Identifying and Cultivating Relationships With Your Spirit Guides

Updated on July 6, 2020
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Rebecca loves sharing what I know about alternative medicine, health, frugal living, fun, animals, and how to live a better life!

Who Are Our Guides?

Guides are always with us whether we feel them or not, and they come in a variety of forms. We have main guides that are with us before we are born, and others that will come and go. The majority of guides are disincarnate spirits, meaning they were once human—not all, but most. It's important to note that not all guides bring positive influences into our lives. Good guides will never mess with your free will or try to deceive you, and they will never force you to make decisions. The guides you want to work with are the ones who lovingly support, encourage, and teach you in your current incarnation. They want the best for you and will help you achieve it. Should you want their assistance, ask. This article is primarily focused on the importance of the relationship you establish with your main guide (for psychic or spiritual work). You will know them when you meet.

What Is a Main Spirit Guide?

The purpose of the main guide is to be your partner in psychic or mediumship work.

Main Guides Will:

  • Help you understand and use your spiritual senses and abilities.
  • Offer advice and guidance.
  • Teach and help you learn.
  • Feel loving and supportive. Any guide that doesn't should be mentally told to leave and will no longer be permitted into your energetic field.

Essentially, a main guide will become your partner in spirit communication, and they often feel very much like a long lost friend. You will feel deeply connected with them and establish a very effortless relationship. They know you inside and out, and over time you will realize you know them better than you think as well.

Your main guide can appear in any form they feel is beneficial to you. For example, they will "man" the spirit door when you are working, only allowing spirits through that they know you can handle communication with. They will help you translate the information you receive when doing a reading for someone else, and they will also determine when communication is over by "closing that mental door."

Initially, it may not feel this way; you may find you're completely overwhelmed with sensory data coming from the spiritual planes and find it hard to believe there is a guide helping at all. If you are at this stage, please make your meditation schedule a regimented priority. When we meditate with the intention of meeting our guides, it's like meeting a friend for coffee. Our guides will expect us to show up. If you're not taking the relationship seriously, neither will they. They will assist you in becoming grounded, balanced, and protected. And will assist you most when you ASK them to.

Some state that guides are just aspects of the higher self. I can neither confirm nor deny this, but I do feel that on this journey we encounter both. Even aspects of our former selves in previous lives. But the main guide will "feel" different, and you will just "know" when they are there. This is one very special relationship, and with time, trust, and effort, it will never let you down.

Respect Is Key

A relationship with your main guide should be based on respect. Any guide willing to work with you will honor any boundaries you have. It is a major blessing to get to know them as the relationship unfolds.

How Do I Contact and Communicate With My Main Guide?

  • Get yourself on a regular meditation schedule. Unless you were born a natural psychic or medium, the best way to meet your main guide is through meditation. The important part is being consistent. Plan to devote at least two hours a week to your meditation work, preferably at the same day and time each week.
  • Begin a journal. This can be used to simply note what you receive in meditation, or it can also document the information you receive from your guide(s). You will want to log what you see, hear, feel, and sense, not only about your guide but also psychic impressions. Be discreet with this journal as it houses personal information that does not need to be shared with everyone.
  • Ask for your guide to come into your dream state. You can ask for assistance with a problem before dozing off to sleep, and then hopefully you will receive info either in the dream state or upon first waking up. A journal will be a big help in tracking this information and deciphering the symbolism hidden in your guide's message.
  • Ask your guide for signs Asking for signs can be as basic as a song, number, or tokens like feathers. Often they will give you them even when you don't ask.

Be Consistent

Dedication and commitment to service are going to influence communication and will increase your odds of successfully establishing contact with your guide.

Signs Your Guide Is Around

  • Psychic impressions that may come in various forms (i.e. hearing, seeing, sensations).
  • Feathers. For some reason, guides like to lead us to find feathers in very odd locations.
  • Very vivid dreams (lucidity), and visions in meditations.
  • Hearing your name called when no one is physically around.
  • Repeating numbers, songs, or animals crossing your path.
  • Automatic writing, or feeling the need to write down internal guidance you "hear" or sense.
  • Feeling "someone" is with you.
  • Mentor opportunities. For example, receiving a book or other bit of information right at the exact moment you need it. Again, you'll just "know."
  • Seeing lights, orbs, or flashes that do not have a logical explanation.

Learn to Ground and Protect Before Working With Spirit Guides

If you determine you are ready to work with Spirit, then you must first learn to ground and protect with focused intention. You don't have to visualize this, but you must sense, feel, and set the intention that you are protected. Do this until you feel it without question. Do this two to three times a day before trying to contact disincarnate spirits or guides. You can visualize being protected in many ways; some use robes, some use bubbles, some use mirrors, some follow a quick meditation process. Use whatever comes to mind that makes you feel protected beyond any doubt. There is no set way, and you may find over time that your preferences change. This is all okay.

When you begin meditations to meet guides, always ground and protect before and after, and only request the service from the highest good. Grounding visually is easy.

