How to Do a House Cleansing After a Breakup

Updated on July 2, 2020
Intuitive Clarity profile image

Allisyn writes about tarot, astrology, angel therapy, aromatherapy, feng shui, interior design, and human and animal behavior.

Clear the air after that break up!
Clear the air after that break up! | Source

How to Do a Cleansing

A house blessing, or what is also called a smudging, is fairly easy to do. Having the right tools and the right intentions are crucial to this very spiritual ritual. A good cleansing will lift or remove energy from your home. When done in the right way and with the right intentions, it can improve not only how you feel, but also how you relate to the people inside and outside of your home.

Every cleansing should start with an overall cleaning. Clean each room that you are wanting to cleanse. Clear clutter, dust, mop, vacuum. It is almost impossible to get a successful cleansing if the rooms are dirty. Start with a clean slate so to speak.

Take your sage stick and light one end of it. Get a good smoke going. Make sure that you have your burning vessel under the lit smudge stick. Use your feather to wave the smoke around with the intention of cleansing the energy. You can say a prayer or intention while you are doing this to solidify what it is that you are wanting to happen. Asking certain angels for assistance is always a good thing to do. There is an angel that specializes in every topic, so asking for that angel's help will only make the cleansing stronger. At the end of every cleansing, give thanks and gratitude to the universe, God, or whatever you believe in for helping with your cleansing.

Items That You Will Need for Cleansing

  • A Sage smudge stick and a Lavender smudge stick. Sage is good to use to clear any energy but especially useful in clearing heavy or negative energy. Lavender is useful for bringing in tranquil and peaceful energy. Lavender is also good for promoting intuition and psychic abilities. You can buy these in any spiritual store or online.
  • A burning vessel. Anything that is safe to use for burning that is easy to carry with you. Large seashells are the most widely used.
  • A feather. You can purchase one online or at a local spiritual store. You may also find your own out in nature. If you happen to see a feather in your path, that would be the perfect one to use.
  • White and green candles. You can choose tealight candles or larger ones. Tealight candles are a good choice. They usually only burn for about three to four hours so you can let them burn out and then throw them away when they are done. Symbolizing removing the energy.

Clear the Negative Breakup Energy

Now that the crying is pretty much over and you have gone through the mad stage, it's time to cleanse the energy in your home. With all of the drama and emotions that you have been going through, it has brought in some pretty heavy energy. You might have even noticed that you are feeling much better when you are out and about but then once you get home, all of a sudden, you feel exhausted and melancholy again. Or even worse, cross with the people in your home for no apparent reason only adding more heavy energy.


For this cleansing, you will need your sage smudge stick and white candles.

If the break-up actually happened in your home, then start cleansing in that room. Paying close attention to the area where you both were at the time. Cleanse the corners and work your way towards the middle of the room. Light a white candle for healing and move onto the next room.

Cleanse your bedroom. Change your sheets and cleanse your bed from the negative energy that you brought into it with crying or random thoughts of your ex before going to sleep. Go through the whole room removing any heavy energy starting with the corners. Light a white candle for healing and move onto the next room.

Cleanse each room starting in the corners and working your way through your entire home. Lighting a white candle for healing when you are done cleansing each room. Do this with the intention of bringing in healthier lighter energy. You can also ask Archangel Raphael to assist you in healing the energy of your home. He is known for his healing abilities and will also help you heal your heart if you ask him to.

It is possible that you may have to repeat this a few times over a couple of weeks to get the energy to feel light again. Especially if there were a lot of arguments that happened in your home. You will know when the energy feels healthy again by how you feel when you first walk into your home or certain rooms. It might just be the bedroom that still feels heavy to you so that would be a room that you would want to repeat the cleansing in.

Yes, everything!
Yes, everything!

Cleanse Your Ex Away

Once you have your energy in the house feeling healthier and lighter, now it's time to remove your ex's energy. This includes any reminders of him/her. There is nothing worse than starting to feel like yourself again and then you find yourself running into constant reminders of him/her in your home. You don't have to throw everything away that reminds you of your ex. Especially if it was a gift that you can use or love. I'll go more into that in a minute.

The best time to do this ritual, or any ritual that involves releasing, is during a full moon. Full moons are all about releasing and letting go. Using the assistance of the moon, will give your ritual a nice powerful boost.


For this ritual, you will need your lavender stick and green candles. If you were unable to find a lavender smudge stick, then you can substitute a lavender incense stick.

