How to Teleport for Beginners

If you’re anything like me, you will have spent many a futile hour day-dreaming about teleportation. How cool would it be to transport ourselves huge distances quicker than it takes to shake a lamb’s tail? No more tedious car journeys, no more mind numbing train travel and best of all, no more mingling with the obnoxious hoi polloi in crowded airports. If I could teleport, I’d zap myself everywhere in a blink. Zap out of bed to the car in the morning, zap back when I realise I have no clothes on, zap into the shower, zap into some funky clothes and finally zap myself directly to the shops as it dawns on me that I don’t need the useless junk of automotive metal my sleep befuddled brain first zapped me into when I woke up.

So how can I make my dreams (and perhaps yours) a reality? Well fortunately for all of us, crazy mad scientists the whole world over are even now dreaming up new ways of twisting the very laws of physics to enable us to transport ourselves almost instantaneously to our destinations, or if not instantly at least as fast as the speed of light.

This (admittedly scientifically naïve) article will show you the popular methods which you can employ to realise your full travelling potential. So without further ado, here are the best ways currently hypothesised to cheat the laws of distance related physics:

Dematerialisation, or how to lose lots of weight instantly:

First up is the oh-so-fun sounding dematerialisation. In this particular game of astral roulette, the mad scientist will place you on (or possibly in) some kind of machine designed to scan the properties and position of every single atom in your grotesque/sublime (delete as applicable) body. Once all the atoms are scanned the data will be sent to a remote location where the atoms will be reformed using whatever handy molecules happen to be nonchalantly kicking around. Make no mistake though, there are lots of these little atomic critters in your body which need to be copied, roughly 10 to the power of 28 atoms, which despite the deceptively small sounding integers is actually quite a mind bogglingly large number. The net result is a new “you” formed at the destination which is an exact copy of the original “you”.

There’s always a catch however and this method comes with a bloody great big whale hook. In order to scan your body down to the atomic level in this manner, it requires your original beautiful self to be completely destroyed. Utterly annihilated in fact, which is a sure fire way to ruin anyone’s afternoon. This is in part due to something called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Heisenburg was a German physicist born in 1901 and was generally acknowledged by other scientists to be a pretty clever chap. His work in quantum physics led him to assert his Uncertainty Principle which basically states that it’s impossible to know both the exact position and exact velocity of an object at the same time. This is a bit of a bugger for the mad teleportation scientists who need to know the exact position and velocity of each atom in your body so they can recreate them precisely at the teleportation destination. Unfortunately the more you try to scan an atom, the more it is disrupted by the scanning process, until it is completely changed and the information derived from it is useless. This is a bit like trying to apologise to your upset girlfriend when you have no idea why she is actually in a strop. The more you try to find out how you made her angry, the worse the overall situation gets, until eventually your evening disintegrates.

All tangled up:

Fortunately there is an answer to this particular conundrum, but it took three very clever scientists to figure it out. The Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen effect was put forward by Albert Einstein, Boris Podolsky and Nathan Rosen. It describes a unique effect of quantum physics where two particles can become entangled such that when the properties of one change it automatically affects the properties of the other. So by entangling objects it is possible to scan just enough information from the original atom to then be able to garner the remaining un-scanned information from another entangled atom. The original atom is still completely destroyed by the scanning process, but the combination of information from both entangled atoms is sent to the destination location for reforming into a perfect replica. If this makes no sense at all then think back to the original girlfriend analogy. With entanglement it is analogous to me doing something wrong and my girlfriend instantly knowing about it wherever I am and wherever she is. My wrongdoings and my girlfriend’s uncanny ability to detect them are then passed in exact replica to every other female in my life, most notably my mother. This is a clearly proven scientific phenomenon which explains my total inability to get away with anything even remotely considered inappropriate by the women in my life.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee:

As far fetched as dematerialisation teleportation might sound, it is actually the only method which has been successfully demonstrated in a mad scientific laboratory to date. In 1998 mad scientists in California successfully teleported a photon of light a whopping one metre across their lab, creating an exact replica of the photon and destroying the original photon as predicted. Everyone was really impressed until someone pointed out they could have just flicked the light switch on instead. Similarly in 2002 an Australian team of mad scientists successfully teleported a laser beam several metres across their laboratory which, while not advancing us much closer to human teleportation, is still infinitely cooler than the Californian experiment due to involving laser beams. Most recently however, in 2006 some proper mad scientists in Denmark managed to successfully teleport information stored in a laser beam into a cloud of atoms at the teleportation destination. This is pretty cool as it shows for the first time teleportation at least partly involving matter.

