Renee Abbott has spent almost five decades as a spiritual counselor, psychic, and medium. A1 Psychic Radio has hosted her show in the past.
The Dance of the Lovers and the Devil
We all at one time have done the tangle with the Lovers and the Devil of the tarot. Are you doing this dance now? This article will help you see if you are, and it will also show you how to stop this insanity. If you discover you are entangled with both the Lovers and Devil, you are probably seeking a way to get out of this vicious cycle.
My Background and Personal Experience
I have been a professional tarot and psychic advisor for forty years. I often see this negative cycle when dealing with relationship questions from my clients, and I too have done this dance. It was through my own experiences that I learned how to successfully jump off this relationship merry-go-round.
The Common Theme Between the Lovers and the Devil
These two cards, the Lovers and the Devil, have one common theme—choice. This choice refers to the way in which we choose to love. Will we seek to learn how to love unconditionally or with conditions? In essence, will our expression of love be that of enslavement or freedom? Is there another way to approach a relationship?
The Lovers and Devil do not stay only in the area of romantic love and can impact many types of love. This article is predominantly about romantic love, but the advice within is easily applicable to other avenues of it.
The Dance of the Devil
The Devil characteristics include all or some of the following traits: possessiveness, obsessiveness, victimhood, martyrdom, jealousy, and delusion. Throughout my forty years as a psychic consultant, it has become very clear to me how the majority of people fall into the Devil category with regards to their questions concerning romantic love.
These questions are often concerned with when a loved one will come back or when the relationship will move to the next level. The Lovers and Devil tarot cards indicate the type of behavior pattern that is playing out with each client. This becomes more evident with those who have been waiting a long period—usually over a year—for a person to come back or change.
What Are the Behavior Patterns Here?
When doing a reading for this type of client, I will observe the following behaviors:
- Mental and emotional attachment to the person they are interested in.
- The belief that they must have this person or else life is not worth living.
- Obsessive thinking that induces more fear.
- Their vision of utopia with a person. Does it increase the merry-go-round effect?
Obsession creates ugly patterns, which I have witnessed often over these decades. The client will need to feed their obsession quickly, so they may seek one psychic after another to get their fix. We know this cannot help anyone—except to lessen their fear temporarily, so they can dwell in the land of make-believe.
Living in the Last Chapter of Your Story
I wish to comment on another scenario, which I have titled: "living in the last chapter of your story." If the client is told that there is a good chance for this relationship to work out—but that first they must make some changes—this revelation is often contorted by the client.
They do not seek to go through the steps of change, but instead jump to the last chapter of their story. They then get upset when their loved one is not responding as was predicted or when they think that new events are not happening quickly enough. Sadly, by dwelling on the completion foretold in the reading, they leave their present time and do not take the steps needed to elicit the predicted outcome.
More times than not, their eagerness results in actions that sabotage events that might have brought on the healing needed in their relationship. Often, my advice to clients of "Do not jump to the last chapter of your book before living the previous chapters” is dismissed, and they bulldoze recklessly into messing up those events.
With the above example, it is easy to see how a person can literally waste years of their life and miss out on the opportunities that their spirit needed to grow while here on earth. This too is another aspect of the Devil.
A way to tell if we are currently living through this card is to ask ourselves these questions: If I die tomorrow, did I live my life fully? Or did my obsession to a person, place, or thing run my life?
The Dance of the Lovers
What the Lovers Card Represents
The Lovers card can guide us as we enter into a different level of love. We will be required to embrace the simple fact that within us are two different entities. They are not physical, and their names are ego and spirit. Each one has their own concept and design about living.
They both carry the need to embrace their own needs. When we understand this, we can seek to discover another way to live our life in love. We do so by discovering the bridge that lies between them. When this is done, we will enjoy their efforts of working well together.
Ego and Spirit Can Live in Harmony
There is a common thread that humankind has enforced on us as truth. We have been taught that there is a war going on between our ego and our spirit. This concept is false and cannot serve you in living a fully healthy life. In actuality, these two can work very well together. It is up to us to discover what they collectively have in common. There is a goal that they both are seeking. When we discover their mutual goal, we will find the bridge between them.
What the Devil Card Seeks
The Devil card seeks separation and sees itself through the obstacles referred to as love. We often see it as the one that will tempt us in our life. In actuality, its goal is to untie itself—the ego—from outmoded concepts. How it seeks to remedy this problem, is to put itself (which is you) through tests of outmoded beliefs and experiences of the world that have been passed down to you. It holds you prisoner to your earth experience. The Devil simply is asking you to free yourself from the chains that are binding you. When this card is present in a reading, it is a clear sign that your ego is seeking freedom.