Organizing and Eliminating Your Ex's Stuff

Go through all of the rooms and look at what is there that is a reminder of your ex. Start three piles. One is a throw away, one is a give away, and the last one is keep. If you like, you can have another one for sending back to your ex.

Did your ex leave anything behind like toiletries? It's perfectly fine to throw them away. Chances are they are not coming back for a toothbrush or shaving cream. They have purchased new by now. If it is something that would just be mean to throw away, then send it to them. If they bought you something that you use like a small appliance or electronic and you can afford to buy new then give it away to someone who needs it. Do you love it (a piece of jewelry or a book), then it should be in your keep pile, When it comes to pictures, tuck them away where you don't have to see them.

For the things that you are keeping, cleanse them with your smudge stick. Have the intention of removing your ex's energy with love. If it is something that you use and see daily, then spend a little extra time cleansing that piece.

Now that you have removed all of the reminders, go through the house and start to cleanse with your lavender/sage stick. Start with the bedroom and work your way throughout the house. Once again starting in the corners and working your way to the center of the room and into the next. If there was a favorite chair or spot that your ex used to gravitate towards, make sure to cleanse that chair or side of the sofa. Definitely cleanse their side of the bed. Light a green candle for renewal in each room before going to the next.

Cleanse everything with a firm but a loving release intention. Removing the energy of your ex is for your comfort and to create a healthy energy in your personal space. It isn't meant to be malicious or mean at all. This is different from throwing their clothes out of the window because you are mad. Release the energy of your ex with their greater good as well as your own in mind.

Say a prayer of gratitude to the universe for assisting you with releasing the energy of your ex.

A good angel to use for releasing is Archangel Michael. He is the chord cutter and if you ask for his assistance, he will cut the energy chords of your ex in the house for you. If you ask, he can also lovingly cut the chords between you and your ex.

It Happened for a Reason

Going through a break-up with someone that you have been with for a long period of time is hard. Even if you were the one to call it quits, it's still a loss and a life adjustment. It is important to remember that all relationships, good or bad, happened for a reason. To teach a lesson or to clear up some past karmic bond. Look at it as acquired wisdom for your next relationship.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.


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    • profile image


      4 weeks ago

      Are you people serious???? A CLEANSING after a breakup???? THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!


    • profile image

      Rod Bouv 

      14 months ago

      Hi Besumbuule,

      Follow the instructions to be found here:

      The ceremony is an ancient rite practiced by indigenous peoples for thousands of years and should be respected as such.

      I crumple up dried sage into my vessel ( I have an abalone shell) and it is preferred that it be lit with a wooden match. Shake the match out. The ceremony must be treated as sacred and the intent must come from your heart.

      I have never used a sage stick, but they appear to burn well. If you use crumpled sage you must fan it with the feather to keep it smouldering. I was fortunate to receive an eagle feather from an Ojibwe Elder as a gift.

      Smudge yourself first. As you do this imagine that you are cleansing yourself of negative energy. Put your smudge vessel down and lean over it and "wash" yourself. Cup the smoke and waft it over your body. You don't actually have to rub your hands over your body, just pass the smoke over it.

      When you have finished smudging yourself, begin smudging your home.

      As you smudge with the smoke speak out loud your intention of removing negative energy and spirits from your home. " I am cleansing my home of negative energy, only positive energy is to stay. Evil spirits begone. you are not welcome here." Or something similar. Make the prayer your own but feel it from your heart.

      It is important to mean it from your heart as you do this. Fan the smoke through every corner of your home including closets and cupboards. Once done, take the ashes and remove them from your home and discard safely on bare earth.

      Sweet grass calls in positive energy and spirits. Light the sweet grass tie and wave it to keep it smouldering. This time you speak aloud and ask positive energy and spirits to come into your home. The prayer is personal and must come from your heart. Smudge your entire home as you smudged with the sage to remove the negativity.

      Reverently dispose of the ashes on bare ground returning it to "Mother Earth".

      I wish you peace and happiness.

      Good luck!

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Am highly interested but I don't known how to start,can some one help me? Because am confused!

    • Intuitive Clarity profile imageAUTHOR

      Allisyn Nichols 

      2 years ago from Texas

      Hello Wheezie!

      Yes always have some sage around. Try different ones but I do like to have some lavender on hand at all times. Yes you can use an eagle feather or just wave your hand to spread the smoke around. Just go through the house and spread the smoke around in each room. Always with the intention of removing any negative energy and letting the positive energy flow.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      how do I being to smudge my own place and keep the negative out of my own home and do I need stock up sage smudge with lavender, sage and along with a eagle feather to help with the smudging of my own home.


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