How to Teleport: Teleportation for Beginners

Updated on June 6, 2019

If you’re anything like me, you will have spent many a futile hour day-dreaming about teleportation. How cool would it be to transport ourselves huge distances quicker than it takes to shake a lamb’s tail? No more tedious car journeys, no more mind numbing train travel and best of all, no more mingling with the obnoxious hoi polloi in crowded airports. If I could teleport, I’d zap myself everywhere in a blink. Zap out of bed to the car in the morning, zap back when I realise I have no clothes on, zap into the shower, zap into some funky clothes and finally zap myself directly to the shops as it dawns on me that I don’t need the useless junk of automotive metal my sleep befuddled brain first zapped me into when I woke up.

So how can I make my dreams (and perhaps yours) a reality? Well fortunately for all of us, crazy mad scientists the whole world over are even now dreaming up new ways of twisting the very laws of physics to enable us to transport ourselves almost instantaneously to our destinations, or if not instantly at least as fast as the speed of light.

This (admittedly scientifically naïve) article will show you the popular methods which you can employ to realise your full travelling potential. So without further ado, here are the best ways currently hypothesised to cheat the laws of distance related physics:

Dematerialisation (or How to Lose Lots of Weight Instantly)

First up is the oh-so-fun sounding dematerialisation. In this particular game of astral roulette, the mad scientist will place you on (or possibly in) some kind of machine designed to scan the properties and position of every single atom in your grotesque/sublime (delete as applicable) body. Once all the atoms are scanned the data will be sent to a remote location where the atoms will be reformed using whatever handy molecules happen to be nonchalantly kicking around. Make no mistake though, there are lots of these little atomic critters in your body which need to be copied, roughly 10 to the power of 28 atoms, which despite the deceptively small sounding integers is actually quite a mind bogglingly large number. The net result is a new “you” formed at the destination which is an exact copy of the original “you”.

There’s always a catch however and this method comes with a bloody great big whale hook. In order to scan your body down to the atomic level in this manner, it requires your original beautiful self to be completely destroyed. Utterly annihilated in fact, which is a sure fire way to ruin anyone’s afternoon. This is in part due to something called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Heisenburg was a German physicist born in 1901 and was generally acknowledged by other scientists to be a pretty clever chap. His work in quantum physics led him to assert his Uncertainty Principle which basically states that it’s impossible to know both the exact position and exact velocity of an object at the same time. This is a bit of a bugger for the mad teleportation scientists who need to know the exact position and velocity of each atom in your body so they can recreate them precisely at the teleportation destination. Unfortunately the more you try to scan an atom, the more it is disrupted by the scanning process, until it is completely changed and the information derived from it is useless. This is a bit like trying to apologise to your upset girlfriend when you have no idea why she is actually in a strop. The more you try to find out how you made her angry, the worse the overall situation gets, until eventually your evening disintegrates.

The Einstein-Podolsky-Rose Effect

Fortunately there is an answer to this particular conundrum, but it took three very clever scientists to figure it out. The Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen effect was put forward by Albert Einstein, Boris Podolsky and Nathan Rosen. It describes a unique effect of quantum physics where two particles can become entangled such that when the properties of one change it automatically affects the properties of the other. So by entangling objects it is possible to scan just enough information from the original atom to then be able to garner the remaining un-scanned information from another entangled atom. The original atom is still completely destroyed by the scanning process, but the combination of information from both entangled atoms is sent to the destination location for reforming into a perfect replica.

If this makes no sense at all then think back to the original girlfriend analogy. With entanglement it is analogous to me doing something wrong and my girlfriend instantly knowing about it wherever I am and wherever she is. My wrongdoings and my girlfriend’s uncanny ability to detect them are then passed in exact replica to every other female in my life, most notably my mother. This is a clearly proven scientific phenomenon which explains my total inability to get away with anything even remotely considered inappropriate by the women in my life.

But Who Will You Be on the Other Side? Tweedledum and Tweedledee

As far fetched as dematerialisation teleportation might sound, it is actually the only method which has been successfully demonstrated in a mad scientific laboratory to date. In 1998 mad scientists in California successfully teleported a photon of light a whopping one metre across their lab, creating an exact replica of the photon and destroying the original photon as predicted. Everyone was really impressed until someone pointed out they could have just flicked the light switch on instead.

