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Woman Re-Enacts Funny Things That Happen When You Own a Metaphysical Store

Don't be that guy.

What’s it like owning a metaphysical store? This woman shares one of the many bizarre experiences she’s had. She greeted the shopper, welcoming him in and offered assistance in finding anything he needed. All seemingly normal, until he responded. His opening line? “I don’t know if you can understand the language I’m speaking right now, however I am the Messiah.”  

The strange man proceeds to explain his friends hack into his brain to speak to him, compares his beauty to be greater than the goddess Athena, and that he saw this woman’s energy through the window and simply had to come in. The store owner recreates her reaction by staring at that camera with a look of blank incredulity. He then offered the brain-hacking services of his friends to her personally, claiming they can unlock the answers she wants to know. Despite the tempting offer, she politely declines and asks again if he needed help finding anything, at which point he reveals he does not and only came in because he had to say these things to her.

Many commenters joke about the dangers of comparing beauty with Athena, referencing the Trojan War of Greek mythology. The ancient Greeks attributed the event to a drama of the gods started by Eris, the goddess of discord and chaos, who was left off the invite list of a royal wedding. In retribution, she tossed a golden apple inscribed with “for the most beautiful” into the ceremony. The gods were often known to be fickle and vain, so three goddesses - Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite - argued over who could lay claim to the apple. Zeus didn’t want to get involved, realizing there was no good outcome and pawned the task off on a mortal by the name of Paris.  

Each of the goddesses offered Paris a bribe to choose them as most beautiful, but Aphrodite promised him the love of the most beautiful mortal woman which problematically was an already married woman by the name of Helen. He had to get him some of that Helen though, so he chose Aphrodite as winner of the golden apple which led to a bunch of fighting and some stuff about a giant horse, we all know the rest of the tale.

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