The big debate however for dematerialisation teleportation is whether or not you would be the same person coming out of the teleport machine as the person that rather stupidly went in. The fact that the original “you” has to be destroyed in order to create a replica “you” does not get away from the fact that the new “you” is basically a copy of the original. This copy is nonetheless a perfect copy, containing all the thoughts and memories of the person that went into the machine, but can this really be classed as the same person? It would take a brave or possibly foolish soul to step into a teleport machine in England with the knowledge that they will be roasted alive by a giant laser while a copy of them steps out of a booth in America. This form of teleportation via disintegration does not seem to constitute continuity of existence from any practical perspective. Then there’s the whole religious debate. I’m not going to open this particular can of worms too far in this hub, rather if you indulge me; we’ll just take a sneaky peek under the lid. I would not be comfortable to argue that all the atoms in our body constitute the sum total of our existence. There may well be something “else” that makes each and every one of us unique and I’m not sure that special something would be preserved or transferred to the duplicate “you”. In short, while dematerialisation teleportation is potentially a practical possibility, I’m not going to be signing myself up for the ultimate sun-bed anytime soon.

Inter-dimensional travelling:

Fortunately, there are alternative methods of teleportation potentially available for those of us unwilling to be ripped apart atom by atom and one of these methods is known as inter-dimensional travelling. This rather handy hypothesis involves postulating that there are a potentially infinite number of parallel universes or other dimensions which we could theoretically travel to. The idea is you find a way to break into the extra dimensional space where it is likely time and space would be significantly distorted in relation to our Universe. You simply take advantage of that distortion to travel a short distance in the extra plane of existence before re-entering our Universe thousands of miles from your original location. Easy, huh? This method potentially gets us around another problem inherent in our dematerialisation solution, namely that with dematerialisation we are still restricted by the speed of light for the actual data transfer that occurs during teleportation. In other words, with dematerialisation teleportation, once all your atoms have been scanned, the information contained within them still needs to be sent to the teleportation destination and the fastest possible way of doing that will be limited by the speed of light.

This is not too much of a problem on planet Earth. Considering light travels at approximately 671 million miles per hour, teleportation would still seem a pretty fair alternative to catching the bus in most circumstances. Technically, this is not instantaneous transport though. You would have to start teleporting between planets to really notice the delay, but there’s a hair here so let’s do our best to split it. Let’s say you wanted to teleport to Mars. It would take a tortoise like three minutes to get there at the speed of light, assuming the best case scenario of Mars being on its closest trajectory to Earth. By using inter-dimensional travelling it is theoretically possible to travel faster than the speed of light, due to the different constant natures of the hypothetical parallel universes. The only tiny problem with this inter-dimensional theory is that it is all a load of complete bunkum. It’s a bit like deciding to travel to Mars by flying on the back of a hippogriff which you grew from a bag of magic beans. It’s a nice idea in theory, but no matter how many prize cows you sell, you never seem to get the beans that do the business. I’m happy to be proved wrong, but this method should stay firmly in the comic books until any resonance of scientific proof is found to support the notion of this farcical approach to teleportation.

Is that a worm in your pocket?

Which brings us zipping to our last method of teleportation.  This involves manipulating theoretical tunnels in space known as wormholes.  In 1916 Einstein wrote his general theory of relativity, which still stands today as the current description of gravitation in modern physics.  Einstein and his scientist pal Nathan Rosen later expanded on this theory to show that the Universe employed a curved-space structure and proved beyond a shadow of my personal mathematical idiocy that it was theoretically possible to join two distant regions of space through a tunnel-like curved spatial shortcut.  That’s a wormhole to you and me.  Disappointingly, wormholes are not caused by gigantic grubs wriggling their way through space and time, but rather describe the tunnel like effect of linking distant points of the Universe while mucking around with four or more dimensions.  The entrance to a wormhole would apparently look much like a black hole in space.  If you managed to find (or create) a traversable wormhole then it could effectively swallow you in one end and spit you out the other end so fast that light would actually be quite embarrassed when it finally caught up with you. 