Similarly, in 2002 an Australian team of mad scientists successfully teleported a laser beam several metres across their laboratory which, while not advancing us much closer to human teleportation, is still infinitely cooler than the Californian experiment due to involving laser beams.

Most recently however, in 2006 some proper mad scientists in Denmark managed to successfully teleport information stored in a laser beam into a cloud of atoms at the teleportation destination. This is pretty cool as it shows for the first time teleportation at least partly involving matter.

The big debate however for dematerialisation teleportation is whether or not you would be the same person coming out of the teleport machine as the person that rather stupidly went in. The fact that the original “you” has to be destroyed in order to create a replica “you” does not get away from the fact that the new “you” is basically a copy of the original. This copy is nonetheless a perfect copy, containing all the thoughts and memories of the person that went into the machine, but can this really be classed as the same person?

It would take a brave or possibly foolish soul to step into a teleport machine in England with the knowledge that they will be roasted alive by a giant laser while a copy of them steps out of a booth in America. This form of teleportation via disintegration does not seem to constitute continuity of existence from any practical perspective.

Then there’s the whole religious debate. I’m not going to open this particular can of worms too far in this article, rather if you indulge me; we’ll just take a sneaky peek under the lid. I would not be comfortable arguing that all the atoms in our body constitute the sum total of our existence. There may well be something “else” that makes each and every one of us unique and I’m not sure that special something would be preserved or transferred to the duplicate “you”. In short, while dematerialisation teleportation is potentially a practical possibility, I’m not going to be signing myself up for the ultimate sun-bed anytime soon.

Inter-Dimensional Travelling

Fortunately, there are alternative methods of teleportation potentially available for those of us unwilling to be ripped apart atom by atom and one of these methods is known as inter-dimensional travelling. This rather handy hypothesis involves postulating that there are a potentially infinite number of parallel universes or other dimensions which we could theoretically travel to. The idea is you find a way to break into the extra dimensional space where it is likely time and space would be significantly distorted in relation to our Universe. You simply take advantage of that distortion to travel a short distance in the extra plane of existence before re-entering our Universe thousands of miles from your original location.

Easy, huh? This method potentially gets us around another problem inherent in our dematerialisation solution, namely that with dematerialisation we are still restricted by the speed of light for the actual data transfer that occurs during teleportation. In other words, with dematerialisation teleportation, once all your atoms have been scanned, the information contained within them still needs to be sent to the teleportation destination and the fastest possible way of doing that will be limited by the speed of light.

This is not too much of a problem on planet Earth. Considering light travels at approximately 671 million miles per hour, teleportation would still seem a pretty fair alternative to catching the bus in most circumstances. Technically, this is not instantaneous transport though. You would have to start teleporting between planets to really notice the delay, but there’s a hair here so let’s do our best to split it. Let’s say you wanted to teleport to Mars. It would take a tortoise like three minutes to get there at the speed of light, assuming the best case scenario of Mars being on its closest trajectory to Earth. By using inter-dimensional travelling it is theoretically possible to travel faster than the speed of light, due to the different constant natures of the hypothetical parallel universes.

The only tiny problem with this inter-dimensional theory is that it is all a load of complete bunkum. It’s a bit like deciding to travel to Mars by flying on the back of a hippogriff which you grew from a bag of magic beans. It’s a nice idea in theory, but no matter how many prize cows you sell, you never seem to get the beans that do the business. I’m happy to be proved wrong, but this method should stay firmly in the comic books until any resonance of scientific proof is found to support the notion of this farcical approach to teleportation.

Is That a Worm in Your Pocket?

Which brings us zipping to our last method of teleportation. This involves manipulating theoretical tunnels in space known as wormholes.

In 1916, Einstein wrote his general theory of relativity, which still stands today as the current description of gravitation in modern physics. Einstein and his scientist pal Nathan Rosen later expanded on this theory to show that the Universe employed a curved-space structure and proved beyond a shadow of my personal mathematical idiocy that it was theoretically possible to join two distant regions of space through a tunnel-like curved spatial shortcut. That’s a wormhole to you and me.

