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Woman Claims She Can Teach Quantum Jumping Timelines

Spoiler alert: it's not how it works on the TV show.

This psychic medium and intuitive tarot reader makes the bold assertion she can teach people to “quantum jump timelines” from their own shower. She says the first thing to do is set aside some uninterrupted time to try it, so make sure no kids or phones are going to interrupt. Before stepping into the shower she says to recite the following: “Upon the completion of this shower I will be stepping into my most abundant timeline that brings me or makes me…” and end with whatever you want to be manifesting into your timeline.  

She then instructs to shower as usual but while soaping and lathering to clearly focus your mind on removing all blocks, all energies, all people, all places, all organizations, all fillings, and all self-sabotaging energy that can hold you back from those manifestations. She suggests imagining all those blocks as the soap running down the drain, far off your body. Once all the soap is gone, turn the water as cold as possible. Before you step into the cold shower of water you should set your intention that the cold shock of the water will shock your system and shock you into the new timeline.

When you step into the water you stay there and take about eight to ten conscious breaths where you are composed and calm and comfortable with the discomfortable cold. When the shock goes away you will know you are in this new timeline. When you cut the water off and prepare to step out of the shower, imagine a portal which you then walk through. As you are drying and getting dressed you are now the embodiment of your new manifestation. 

In physics, a quantum jump is defined as “an abrupt transition of an electron, atom, or molecule from one quantum state to another” and a quantum state is “a mathematical entity that provides a probability distribution for the outcomes of each possible measurement on a system”. Studying these particle interactions requires a great deal of equipment, the most widely known of which is the CERN hadron super collider in Switzerland however, there is a nearly equally impressive electron collider located in Virginia. Jefferson Laboratories also houses the world’s largest liquid helium refrigerator which is used to remove electrical resistance by supercooling the temperature to -452.5 F. Suffice it to say, these things cannot be done in your home shower.

It also can’t hurt to try a cold shower spell to manifest your intentions but probably stop short of buying a seven CD set on the subject. Even the award winning sci-fi classic original Quantum Leap on Blu-ray will give you 97 episodes on a mere eighteen discs for about a third of the price. 

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