The problem with wormholes is, even if they do exist, they would be extremely difficult to stabilise.  Most wormholes would simply collapse too quickly for anything to cross from one end to the other.  It wouldn’t be much fun to go travelling through a galactic wormhole only to have the whole thing crumple on you half way through.  It would make the disintegration part of dematerialisation teleportation look like being tickled with a fluffy piece of cotton wool.  Death by black-hole would definitely not be pretty.  You would potentially be stretched out like a long piece of string, starting anywhere from your toes to your head and the whole agonising process could last for what felt like an infinity of time.  Those cheerful mad scientists have actually made up a name for this ghastly demise; rather aptly they have coined the phrase spaghettification to describe the effect.  It doesn’t bear thinking about exactly what constitutes the accompanying Bolognese sauce.

In theory then, wormholes are a great way to teleport around the universe, assuming you can work out a way to stablise them and also prevent yourself from being crushed to death by the awesome gravitational forces implicit in their design.  In practice though, despite being predicted in Einstein’s equations and proved in theory by clever scientists such as Karl Schwarzschild, they still have not  been discovered in any practical sense and would likely be located deep in space if they do actually exist.  For our immediate purposes then, it must sadly be concluded that they are not particularly useful.

Hyperjump to the end:

So to conclude this jaunty little trip through extra-dimensional space, hopefully it is clear that there are three potential options available for you to explore in your quest to become a budding new teleporter. I won’t lie to you, there are one or two issues to be ironed out depending on which approach you decide to favour, but I’m sure you’re up to the challenge. I hope you’ve found this hub extremely useful, but if not, please feel free to register your complaints at my extra-dimensional office in Alpha Centauri, a mere 4.37 light years away. Thanks.

Comments 31 comments

Dstiteler profile image

Dstiteler 6 years ago from cypress, Tx

very intresting. I hope teleportation wil lbe possible one day. do you think so? chec out my hubs? (:

Splyt profile image

Splyt 6 years ago Author

Hi Dstiteler, thanks for stopping by! I like to think that teleportation will be possible one day, but then I'm the eternal optimist that expects my pizza to be hot and come with the correct toppings every time I order delivery. If humanity can consistently let me down with such a simple thing then I'm not sure if we should hold our collective breath on our species being able to deliver teleportation in the future, but here's hoping anyway!

Ign Andy profile image

Ign Andy 6 years ago from Green Home Office

I wonder when it happened and how it feels. Converting body mass in time.... You have a great subject!

Splyt profile image

Splyt 6 years ago Author

Hi Ign Andy, it's a good question you ask of how teleportation would feel. I imagine it to be a bit like getting drunk in reverse. My guess is you would start off immediately disorientated, feeling very weird and sick while the universe bends in psychedelic fractal colours around you, until you gradually return to some semblance of normality but with a nagging doubt you just accidently lent your wallet and phone to the nice looking girl with six arms in the other dimension. Cheers for stopping by!

ikinetica 6 years ago

Think this is ridiculous, but i do Teleport easily in dreams and it looks same as flying through spiral energy cloud form similar to time-travel tunnel, i can confirm this experience and similarity with some Physics science evidences. You were not sucked you rather chose to go by your own will and you can stop anytime. It is so great speed that it is not measurable and it is really the instant access to other dimensions. I rather do not speak of it as space portals or visiting parallel Universe, since all of it is happening rather on dimensional level in dreams. To be honest I like those dreams very much. The second thing is floating-standing in something like vacuum space and place is actually particular point of wormhole! Force of gravity does not work there. What i saw is that some wormholes really collapse, but other ones are opening at the same time. Might be Math, Physics and our consciousness are quite connected.

The great thing while Teleport is that you feel specific awareness of being part of everything and everything as being part of you. Let say our existence consist of many other inner World and we are part of many other outer Worlds

PS. Just to mention I have been not aware of my body, simply there is no body, so i did not feel any sickness. You can also meet high energy beings let say they can have six arms and be friendly or less friendly, some are frightening. I met some and managed them with caution or tricks. Cheers! :)

Splyt profile image

Splyt 6 years ago Author

Hi Ikinetica, thanks for posting this fabulous comment. I've got to confess to being extremely jealous, it sounds like you have the most incredible dreams! Teleportation by dream-state is now being added to my top ten list of ways to travel across the universe in style. To be honest, there is so little we know about the universe that anything is possible in my book. Just be careful around those high energy beings, if one offers to take you to a really happening party in the andromeda spiral nebula, it’s probably best to politely decline as getting a taxi home afterwards will definitely be a challenge. Thanks again for taking the time to post your genuinely fascinating thoughts on this subject!

ikinetica profile image

ikinetica 6 years ago

Hi Splyt! What amazes me the most is why and how some of us share same thoughts about same things at the same time. This fact is probably the most significant part of any vision we share in this World. Imagine how many people out there that we are not aware of are also thinking at the same time about the same subject as we do. This leads me to conclusion that we link and connect the same way as points in the Universe are linking and creating wormholes you described above.