How to Visually Ground Yourself

  1. Get yourself in a quiet, relaxed state. Starting at the top of your head and moving down to your feet, visualize a ball of white energy. Pass this through each part of your physical body. This ball will collect all negative energy as it travels.
  2. When you get to the base of your feet (or root), turn the ball into black or red cords.
  3. Visualize these cords going deep into the earth and connecting to the core. Wrap and tie them around the core. Dump all your negative energy into the center of the core where it will cycle back into pure, clean energy.
  4. Draw this pure energy (in the form of white again) back up through your feet, all the way up and out of your head. Taking a moment to clean and clear each of the 7 main body chakras. If you're reading this article I will assume you are familiar with what they are.
  5. When you feel this energy about two feet above your head, you'll know you are well grounded. Now bring it all around you encompassing you in a bubble and ask your guide to step into this space.

Practice grounding before meditations. Ideally, grounding, protecting, and clearing should be done at least once a day once you are regularly working with guides.

Guides Come in a Variety of Forms

It's important to note that even a stellar guide will not prevent you from screwing up or making bad decisions. We are here to experience life and learn lessons that will expand our soul growth. And if you purposely put yourself in harm's way, it's not the job of a guide to just jump in and rescue you. Although angels have been known to intervene and protect us from danger, most guides will not. "Harm's way" can manifest physically, emotionally, or spiritually, and though a guide may not outright save you from it, they are often happy to encourage you to leave certain things alone. You will come to better understand the signs from your guide once you have established a working trustworthy relationship with them.

Guides do not care what you call them, or how you see them. When they show up, they will present themselves to you in a way that works for both of you. Sometimes they will speak, sometimes you will see them in your mind's eye, sometimes both. At other times, they may give you a name, a physical description, or other signs to let you know who they are. They will visit in dreams, during waking hours, or in meditations, and they love synchronicity. Some are even identifiable through ancestry research.

Over the course of our lifetime, we have more than one working guide. Often, we may actually have a whole team—it depends on what purpose we are calling on them for. You may be familiar with mediums stating they have a "spirit team"; they are referring to all of their guides. I personally have 4-6 on a regular basis, but only one main guide.

Things to Consider Before Working With a Guide

If you are working to open your third eye, or are doing any kind of psychic or spiritual work, there are a few things you should do that are imperative for your mental health. First, the importance of grounding cannot be stated strongly enough. You must learn how to ground and protect yourself.

Also, if you are in ill health, and do not generally have your life together, then working with spirits should not be your priority. Ideally, you should not have any chemical addictions—using substances for altered consciousness is one thing, addiction is another. The reason for this is the law of attraction—like attracts like. The last thing mental illness needs is a spiritual aggravation. Seek help from reliable sources before you mess with energy. Your physical frame will adjust as needed by addressing these issues first. If you cannot manage your own life, the last thing you need to do is ask for spirits to make their presence known. You will not be able to discern good from bad when your mind or life is preoccupied with earth plane obligations. Discernment is so important when working with energy.

If you DO have your life in decent order and feel a very strong urge to explore human consciousness and spirituality, then proceed. This is a lifestyle of service and should not be taken lightly.

It's Not for Everyone

Please keep in mind that we are not all destined to become psychics or mediums. Some people will explore this with genuine interest and just not get results. This is not negative or bad, it just may mean your path is not of this nature. That said, the potential is there for everyone, so don't feel discouraged if you don't get instant results. Your main guide will gladly make their presence known if and when the time is right.

Remembering Your Guides From a Young Age

Many working mediums, once they are fully aware of what they can do, recall guides from when they were children. They experience something like an "ah-ha" moment. This may or may not happen for you, but often young mediums first meet a protector or main guide when very little. There are actual "meet your spirit guide" meditations you can find online that can be very useful.

Allow Your Relationship to Grow

As your ability to work with Spirit unfolds, your relationship with your main guide will become very important. You can always request their assistance—even with issues unrelated to psychic work. They can help you with questions about your own life too.

Even when you feel they are not around, don't doubt them. They will sometimes lessen communication during times in life when you need a break, when you are in a phase of deep inner development, or when you need to tend to other things.

The relationship with your main guide is truly a blessing and will only continue to grow if you remain committed and dedicated.

Be Patient and Accepting

Please keep in mind that we are not all destined to become psychics or mediums. Some people will explore this with genuine interest and just not get results. This is not negative or bad, it just may mean your path is not of this nature. That said, the potential is there for everyone, so don't feel discouraged if you don't get instant results. Your main guide will gladly make their presence known if and when the time is right.

© 2016 Rebecca


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    • boo77boo profile image


      14 months ago from uk

      I think ive seen one of my guides well at least the side of his head he would not let me see the rest of him i was in this dream were i was on a sort of a bridge and i was looking in a vortex like whirpool im not sure which one it was now it may have been the brother i lost some time ago i could see him going round and round my instinct was to save him i went to jump over the bridge into swirling waves when i was pulled i back on to the bridge i caught a glimpse of the side of his head he just said you cannot go in there there is nothing you can do i suddenly woke up and felt sadness


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