Confidence: The Secret Ingredient to Make Spells Work
Confidence is Spellbinding
When you first set out to learn how to be a witch, psychology was probably the furthest thing from your mind. Most people want to learn about herbs, crystals and spells, and for good reason! Unfortunately, these things fall pretty flat unless you have the key ingredient to witchcraft spells that work: confidence.
We all know that person whose confidence inspires envy in everyone they meet. From work to romance and social life, they seem to just know they'll be successful, and they're always right. How nice it would be to wake up every morning living the charmed life!
Well, if you're a witch I'm here to tell you that it's not just a fantasy, it's your birthright. Confidence is at the heart of manifesting all that you desire, not only in magickal practice but in everyday life. If you find yourself lacking confidence, you can bet that your witchcraft is suffering for it as well. Put these principles to practice and watch your manifesting abilities grow.
Confidence is a Choice
You heard me. Sure, it's an easier choice to make for some people. Some witches grow up in magickal households where their practice is encouraged, while others grow up in extremely religious households that forbid anything with the slightest whiff of the occult. These circumstances are not equal and they're not fair, but the hard truth is that if life was fair, witchcraft probably wouldn't exist.
The biggest lie that humanity has bought into is that some people just have "it." That X factor that makes it possible to wake up everyday being completely self-assured. Maybe some people really do just have "it," but if they do it's more likely due to the constant reinforcement of their parents and role models (or just plain narcissism.) Never let those easy-breezy people convince you that you can't have "it", too. The rest of us just have to work a bit harder to develop it.
How do you develop confidence? By faking it one step at a time. Of course, this solution is only helpful in conjunction with some serious shadow work, which we'll talk about in the next selection, but for now we'll keep it simple. There's a reason that people recite those "silly" affirmations in front of the mirror every morning. It works. Part of being confident is being willing to do things other people dismiss as silly if it's for your own benefit.
Do you have to look in a mirror and recite cheesy affirmations you find online? No, but it probably wouldn't hurt. Affirmations are just one type of mental reprogramming. Your brain has been trained to think negatively about your abilities by absorbing years of insults, pessimism and criticism. Building confidence can be as simple as giving yourself compliments throughout the day, whether you believe them or not. (TIP: Try to make them reasonable! You're not likely to believe it if you call yourself a super genius, no matter how many times you repeat the affirmation. Keep it simple and believable. "I really have a knack for candle magick." "I'm a quick learner with runes and tarot.")
Confidence is Key -- Take it From This Youtube Goddess
Your Thoughts Become Your Reality
So, how do you become more confident? It starts by dissecting your own mental processes. Learn to pay attention to the voice inside your head when you're doing a spell. Does it sound anything like this?
You have everything together, but does it really feel right? It doesn't look like the way that witch on Youtube had her setup. Do you really even deserve that promotion? Tanya is a better employee, you know she's going to get it anyway. You'll mess something up, you always do.
If so, take things a little further and begin analyzing your thought processes in the more mundane aspects of life. Are they similar? Second guessing and insulting yourself is a big enough problem in terms of mental health, and it is absolutely detrimental to the practice of witchcraft.
Once you're aware of the negative thought patterns that are impeding your magick, the next step is to begin to untangle them. In my experience, you can't simply "think positive" and expect these deep-rooted thoughts to just go away. You have to get to the source. Do you feel conflicted about a particular working? Why? Create a pros and cons list. If the benefits of performing the spell outweigh the drawbacks and you still feel conflicted, try to get to the deeper issue.
Common Psychological Hangups That Are Holding You Back from Casting a Spell That Works
"I'm not sure this spell will work."
"I'm not sure of my own abilities."
Build your confidence by doing magick.
"I don't know if I should do this."
"I'm scared of the consequences." OR "I think this is wrong."
Pause to solidify your beliefs, proceed accordingly.
"I don't feel focused."
"I'm unsure of my own intentions."
