It seems to be a conflict, if you have the desire, but not the energy. Mars is Taurus is a little bit lazy, but can be overcome to work hard if you really care as much as you say you do. Venus in Aries is socially outgoing, and to want to use your abilities to help others, this Venus position will help you. Since the Pisces planets are in the 10th house, it is the career house, so you could do well and get attention and work doing it. It is hard to find work in metaphysical subjects. You usually have to work out of a bookstore or metaphysical group who has a building. That's why I cast charts and do readings from home, online. These are not readings, just questions which are about articles I wrote. People who ask here don't realize they are writing into a writer's site, and many of us wrote these articles many years ago. You need to find people who speak your language and take a class or study group, and that may help motivate you.