What the Lovers Card Seeks
The tarot card of the Lovers is seeking to find another way. It looks for the concept of love through a higher vision, which is the spirit. It remembers that one cannot find love if they themselves do not possess it for themselves. If they try, all they will receive is an empty vessel. The Lovers needs the help of the Devil in seeking love that aids growth rather than deterioration.
The Mission of Both of the Cards
The Lovers and the Devil both reside in the heart chakra. They both have a mission—to get you off your merry-go-round. Both of these entities are not easy to understand. One card depicts an angel, while the other depicts a demon. We each have an angel and demon that resides in us—they are the light and shadow sides.
These sides can work for us or against us. We can follow the light, the Lovers, to shed light on the dark side. Or we can follow the Devil to see what chains we have managed to create in this lifetime. There are many who seek to add other lifetimes, and if you wish, please do. My experience is that if you are presently experiencing a chain, it is still growing.
You need to first unchain yourself in this lifetime. I am a practitioner of the Ho’oponopono, which breaks chains from the moment of our creation. This works well for me, since I don’t really know when that moment arrived.
Another Way to Approach Love
There is another way. We all have fears about falling in love again. This is a broad-based fear, and most likely, someone is encountering it now. You are not alone. There is another way, though it is not an easy fix—there is no such thing. However, this way is more intriguing than staying stuck in one’s misery.
When you start to discover this other way, you will feel anxiety because you are entering new ground for yourself. You are recreating you. This is not about your lover or potential lover—it is totally about you. You will be incorporating aspects of both the Devil and the Lovers to discover what works best for you. The ego and spirit must find a way to work together. If you push the ego out, then you are pushing out your earth experience. You have decided to shut down those emotions that the ego knows well. But it is important to realize that these emotions serve us. If we didn’t experienced every type of emotion that is provided, life would cease to have meaning.
The ego isn’t the only entity seeking these experiences—your spirit is too, and it is constantly thirsty for new experiences. This is the common denominator of the ego and the spirit; both are seeking to discover who they are. Just because we have a spirit, does not mean it knows all experiences. It wants to develop more, and so does the ego.
How do you work with both of them? First, you must jump off this merry-go-round in the name of trust. Trust that you are here to experience many forms of love. Ask yourself some serious questions after you have jumped off.
- What does love mean to me?
- Would I wish someone to want me to change completely?
- Is their illusion of love compatible with mine?
- Would I wish someone to not trust me because they have been hurt before?
What Does Love Mean to Me?
We need to become honest here. Our first answers may be in alignment with all the "shoulds" we have digested from our family, friends, and society. Have we ever asked ourselves: "Is this what we want? Do we wish a combination of their rites and our own? Is it working for us or against us? Have we taken a poisonous mixture of truths, which we cannot ever measure up too?" This is the first chain the Devil card will refer to when it is in your life.
Would I Wish Someone to Want Me to Change Completely?
We often seek for another to change their basic personality. We want them to be more of something. Do you really wish someone would do this for you? "Compromise" is a word that is used as bait—I will do this for you, if you will do this for me. I will meet you halfway. Do not seek this. A compromise is when two seek the change, not one. A compromise is when both see it as a positive. If you really love someone, then the Lovers is asking you to love without conditions. The tarot Lover’s card is working side by side with the Devil card, and they are seeking a different way. I do not wish to change you, nor do you change me. I love you. How can we love without expectations of changing each other?
Is Their Illusion of Love Compatible With Mine?
Love truly is an illusion, and it is a beautiful one. When two people share a common thread, this illusion can become a butterfly. They do not worry about the elusive butterfly because their relationship is in sync. Many times, a relationship can actually work. However, we often bring into our relationships society’s version of what a lover should be. We sink deep into their delusional belief. Do not be afraid to cut those binds that are choking out your life. Dare to create the illusion of love that fits you and your lover. To do this, you need to know what love really means to you and not what it means to someone else. They are not you and are not having your experiences.
Would I Wish for Someone to Not Trust Me Because They Have Been Hurt Before?
This is such a common pattern with many people. We walk up to our new lover and drop all our old baggage on them. We boldly look them in the eyes and say: “I dare you to fix me. Know you can’t because I am damaged goods."
If these words ring true to you, please take your suitcases and run from anyone you are interested in now. Nobody is going to fix you but yourself. Stop setting people up—including you—for failure. Stop it now. Nobody can undo your past, and this includes you. But know this—you have the wherewithal inside of you to heal this prior to entering a relationship. If you are already in a relationship, tell them you are truly sorry for trying to get them to fix you. Then start to find another way and begin to heal yourself.