Stop, focus on one or 2 things and simplify the spell.
"I'm having a hard time raising energy."
"I'm casting a spell for the sake of casting a spell."
Don't cast the spell if your intentions aren't in it!
I know I said you don't have to use affirmations, but this is the part where I recommend that you use affirmations. It's science! In fact, some therapists recommend that you begin by writing a list of all the things you don't like about yourself, including criticisms from others that have stuck with you over the years. (I know that doesn't sound particularly productive, but bear with me.)
You can apply the same techniques to help you get your witchcraft mojo back in action. Write down a list of everything you think is wrong about you as a magickal practitioner. All of the things in the back of your mind that haunt you during ritual, when we're often most vulnerable to suggestion. Set the list aside and create another one. This time, write a list of positive affirmations. What are the things that make you a great witch? Everyone is good at something. Maybe you're an intuitive card reader or you're a source of emotional support for your coven. You could even ask your magickal friends to help you add to the list. I guarantee they've noticed some strengths you've missed!
Once you have both lists, start speaking the positive affirmations aloud everyday, three times a day. (Again, repetitive verbal affirmations are a trick many therapists and life coaches recommend.) I won't lie, at first it's going to feel awkward. You're going to stumble over the words because if you're on this page, it's very likely that you don't believe them. Do it anyway. Everyday, three times a day, for thirty days. At the end of the thirty days, hold a ritual and feel free to invite friends or coven members to join you. Re-read your list of negative magickal qualities and see if you feel any differently after 66 days of speaking positive truths into your life.
Do the negative qualities seem less realistic to you now? I hope so. Burn them in a safe way, rip them to shreds, bury them at a crossroads or exercise your preferred method of banishing and disposal. Those negative qualities, even if a handful of them have a grain of truth, no longer have power over you. You choose to embrace the things that make you a powerful witch and you choose to change your weaknesses for your own benefit. They don't get to change the way you see yourself.
Retrain Your Brain
Make Confidence a Habit
Why repeat positive affirmations for 66 days? Research shows that this is the average amount of time it takes to form a new habit in our busy lives. Kind of remarkable, isn't it? Many of us spend our entire lives, entire decades, hammering in the habit of seeing ourselves as sub-par magickal practitioners, comparing ourselves to other witches and second guessing our spellwork. All it takes is two months to begin to undo those lifelong hangups!
The voice is one of the most powerful elements of magick available to us as witches, and yet we so seldom use it! Studies show that speaking affirmations out loud has a profound effect on how much we believe them, as compared to just thinking them. Use this to its full advantage in your spellwork. If you can do so safely, speak your intentions out loud. When you charge or empower an object, tell it so! Call upon your deities with confidence. Speak life into your spells and instruct your correspondences on what their purpose is. This will not only help raise energy but clarify your own intentions as well.
Chanting and incantations are excellent forms of voice magick, but it isn't the only one. If you're like me and you tend to feel awkward about reciting words others have written, especially when it comes to spells that are more purple in prose, write your own. It doesn't have to be fancy. Here are a few simple spell words for popular spells.
Magickal Chants and Words
Types of Spells
Words of Power
"I have all that I need, money effortlessly flows to me."
"Money, come to me. In abundance 3 times 3."
"I attract love in everything I do. My love is on its way."
"[Name] be mine and I'll be thine."
"It is broken. [Issue] holds no more power over me."
"Away you go and never come back. [Deity] now protects my back."
"Good luck follows me wherever I go."
"A clover here, a penny there. Good luck finds me everywhere."
- How Long Does it Actually Take to Form a New Habit? Backed by Science.
How long does it really take to form a new habit? Read this article to learn the science behind habit formation and how to use it best.
- 5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You | Psychology Today
Why can one person have great success using affirmations while another see's no results at all? An affirmation can work as it has the ability to program your mind into believing the stated concept. Learn how to make them more effect for you.