Think about Earth with all of us being big unique creation. This whole creation looks like just small part of the bigger picture, so no wonder that we act as linking points the same way as some points in Universe are creating tunnels. No wonder why we can imagine one more world inside our pocket. My personal belief is not about being broken apart to atoms then become materialized again during the process. It won`t lead to exact copy since there is certain "change", something which gives us unique persona as religion would call it"spirit, soul". Finally we need our singularity to be transported through Teleport as well, otherwise we as originals finish at this point.

Since i am not too much into religion, i will not go further. What i believe is that we have a few holograms existing and running in various dimensions at the same time. My idea is that we use teleport rather as energy boost to switch on another hologram, rather than we use it for real travel. It could eventually explain such enormous flight speeds.

My opinion is that we all wonder for some deep reason and many visions come to us through deep observation, from macro to micro level of existence. We get the same point,but we just use different approaches - which amazes me even more. At the end, all those famous scientists look for the source of creation and genesis....and teleportation is one of many possible abilities we probably know from somewhere, but we should have more perfect limbic system to be able to recognize and allow it. For me, dreaming is just one of our many possible realities, so i accepted the message sort of serious way and thus observed it even more in this "awaken" plain daily reality.

From the dream state experience i know there are tremendous speeds of happenings and movements. It is most likely higher than the speed of light. Maybe i should draw some examples with small deviations from what i saw on some scientific examples and compare. The time, at one single point, does not exist.

If you find yourself at single point in vacuum with no gravity force during the teleport, you feel timeless, but...the time starts to exist if we link two points and start moving.

Then, time perception changes during the dream state teleportation and there is significant time distortion. Either you can jump in timeline and handshake with some ancestor or you can scan for possible future. Time in this process is more curved as cycle than in linear form.

I am totally amazed about this subject and it actually lasts from the time in childhood when i saw for the fist time the similarity between atomic structure and our familiar Solar system.

Once i screamed "granny granny i have many many Galaxies inside of me,...listen imagine cell it consists of atoms and atoms looks like Solar system...and solar system looks like small atom of something much bigger....".It was silence than it was laugh. Ok, ok kid i understand you.

If you do not mind i will give a few tips for teleport and visiting random dimensions in dream state, so we can compare and who knows maybe once we can get some clue about entire process

- After enormous speed jump through tunnel and visiting foreign dimension there is certain ability for being invisible or visible only for certain beings, even being frustrated no one has perception about you.

- Not being able to talk, communication is managed only telepathic way.

- I do not know how these dreams can be induced just i feel it needs another vibrational level (you know about experiment where if you let some sound frequency through sand, sand create unusual forms, so you are sort of changing vibration and form of your existence)

- Outside of tunnel view can be 360 degrees which is fantastic

- Any other creatures or forms around have their own intelligence which differs (lucid dream experts would know much more about this)

- I do not know how psychedelic guys see similar, fractals, colors and lights, might be all is connected in the root, just method differs

Same is with you, you do not need to dream since you got quite similar points about Teleport using different method.

Splyt, thank you for openess and accepting my very first post.

Just to add one more time for people who habitually doubts, this was my personal dream state perception of teleportation. Hope to see you soon navigating through wormhole or in some distant destination galaxy. If you eventually get stuck there, do not upset, because time is so could be there for moment or ethernity, whatever you prefere more. I wonder if there is time at all.

