Do Our Loved Ones Stay With Us in Spirit? I Think They Do
Feeling Is Believing
If you have ever lost someone you truly loved, you may feel their presence with you still. Many times they will also be leaving you signs that they are there with you or have called in for a visit. All those strange things that keep happening, in my view, can only add up to one thing: your loved ones are letting you know that they haven't gone for good, but have just stepped out of view for a while.
Sometimes your loved ones will come back to you in vivid dreams. Sometimes you will smell something you associate with them; it could be a whiff of their favorite perfume or aftershave, maybe even pipe tobacco. Other times, You may hear their voice, feel the warmth of their presence, or have the overpowering feeling that they have just walked into the room. Everyone's experiences are different, but my advice is to accept these occurrences with pleasure, not fear. Know it's just their way of trying to let you know you are not alone and that they are with you still.
At first it may be hard to bear the feeling of their presence and not being able to see or touch them, but it will get easier and eventually give you comfort.
For many years now, I have felt the spirit of my late Husband with me, and the love we shared while he was alive is wrapped all around me like a snuggly blanket. I can honestly say that I rarely feel lonely — alone, yes, but there´s a big difference between that and loneliness.
Some People Will Think We Are Crazy
Of course, there will be those who think people who believe in such things are completely crazy, and that we generate these feelings of our departed loved one's presence to make ourselves feel better. I can understand this way of thinking. Let's face it. You either believe in these things or you don't (unless the jury is out and you are sitting on the fence).
It is an undeniable fact that there is no way of proving beyond doubt that these spiritual events do actually happen. But, I believe that once you have felt the presence of your loved one or loved ones, there can be no mistake that they really are with you in spirit.
My own experiences and feelings tell me when my Hearty drops in on a visit. The feeling I get is so strong it's like he has actually just walked into the room.
His Promise to Return
I think my Husband must have been psychic himself as he had seen various spirits throughout his life, both human and animal, and told me he actually felt his departed mother giving him a clip around the ear from time to time when he had done something out of line.
Shortly before his death, he made me the promise that if there was any way he could come back to me he would, and I believe that he does. I often tell people, "Oh, Hearty's just come in," simply because it feels like he has.
By the way, Hearty isn't his real name (just my pet name for him).
I Believe I Felt His Spirit Starting to Cross Over
When there was no denying that he was losing his battle with cancer, I had the strangest feeling that I was shrinking, and that when he died, I would become invisible altogether. I felt like Alice after drinking the shrinking potion, or as a good friend described it, "like that dot that used to appear on TVs when you turned them off way back when we were kids." The dot gradually faded until it disappeared altogether. It was a very strange feeling indeed, as though I was fading away . I have given this a lot of thought over the years and now think that our bond was so strong and our spirits so linked that as his illness progressed he was starting to cross over into the spirit world and my spirit was feeling this journey along with his.
Everyone did say we were soul mates.
His Family in Spirit Came to Take Him by the Hand
On the morning he was admitted into the hospital for what I knew in my heart would be the final time, I clung on to the hope that he would recover. He asked me if there had been anyone else but us in the ambulance. When I replied, "No, just us and the driver," he clearly didn't believe a word of it.
By this time, he was taking Morphine and was weak and confused, but I couldn't help feeling that he was seeing those waiting to take him by the hand to lead him from this life to the next. This feeling became even stronger when he later asked who all the people were standing around his bed.
When he died 5 days later, I found the thought of him passing into the company of loved ones something of a comfort. My feeling was that there were smiling members of his family and friends, maybe even pets, waiting in the light to love him and take his hand when he could no longer feel mine.
After the Battle Comes Peace
Anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer, any cruel and painful disease or illness, or through accident or natural causes will know just how hard a thing it is to get through, both for the sufferer and those around them.
If you have lost a loved one who suffered greatly before dying, your first feeling when they pass can be a mixture of both deep sorrow and relief that they are no longer suffering.
The first time I went along to see my Hearty just after he died, I really didn't think I could go through with seeing him in a coffin. But, my need to just see his face again overrode my fear. Even though he died in my arms, it still took a lot for me to see him again that first visit.
However, I began to realize on subsequent visits that the body I was looking at was just a shell. He wasn't there anymore. This feeling got stronger and stronger until the last visit before his funeral, when I had taken his brother and grown-up children to see him. On that day, I felt for certain he had truly left his body behind. When we later left the viewing room and got out into the sunshine, I had the most overwhelming warm and calming feeling that he was standing right there with us. This was his first visit in spirit. It felt so good, I smiled a huge great smile for the first time since loosing him.
Going Forward Without Him
Of course, even when you can feel your loved one with you, you still have to get through the grieving process. It surely is a long and winding road; take my word for it.
Feeling your loved one's presence during this time can be a bit of a mixed blessing because it can, and often does, make the longing to see them even greater. However, at other times, it can help a huge amount.
Don't forget to accept all the help and comfort offered to you during the grieving process from loved one's on this plane. Find something or some way that will get you up and out of bed every day and keep you engaged. I found I needed to work really really hard and lean on my friends. I got out of the house when it all got too much and found company and distraction. I am lucky in the fact that I have really fantastic friends nearby who stood by me through thick and thin and helped, not only emotionally, but practically too. As my family and my other friends live in another country, it was hard for them to do more than give moral support. Nevertheless, some gave just what was needed. I thank them all.
If you feel you are slipping into depression or anxiety and don't think you can cope, please do go and see your doctor. You can also talk with a bereavement counsellor or contact others in a similar situation. Please don't feel like you have to suffer in silence.
Hello, Hearty. I Know You Are There.
I feel Hearty's presence, like when someone enters a room and says hello. It gives me a kind of warm feeling. I hear his voice in my head too. Not a conversation, but just things he would say. He has also come to me in dreams, and once or twice through mediums.
I had this reading on the first aniversary after his death, and quite honestly, it was so accurate you would have thought the medium had been married to him too.
During another time, it was a really bad day for me. I was holding onto the urn containing his ashes and wailing like a banshee when all of a sudden I felt the top of my hand warming up. It was so noticeable it stopped my crying, and I just sat staring at my hand. I felt sure he had his hand on top of mine, and later, I felt the same warmth across my shoulders. He was giving me a hug.
A number of years ago, I had a breakdown and was suffering very badly with anxiety. Things had been going wrong in almost all aspects of my life, and it got to be too much. I was in a state of constant anxiety and agitation. I wasn't sleeping, I couldn't eat, and I didn't know which way to turn. It got so bad one morning I actually threw up with anxiety; but then a really strange and powerful thing happened. As I was rinsing my face, I stood and stared at myself in the mirror and all of a sudden had this incredible feeling that forces outside of me were taking over and things would change. It was such a powerful feeling that I made circling motions with my hand and said out loud, "I can feel things moving. I know you are there, and I'm going to get through this." For those of you who have never experienced out-of-control anxiety, let me tell you, this is the very last thing you would think.
For me, these events are just more confirmations that my loved one or loved ones were right there with me when I really needed them to be there to help me get back on track.
The Last Word
I know there will be many people out there who believe in the spirit world and our loved ones' ability to come back and help us when we most need them, and many who don't believe.
For the latter, I hope that you can be open-minded enough to at least think, "Well, maybe it can happen," and just maybe you will start to feel the presence of those who have gone on ahead. They are hanging about in the wings waiting to help us out and offer comfort and love.
I dedicate this story to my Darling Hearty. I will love you forever and then some. xx