’t want to worship any deities. Can I still celebrate the holidays? (Mabon, Yule, etc)
Btw, very helpful and informative article!
Kate storm witch on May 14, 2019:
I really need to make sure my parents dont find out....im already on thin ice for being gay.....as you cant tell they arnt too open minded...my dad used to be a pastor for a christian church
Teo on January 14, 2019:
Hello, i have been following for a year chloe, i am looking for something new to read about, do you have any suggestions?
Cats_Nightcore on July 29, 2018:
I'm new to magick, and I need advice on which spells will work even after I master the whole mind thing. I also don't really want my parents to know. Any suggestions?
Hisui on May 18, 2018:
When you say 'what exactly do you want to learn' are there different types of magick? Im very new and want to learn more about it.
Jupider on May 17, 2018:
Wow this is AWSOME! I’m guessing this still pertains 11 year olds like meeeeeee!
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on April 27, 2018:
KittyKat110000: Love spells are tricky. That's because love is a combination of a bunch of other things, compassion, trust, chemistry, shared interests, physical attractiveness. But personally I think it's unfair to try to force someone to love you.
It's also unlikely you will be able to change a physical characteristic such as your height.
Kittykat110000 on April 27, 2018:
I really need some help I need a spell that can make someone fall in love, and maybe a spell to get taller are there any??
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on February 22, 2018:
Kaity02: Different deities have different preferences when it comes to prayer and worship. You'll have to do your own research on that. I personally do not worship any deities.
Kaity02 on February 19, 2018:
Hey there Chloe,
For the Gods and Goddesses, I've chosen Nyx, Goddess of night. Im also new to wicca and I'd like to know how to exactly worship her and connect to her. Is there some ritual you do to connect to Nyx? Or some special prayer?
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on February 14, 2018:
AJA: I find Scott Cunningham's books to be very straightforward. You can find several of them for free online by typing "Scott Cunningham PDF" in to Google. He clearly states the facts and clearly states his own opinions.
I would recommend that you keep a journal as you learn. Your own thoughts will teach you more than you realize.
AJA on February 13, 2018:
So. Many. Questions. I want to become a wiccan, but I know nothing about magick and I have trouble focusing on anything that isn't my own thoughts. Any books you recommend when it comes to wiccans who are beginners.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on February 10, 2018:
Athena: Most magic practiced in Wicca is performed within the own mind. Tools such as candles, incense, and crystals are used to help you focus your mind, but are ultimately unnecessary.
If you are still living with your parents then you have to accept the rules of their house, if this means no candles or incense that's the way it has to be (sometimes even after you have moved into an apartment of your own you are not allowed candles or incense).
This just means you have to find other ways to help yourself focus. This can be achieved through journaling or meditation (sitting silently and letting your thoughts wash over you until your mind is clear). You can also take a walk through a park, listen to the wind/rain, or stargaze to connect with the earth.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on February 10, 2018:
Katiewitch: I actually don't know that much about gemstones. I mostly use quartz I find on the beach and around my house.
Athena on February 09, 2018:
My parents are devout Christians, my dad is a pastor, and they see Wicca as stupid and against their god. I never saw anything in Christianity, and have become interested in Wicca, but they refuse to let me practice. I don't want to lie to them about practicing, but I want to practice. What do I do?
Katiewitch on February 09, 2018:
How can you tell if the gemstones you buy are real?
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on February 04, 2018:
It is not hard to become a Wiccan. You can have a little ceremony to initiate yourself but it is not necessary. There is no formal hierarchy and you don't have to dedicate yourself to any deities unless you want to.
Wicca is a religion that encourages learning, and personal growth. So if in a few months/years you decide you want to do something else you can.
Wicca is simply one path of practicing witchcraft and using spellwork. There are many other paths you could take.
There are lots of books out there. Just start reading and see where it takes you. I recommend keeping a journal. Write down the things that resonate with you and that you want to learn more about.
Erin on February 03, 2018:
Is it hard to become Wiccan? I found this not too long ago and it appeals to me a lot! Is there anything I should know about being Wiccan before I try it? What I required/needed to practice being Wiccan?
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on January 11, 2018:
Nicolle: There is no such thing as good or bad energy. It's all about your intent. There are no tricks or loopholes. You're not asking a genie for a wish.
If you cast a spell for money you very likely won't get a bad result like finding stolen money or a relative dying to leave you an inheritance. You'll probably either find money on the sidewalk or be shown a job opportunity.
Witchcraft is just using magic. There are many different paths of magic users. Wicca is just one of them.
Wicca is a religion that practices witchcraft. Practitioners tend to worship Mother Earth. They follow the Rule of 3 (what you send out will come back to you three times) and "Do as you will as you harm none."
There are many books about the topics of Wicca and Witchcraft. Many local libraries carry them in the non-fiction religion section. Read up. There's always more to learn.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on December 18, 2017:
You do not have to worship any deities in Wicca. Many practitioners just do what they can to show respect for the earth such as recycling or growing plants.
Radhika on December 16, 2017:
this was an enlightening and particularly 'clicking' article and i am so grateful of having read it. i am a teen, but i've always heard people say i am sort of a wise adult from the inside. i have been reading about Wicca a lot. till now, religion was fickle for me. somehow i could not connect to it, especially the system of deities. but then i stumbled upon Wicca. something from deep inside told me that it is the path for me. but i still have....i don't know, something against worshiping deities to reach god. it doesn't actually appeal to me. and yet Wicca attracts me. because it is the religion of Nature and my family has borne some awesome nature-lovers(including me). so, do i have to relate to deities to follow my path through Wicca?