Disappointingly, wormholes are not caused by gigantic grubs wriggling their way through space and time, but rather describe the tunnel like effect of linking distant points of the Universe while mucking around with four or more dimensions. The entrance to a wormhole would apparently look much like a black hole in space. If you managed to find (or create) a traversable wormhole then it could effectively swallow you in one end and spit you out the other end so fast that light would actually be quite embarrassed when it finally caught up with you.

The problem with wormholes is, even if they do exist, they would be extremely difficult to stabilise. Most wormholes would simply collapse too quickly for anything to cross from one end to the other. It wouldn’t be much fun to go travelling through a galactic wormhole only to have the whole thing crumple on you half way through. It would make the disintegration part of dematerialisation teleportation look like being tickled with a fluffy piece of cotton wool.

Death by black-hole would definitely not be pretty. You would potentially be stretched out like a long piece of string, starting anywhere from your toes to your head and the whole agonising process could last for what felt like an infinity of time. Those cheerful mad scientists have actually made up a name for this ghastly demise; rather aptly they have coined the phrase spaghettification to describe the effect. It doesn’t bear thinking about exactly what constitutes the accompanying Bolognese sauce.

In theory then, wormholes are a great way to teleport around the universe, assuming you can work out a way to stablise them and also prevent yourself from being crushed to death by the awesome gravitational forces implicit in their design. In practice though, despite being predicted in Einstein’s equations and proved in theory by clever scientists such as Karl Schwarzschild, they still have not been discovered in any practical sense and would likely be located deep in space if they do actually exist. For our immediate purposes then, it must sadly be concluded that they are not particularly useful.

Hyper-Jump to the End

So to conclude this jaunty little trip through extra-dimensional space, hopefully it is clear that there are three potential options available for you to explore in your quest to become a budding new teleporter. I won’t lie to you, there are one or two issues to be ironed out depending on which approach you decide to favour, but I’m sure you’re up to the challenge.

I hope you’ve found this article extremely useful, but if not, please feel free to register your complaints at my extra-dimensional office in Alpha Centauri, a mere 4.37 light years away. Thanks.

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Geraldine martinez 

        2 weeks ago

        Hi my name is geraldine i wish i had someone to touch me how to tp my family always puting pressure on me sometime i need spaces to breath and if i have power to tp i well help people

      • profile image

        Agentsquirrel 

        3 weeks ago

        I would have liked teleportation as I would have used it to help people out but it just seems so impossible.

        Perhaps if i had somebody to teach me how to teleport, life would have been way cooler but perhaps i just have a silly life without free falling from the sky and directly landing into a pool

      • profile image

        Cool random dude 

        4 weeks ago

        Teleportation Huh? What about time travel?

      • profile image

        brwntwn123 

        2 months ago

        Does anyone wanna learn psychic powers for non selfish and non bad reasons? You guys all sound like little kids

      • profile image

        lalala 

        2 months ago

        No one knows any grammar. I am sad. And teleporting, you have to go to a different dimension.

      • profile image

        Goku 

        2 months ago

        if any yous can teleport prove me, teleport to me, just to show this is really impassible and i join with yous

      • profile image

        Mr Secular 

        4 months ago

        I have figured it out and it is 100% foolproof. If you are planning to travel to China, I have found somebody who is a priest for a religion that nobody knows about but is the key to teleportation. He will teach you the ways and you will be able to teleport after that. That is all I can say because I do not want to destroy the secret that is teleportation.

      • profile image

        fortnite king 

        4 months ago

        Am going to make teleporting real watch me no joke

      • profile image

        kevin 

        5 months ago

        There is more to know then to see

      • profile image

        Mandy 

        5 months ago

        Hi. Be careful what you wish for. Don’t use it for bad. I am still learning though (because I know how to somehow), I would not trash up a place. Don’t guys. Just don’t. I mean don’t rob banks and go into ladies lockers. It’s not nice. It’s not wise. Don’t ruin your life.

      • profile image

        Jayden allen moffitt 

        5 months ago

        I wont to teleport

      • profile image

        DeSmallPotato 

        6 months ago

        well its to long to read but if i did finnaly get teliportation i would tp to my best online friend!