Splyt profile image

Splyt 6 years ago Author

Hi Ikinetica, thanks again for posting your spectacular thoughts on this topic. Have you ever considered writing a hub about your dream teleportation experiences? I’m willing to bet there are lots of people out there who would find such a hub fascinating (me included!) and I don’t think a comment section on this hub is doing your visionary talents full justice. I would encourage you to put all of your experiences into a hub and in the meantime I am going to add you to my follow list and avidly wait for the result. Of course, if you take too long to write your hub I may just be forced to dream my way into the future and get a sneak preview of how it all works out! Thanks again, and take care around the psychedelic guys. It all starts off innocently enough, a fractal here a spot of colour there, but before you know it you just can’t reach the end of the inter-galactic wormhole without resorting to popping some refracting light crystals. You’ve been warned!

dil 3 years ago

hey,i actually hate reading,but your facts are actually so interesting that i read all of it.Thanks for sharing.i just wna know,now,do you have a wa of teleporting using your kind of imagination?hmmmm

Jimmy 3 years ago

I have dreamed those dreams which i dream many dreams. when i had my first dream and woke up but i was dreaming, and then later at night i went back to sleep and i dreamed about the dream i dreamed and woke up i was in other world and i went back to sleep later and i dreamed but when i wake up i thought my dream is done nope i am on fourth world of my dream i had to go back where i was and i almost lost it should have had brought my marshmallow and drop on ground each time i dream but its no fun part of going back to normal reality every time i wake up in dream i thought it was real but i realized i was dreaming when i wake up and its so hard to wake up until someone wakes me up then whole four dream immediate abort. do i ever want to go back ? well need i say study more on those technique and empowered how to use mind skill to challenges without anyone wake me up. thats why i am here to read and study figure it out about teleporting.

jyothis sivaprasad 3 years ago

it's only an optical illusion playing with our eye's disabilities you can search about the disabilities of your eyes that's noy known to you as our eye is an optical instrument

bryan 2 years ago

i want to learn how to teleport since this is my dream to travel anywhere in the world even at least once in my life.

this is what im waiting please help me.

Tony10151 2 years ago

Teleporting is real because slenderman can teleport but Slendy is fake :(

Damian666har 2 years ago

I have actually teleported a number of times I love my trips to science lab I just take the blue pill and I can go we're ever I want and the red sends me back not ventured far yet only London and the lakes goin to go to the Great Wall of china next time now that will be a trip and a half what do you think all u space cadets :0)-

demetria novianti 2 years ago

is that real ?

elias 2 years ago

Am i ganna teleport

love moon 2 years ago

first you must die in your mind/detach from your body and enter the death space....then consciously journey through it

myster0ious girl 22 months ago

The Inter-Dimensional Traveling article is true except for the last part. You CAN travel by using that method but the ones whom made that article didn't include how. because i have done it. I did not completely succeed to the point of being teleported because it takes a lot of mind energy.

But therefore that theory does work.

I closed my eyes and focused all of my energy into my core and i projected that energy to flow around me and that was when my room started being sucked away ( from what it appeared to me ) into space. That was when I realized i was also being pulled through the universe and time to another dimension. (this is not a lie this is really what happened)

Nishant 21 months ago

Is that some thing about meditation

Henry Manning 11 months ago

I believe it is and has been done people for a long time. I don't know if it is taught anywhere It has been done by masters in places on the earth. It has been done by accident from time to time in history. It has been documented. It has been written in the 5 vol . set of books The Teaching of the Masters of the Far East. There is also cases of saints that Teleported. It just too many cases. It also talked about in several religions. The scanning the cells like Scientist is trying to put on us is bull.

Izo1212 8 months ago

love moon, how can i teleport from one location to another

Emjhay naguit 5 months ago

Please let me know how I van do it.

Amber Lara Meyer profile image

Amber Lara Meyer 5 months ago

I read all of this in like, ten minutes, which really says something lmao! You explained this in such a way that made me laugh me ass off for starters, and it was very clearly explained too. I love this article. I'm still laughing haha

angelinecaram 4 months ago

I really love to teleport to travel in the world and spend my life with happy memories....i hope some day teleportation will be true........:)

KuKuYeonG 4 months ago

it is for real?? i want to be too teleport.. but how ? :) please help me :D thanks

senzo 3 months ago

can teleport be Learnt by anybody ?

smaw 3 months ago

can teleport be Learnt by anybody ?

sanober 2 months ago

Hi when i want to do teleportation how i can start?

namruk 2 months ago

i know how to teleport but the problem i can't make it to work but in my mind i know...but i can't make it to work...........

Peeenes 8 weeks ago

deeecks taste gooooood

muggy 5 weeks ago

this is bullshit

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