OK, so your South Node would be in Leo in the 7th house, let's begin there. The 7th house rules marriage, and with Leo there, in past lives and this one, you would have been looking for someone to treat you like royalty and cater to you quite a bit. You would be bossy with a partner. But Leo is a romantic sign and can be very loving and generous, though it's a sort of show-off vibe. The North Node is where you need to be going to balance your karma in this life. So in Aquarius, you need to focus on what the other person or people in your life want and need and learn to give a little more, to compromise more. It's a more intellectual kind of caring, sort of working in a partnership, but towards common goals, idealistic ones, because it matters, not to get attention.
But Aquarius loves to be a nonconformist, which is fine, as long as it's not just to stand out. In the 1st house, you probably do get attention for what you do or your appearance, or both. But you need it to be because you are serving people in some way, or involved in projects that help others, not just getting attention for yourself and what you have. Mars is action-oriented, and in Aquarius, you should feel a humanitarian pull or care for people who need help. That's why it's hard for you to fit in, you like to be different, and don't especially want to adapt to others. Aquarius is a fixed and stubborn, or persistent, sign.
Saturn is right at home in Capricorn, so this is a good thing. You have a sensible streak. But in the 1st house, Saturn can represent exactly what you mention. You could be held back by a health issue or some other kind of serious hardship with Saturn in the 1st house. I don't see anything to cause self-esteem issues, although your desire to be different may annoy loved ones. But you need to be who you are, and the Saturn in Capricorn can help you explain that to those that really matter, all adults need to be able to make decisions about their own lives. If others don't accept that, it's not your fault, be true to yourself. I don't think the Saturn is blocking relationships here, as Cancer would be on the cusp of your marriage house, very stable, home-loving, and nurturing. Try to figure out who you are without overdoing it and if others can't accept that, it's on them as long as you feel sure. The relationship may not be the most conventional, but you should find one that works for you.