      • profile image

        mr.ewelex 

        6 months ago

        i know if how to teleport but is too hard.....before i make teleport....i have sick feeling and wierd feeling...........dont give up give guys...:)

      • profile image

        trish 

        7 months ago

        I want to try today how to teleport now now if I cn pls just to day

      • profile image

        Moun 

        7 months ago

        Hi ,how can I teleport? I like it since I was young.So help me.it is my goal.

      • profile image

        MrTKennedy1981 

        7 months ago

        Places to hit up if this WOULD HAVE worked:

        1. Bank of America

        2. Ladies lockerrooms

        3. Bank cash vaults

        Omg, lol, the fun to be had...

      • profile image

        Charles 

        8 months ago

        I tried but always end up having a headache

      • profile image

        Lizzy 

        8 months ago

        Too long didn't read

        And if I did it wouldn't have worked

      • profile image

        Darrel 

        8 months ago

        Hay good text keep trying

      • boo77boo profile image

        brian 

        9 months ago from uk

        You would have to be a very special human to teleport a like the the tomorrow people mind you it be a cool way to travel

      • profile image

        momand 

        10 months ago

        so confused

      • profile image

        Anna 

        10 months ago

        It worked

      • profile image

        Charlie Joey Tribbiani also known as Charlie 

        10 months ago

        I want to teleport so i can play fortnite even though i know teleportation doesnt exsist it is useless this website

      • profile image

        Perdeep 

        11 months ago

        I have teleporting details but not give you

      • profile image

        Jayden 

        11 months ago

        Horrible and terrible

      • profile image

        T boy 

        11 months ago

        I can teleport

      • profile image

        Kendrick Giddins 

        12 months ago

        I can teleport

      • profile image

        Mollie 

        13 months ago

        Tooooooo muuuch to read

      • profile image

        samrat ashok 

        13 months ago

        i can't able to teleport

      • profile image

        Yung Nigga 

        13 months ago

        Are you rarded?

      • profile image

        Max 

        14 months ago

        oh really?

      • profile image

        alfe 

        14 months ago

        i got a real teleportation wow

      • profile image

        Anand raj 

        15 months ago

        My life is in danger I'm of age 14 some people take me here far away from my house and planning to smuggle me .

        But they are showing me that they are good person they give me this phone for entertainment. I have heard these things stealthily from them

      • profile image

        Heino 

        15 months ago

        Our pulses have to harmonize with the frequency. Measuring TSC with our electrical understanding of Quarks is not yet an art form.

      • profile image

        A Wise One 

        15 months ago

        So, as you all may know, our bodies atoms are "electric." Meaning that our atoms have a current in which makes our atoms move. This is how we live. Our entire body is an electrical current. So, if our body gains enough electrical energy, all of our atoms could vibrate fast enough where they can jump to a different location: Teleportation. Now I'm not saying to go out and get struck by lightning but this is a very valid theory. If somehow, we could generate enough energy and get our atoms to jump from one spot to another, we could teleport. Now whether or not this ever happens, it's something to think about. Say I get struck by lightning and live... At the point of the strike, an immense amount of electricity is being absorbed by your body. If this energy could be absorbed correctly, and constantly, then teleportation is in sight. Now this would take centuries to figure out, but it does seem like a real possibility. If anyone has seen the movie Jumper, then you definitely think about this. Back to the point, I think it is possible to be able to teleport, just not yet. If anyone has any input to this, please respond.

      • profile image

        alleyne 

        15 months ago

        Not bad have to admit i love hogwarts

      • profile image

        landon 

        15 months ago

        i wanted to teleport into tv's to meet karai in tmnt to kiss her.

      • profile image

        James kimble 

        15 months ago

        I want to teleport to bank vault and back with money

      • profile image

        Bobby Banson 

        15 months ago

        How do i get back home?

      • profile image

        Lincoln 

        16 months ago

        guys. help me I want to teleport

      • profile image

        Brystal Welty 

        16 months ago

        Sooooo this is to much to read.

      • profile image

        Phomolo 

        16 months ago

        I tryed to teleport but is not working

      • profile image

        Sakura 

        17 months ago

        How can I teleport??