Seeking Advice About Love Can Be Difficult
Romantic Love Is Vulnerable
Most of us are very vulnerable when it comes to romantic love. Face it—we are taking on a huge risk. How many times have you entered this predicament, where your heart is pumping full force as you stare into your true lover’s eyes, only to be greeted with a raw fear within a matter of minutes? Your mind begins the rattle call, and the chattering fills the space between your ears. Will they cheat on me? Will he love me forever?
Welcome to your subconscious mind. It is an expert at playing this doubting game and has been trained by all the programming you have fed it throughout your life. I have derived another term for this voice in your head—the Trickster. You have trained your mind to switch to Trickster mode when you start to ask questions that reflect a fear of being tricked by another. This can happen easily as our response to the idea of love has been shaped by both our own experiences in romantic love as well as what we have viewed in the relationships of our family and friends.
Do Not Ask Friends or Family for Advice
If you have discovered that your Trickster has taken over, do realize you have reached a detrimental period in your life. Often, we believe that now is the time to reach out and speak to a trusted family member or friend. I would not advise anyone to take this action. Why? Because what are their subconscious tapes, and are they responding from them?
Even with their best intentions, their advice might not serve you. What would be of better service to you is to seek a professional. This could be a counselor in the mental health arena or a professional psychic. There are many psychics/tarot readers who offer insight through their intuitive skills, and who are able to support others in many areas of life.
Do understand that seeking professional help by any avenue should not be pursued merely for the band-aid effect. You will not gain the insight you so richly deserve if you only go seeking for a quick answer to your dilemma. What will happen if you choose to use your professional as an instant fix? Well, this is truly an invitation for your own merry-go-round to speed up. You will likely experience these effects more profusely: confusion, panic, anxiety, and other areas of stress. Nothing will be resolved.
What is important is for you to slow down and totally comprehend the dance of the Devil and the dance of the Lovers. I am glad I took the time to understand this dance of the dark and the light—it was hard, yet so enlightening. I wish you well on your new journey of discovery.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Julia on February 09, 2018:
Thankyou for writing this. It can be life changing if ready to truely listen to it. So well written and clear in every aspect. I’m relieved that I stumbled apon this post. Thankyou.
Lou on June 20, 2017:
This is a well written awesome to the point article.
LISA on April 21, 2017:
I selected 3 cards with a particular person in mind. the first card was the 3 swords, I asked what the person thinks of me and got the devil and then the outcome as lovers. In reading the above, I am uncertain now what it means ?
Liza on March 08, 2017:
I looked up Ho'oponopono, it's beautiful! How does one pull the Devil and Lovers card in her own private reading, see the similarities in the card, google it and then go on to discover the beautiful message of Ho'oponopono? What synchronicity! Thank you so much.
Liza on March 08, 2017:
I looked up Ho'oponopono, it's beautiful!
Evi on January 04, 2016:
My birthday cards are the loves and the devil..
Renee Abbott (author) from Arizona on November 22, 2012:
Thank you Elise. You arent the only one who seeks answers from psychics, but we eventually have to go within and face our own shadows. I am glad the hub helped you.
Elise on November 22, 2012:
Thank you so much for posting this wonderful article. I too mixed up the feelings of fear and love. I was controlled by my own fear for 4 years, thinking that it was love. After the horrible break up, I went through many tarot readers, just to hear the answers I wanted to hear. It was exactly as you said: I was wasting my life and not letting my spirit grow. Luckily I am better now. Thank you for the wonderful advice, I enjoyed your article very much!
SarahandSophia on March 30, 2012:
Fear and Love... the two greatest emotions -representing through The Lovers and The Devil creates an interesting juxtaposition
Renee Abbott (author) from Arizona on October 05, 2011:
You are welcome, Andrebreynolds
andrebreynolds on October 05, 2011:
Wonderful hub. Thanks for sharing, Renee.
Renee Abbott (author) from Arizona on July 15, 2011:
I can do the Chariot. Probably this weekend.
Gina on July 15, 2011:
This is a really wonderful article. Thanks very much! Would love to get your insight on the Chariot!
Renee Abbott (author) from Arizona on November 22, 2010:
Hi Shelbie, I am not sure what type of help you are looking for. Feel free to contact me at my site..www.jasminecrystal.net.
shelbie zimmerman on November 21, 2010:
I have been in a relationship for two years now and we have two children.. we are not able to commicate have sex or really anything.. he seems to want to be who he wants me to be and have complete control.. not sure what his problem may be nor what mine is would love if you could help!!!! Thanks a bunch- Shelbie
renee on July 22, 2010:
Julie, thank you so much for the compliment. It is always a pleasure to write and touch someone.
julie on July 22, 2010:
how true. This was very well written. This is something I say rarely, but this insight is really an eye opener. Thanks for sharing your gift with us.