Rowan, age 11 on November 16, 2017:
@Andrea I have the same thing, albeit it's quite rare, but I have my visions via dreams. It is quite difficult to explain. Maybe it's some natural psychic-witch genetic thing. I don't know. Just realize that you and your friends aren't alone with this ability.
andria on November 16, 2017:
Hey, i'm 14 and i need help doing all of this stuff. I can see the future, like i know whats going to happen before it happens, its really hard to explain. My friends are also apart of this stuff but we are all new at this and need help. Its hard to find someone who understands because no one believes in this anymore. We want to use our abilities for the greater good.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on November 05, 2017:
Wicca is a religion that worships the "Goddess" or "Mother Earth" and sometimes, to a lesser extent a "God" or "Father Sky."
Anyone can practice witchcraft and use magick regardless of religious beliefs. So there are Christians who practice witchcraft (which doesn't make any sense to me) as well as athiests who do magick and spells.
Quinley on November 05, 2017:
I'm kind of confused. I've read different articles, some saying that to be considered Wiccan you must worship some kind of deity. Others saying you don't. So what is it? I've read articles by people saying that you can love nature and be interested in magick and not be Wiccan soooo...?
kassy on October 18, 2017:
i would love to star witch craft iv'e always been interested and a close friend and their family practice it but i need some starting tips every thing i need to know to get started any books that can help me? Maybe someone to talk to about starting.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on October 02, 2017:
The natural world is divided into the four elements. Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. If you want you can include the element of Spirit/Soul and make it five elements. The best way to learn about the elements is to work with them. This is best done if you are able to get out into nature. I know a lot of people live in urban environments and nature is not as easy to come by. There are plenty of ways to work with the elements in the comfort of your own home.
Fire: You can work with the element of fire by using a candle. Though always be safe and make sure you have permission to burn candles. Sit and focus on the flame and how it moves. Find an opportunity to build a campfire. It definitely helps you respect the element of fire.
Water: Water is a very cleansing element. You take showers, wash your face, drink water to purify your body. Each of these can become their own small cleansing rituals as long as you stay mindful while you are doing them.
Earth: Get a small houseplant if you can. Be mindful of the watering instructions. It really is amazing to see plants grow and change. Or find a tree or other plant you are drawn to and pay attention to how it changes over time.
Air: We need air to live. Every time you take a breath you are working with the element of air. Really take some time to focus on your breathing. Stand outside on a windy day and really feel the power of the element of air.
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on September 08, 2017:
All people are able to harness the energy of the universe to practice witchcraft and cast spells. There's much more to magic than just casting spells. It's also a way to understand the world around you and gain insight into your own personal beliefs.
Spells and the tools and chants involved are just used to focus your energy to achieve a specific result. You are probably already casting mini spells without realizing it. Anytime you find yourself focusing on something you are working magic. If you find yourself focusing on rain/sunshine for a particular event then you are working magic. If you are "praying" for a specific result for something. That is magic.
Jozarah Ango on September 07, 2017:
Two questions. Can you practice witchcraft if your a boy?
I'm 13 and am studying Wicca and witchcraft but no one else knows about it. I haven't tried to cast any spells yet and am unsure of what would be a simple spell to try to get me started. Please could you help?
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on September 03, 2017:
Destiny: When explaining to others use "feel" statements. "It makes me feel in control. It makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel connected."
When casting spells you want to be as focused as possible. Be very aware of your intention and keep in mind any way your spell could go astray.
kkritika: If you're lucky you may find a rock shop in your area that sells rocks and gemstones. Maybe an occult shop. Avoid getting them at novelty shops because sometimes they are fake and made of plastic. There are plenty of places to buy them online. Just look at reviews and make sure they are reputable. You will pay more for real crystals. If you think you've found a deal they may be fake and made of plastic or glass.
I've never personally used any sort of protection spell so I'm not much help there.
anonymous: I have heard there are Christian witches. I don't know how they reconcile the practice of witchcraft with the teachings of the bible. If you find you are interested in this sort of thing then maybe it's time to start doing some research. There are many deities and plenty of religious practices. Maybe there is one that better fits your needs out there.
Makaylah Sakari: It really depends on where you live. You can ask around, or you can wear some witchy jewelry like a pentagram to signal that you are a witch and see if anyone approaches you.
MakaylahSakari on August 30, 2017:
I'm a freshman in high school. Do you know if every school has witches?
anonymous on August 30, 2017:
Im scared that god will punish me if i do this i love god i guess i am christian but i ddo think this sounds kind of fun
kritika on August 26, 2017:
where can we find crystals?
and how to cast protection spell?
Destiny on August 23, 2017:
How would i explain to my friends and family that this is not silly?.. I'm exactly out of the closet i guesss you could say. Lol. Also any advice on spell casting and studying? Thanks. Much appreciated.
Tori Harris on August 12, 2017:
Hahahahaha that was a funny come back
Chloe (author) from Minnesota on July 07, 2017:
Would you say it was teenage angst if I was giving advice about how to practice Christianity in secret?
Dugitron9001 on July 06, 2017:
Teenage angst, nothing more.