      • profile image

        Poop 

        17 months ago

        No teloportation

      • profile image

        Gunny 

        17 months ago

        How can I Teleport

      • profile image

        kelly 

        18 months ago

        i teleported

      • profile image

        mae 

        18 months ago

        Ok can someone please explain to me how i can teleport this is so confusing. I am a starchild and i need to know

      • profile image

        I want to teleport to Hawaii but it doesn’t work 

        18 months ago

        I really want to teleport to Hawaii but unfortunately I can’t because the person that said this is a dirty liar but try telekinesis it does work.!!!

      • profile image

        Mexican 

        18 months ago

        I need to teleport across the border

      • profile image

        harry 

        18 months ago

        It works !!!

      • profile image

        Bill 

        19 months ago

        If I can levitate water I think I can teleport

      • profile image

        Blabla 

        19 months ago

        What ways can u teleport?

      • profile image

        Sarah 

        20 months ago

        How do you teleport

      • profile image

        bryan 

        20 months ago

        Is this true i havent tryed this out yet

      • profile image

        Icecreamqueenee 

        20 months ago

        I just want to teleport to my favourite youtubers house. Nothing i try is working. I really want teleportation. I really trusted this dude.

      • profile image

        Lollypop 

        20 months ago

        It doesn't work

      • profile image

        Stacy :) 

        21 months ago

        I know it's not impossible, but I mastered watching myself sleep :) also, I can do other things on a small scale

      • profile image

        Spencer Weyz 

        21 months ago

        Thnks 4 that hub but how do i start.What steps should i follow

      • profile image

        Boy Tikol 

        21 months ago

        I once teleported to the year 2035 not actually teleportation but time travel lol.

      • profile image

        some random person 

        22 months ago

        i did teleport once, but i did nothing

      • profile image

        problematic least-fave 

        22 months ago

        okay but i gotta teleport right now, buggo. gotta teleport halfway across the US please

      • profile image

        DA REAL HEROBRINE 

        23 months ago

        I really teleported to France in world war two

      • profile image

        dreamer 

        23 months ago

        I wanna teleport to my home please let me learn it

      • profile image

        Prince 

        24 months ago

        I want to teleport

      • profile image

        Jaleel 

        24 months ago

        how to get information to my email

      • profile image

        Unknown 

        2 years ago

        I want teleport but cant.

        Why?

      • profile image

        Alakazam 

        2 years ago

        Why can't I telaport

      • profile image

        mm 

        2 years ago

        full process plz

      • profile image

        Kemar 

        2 years ago

        How to teleport your self

      • profile image

        me 

        2 years ago

        telekinesis could be possible through switching dimensions. for example dream is -1dimension and when u are in a dream it seems real but when you woke up we just leave it saying its just a dream. however the real world is 1 dimension(example) then the supernatural would be natural for the people in 2 dimension. please make a essay on it for better understanding

      • profile image

        Spka 

        2 years ago

        I hope one day with can teleport

      • profile image

        Brandon Williams 

        2 years ago

        I wonder how it feels to teleport maybe cold or warm?

      • profile image

        unknown 

        2 years ago

        Burongnan 2017 was the year..it has begins..it begin..

      • profile image

        Frisk the Human 

        2 years ago

        I just wanna teleport in case I have a bad time, so I can get away from that big fight. also because of the alphabetti thing

        *sans giggle intifies by the second*

      • profile image

        anonymousname 

        2 years ago

        I think that teleportation is real by converting your mass into energy and then travel in speed of light and tehn convert the energy back into mass.

      • profile image

        Dead 

        2 years ago

        The end of the world!

      • profile image

        zoya 

        2 years ago

        if i would be able to teleport i would go everywhere.hope science and the scientists make a way out to finally give us the way to teleport.till then our journey continues to be by cars.if teleportation was possible there would probaby be traffic and we would seldom see car companies earning.

      • profile image

        batman 

        2 years ago

        i want to teleport

      • profile image

        2 years ago

        Has any body have good feedback on this site I really want to know how to teleport cause I want to get to places easily.

      • profile image

        Henry Manning 

        2 years ago

        I can't teleport at this time so I not the person to instruct anyone on this but I practice every night going to sleep and also upon awaking . I try to practice what I think will cause me to teleport. Some with hypnosis and suggestion. I try to add something new or change something every day looking for the way to accomplish my desired results. The only thing I sure of is you must fill yourself with light. More than you have ever done.and raise your vibrations to a higher level than ever before. How I don't know I not there yet

      • profile image

        namruk 

        3 years ago

        i know how to teleport but the problem i can't make it to work but in my mind i know...but i can't make it to work...........

      • profile image

        sanober 

        3 years ago

        Hi when i want to do teleportation how i can start?

      • profile image

        smaw 

        3 years ago

        can teleport be Learnt by anybody ?

      • profile image

        senzo 

        3 years ago

        can teleport be Learnt by anybody ?

      • profile image

        KuKuYeonG 

        3 years ago

        it is for real?? i want to be too teleport.. but how ? :) please help me :D thanks

      • profile image

        angelinecaram 

        3 years ago

        I really love to teleport to travel in the world and spend my life with happy memories....i hope some day teleportation will be true........:)

      • Amber Lara Meyer profile image

        Amber Lara Meyer 

        3 years ago

        I read all of this in like, ten minutes, which really says something lmao! You explained this in such a way that made me laugh me ass off for starters, and it was very clearly explained too. I love this article. I'm still laughing haha

      • profile image

        Emjhay naguit 

        3 years ago

        Please let me know how I van do it.

      • profile image

        Izo1212 

        3 years ago

        love moon, how can i teleport from one location to another

      • profile image

        Henry Manning 

        3 years ago

        I believe it is and has been done people for a long time. I don't know if it is taught anywhere It has been done by masters in places on the earth. It has been done by accident from time to time in history. It has been documented. It has been written in the 5 vol . set of books The Teaching of the Masters of the Far East. There is also cases of saints that Teleported. It just too many cases. It also talked about in several religions. The scanning the cells like Scientist is trying to put on us is bull.

      • profile image

        Nishant 

        4 years ago

        Is that some thing about meditation

      • profile image

        myster0ious girl 

        4 years ago

        The Inter-Dimensional Traveling article is true except for the last part. You CAN travel by using that method but the ones whom made that article didn't include how. because i have done it. I did not completely succeed to the point of being teleported because it takes a lot of mind energy.

        But therefore that theory does work.

        I closed my eyes and focused all of my energy into my core and i projected that energy to flow around me and that was when my room started being sucked away ( from what it appeared to me ) into space. That was when I realized i was also being pulled through the universe and time to another dimension. (this is not a lie this is really what happened)

      • profile image

        love moon 

        5 years ago

        first you must die in your mind/detach from your body and enter the death space....then consciously journey through it

      • profile image

        elias 

        5 years ago

        Am i ganna teleport

      • profile image

        demetria novianti 

        5 years ago

        is that real ?

      • profile image

        Damian666har 

        5 years ago

        I have actually teleported a number of times I love my trips to science lab I just take the blue pill and I can go we're ever I want and the red sends me back not ventured far yet only London and the lakes goin to go to the Great Wall of china next time now that will be a trip and a half what do you think all u space cadets :0)-

      • profile image

        Tony10151 

        5 years ago

        Teleporting is real because slenderman can teleport but Slendy is fake :(

      • profile image

        bryan 

        5 years ago

        i want to learn how to teleport since this is my dream to travel anywhere in the world even at least once in my life.

        this is what im waiting please help me.

      • profile image

        jyothis sivaprasad 

        5 years ago

        it's only an optical illusion playing with our eye's disabilities you can search about the disabilities of your eyes that's noy known to you as our eye is an optical instrument

      • profile image

        Jimmy 

        6 years ago

        I have dreamed those dreams which i dream many dreams. when i had my first dream and woke up but i was dreaming, and then later at night i went back to sleep and i dreamed about the dream i dreamed and woke up i was in other world and i went back to sleep later and i dreamed but when i wake up i thought my dream is done nope i am on fourth world of my dream i had to go back where i was and i almost lost it should have had brought my marshmallow and drop on ground each time i dream but its no fun part of going back to normal reality every time i wake up in dream i thought it was real but i realized i was dreaming when i wake up and its so hard to wake up until someone wakes me up then whole four dream immediate abort. do i ever want to go back ? well need i say study more on those technique and empowered how to use mind skill to challenges without anyone wake me up. thats why i am here to read and study figure it out about teleporting.

      working

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