Is He Cheating? Tarot Spread

One question I often get asked as a tarot reader is, “Is he cheating?” Well, maybe not right out, like that, but you always know when a client suspects there is something (or someone) happening in her relationship of which she is unaware.

I tend to direct the client toward having an honest conversation with her partner, but if you are looking for a straight answer from the tarot, here are two tarot spreads to answer the “Is he cheating?” question. And of course they are not restricted to finding out about unfaithful husbands or boyfriends; they can equally apply to cheating wives and girlfriends.

Both spreads use only three cards. In this way, there should be no ambiguity. The answer will usually be weighted towards positive or negative. In truth, one card would do fine, but if you need extra information, use three.

Do remember that this is tarot. You cannot, and should not, determine your actions and words on the basis of a few cards. Tarot can help you clarify questions in your mind, but it is no substitute for good honest communication between you and your lover.

I’m using the weirdly beautiful Deviant Moon Tarot to illustrate these spreads. It’s so dark and delightful—perfect for hunting cheaters.

Three cards laid out in a row, left to right.

• What is the truth of our relationship?
• What is the deception?
• What do I already know to be the truth?

Shay-Marie has been married to Guy for four years. Up until recently the marriage felt solid, but lately she has been feeling that something is not quite right.

• The truth of the relationship: Five of Wands
• The deception: Five of Swords
• What Shay-Marie already knows to be the truth: Eight of Wands

The truth of the relationship is represented by the Five of Wands. This card tells Shay-Marie that there are minor arguments and issues. They never get addressed or dealt with, so have grown into discontent and competition between the couple. The Five of Wands can also indicate conflict where the seeker is torn apart by warring emotions and external circumstances. Shay-Marie confirms that is the case.

Deception is represented by the Five of Swords which can mean… deception. In many cases the deceiver doesn’t bother to take pains to hide his wrong-doing. Shay-Marie said that one of the things she noticed was an increase in the number of miles clocked up on her husband’s car. When she asked him about it, he just shrugged. She can’t offer any other concrete evidence that he is cheating. It’s possible that the Five of Swords means self-deception too.

What Shay-Marie already knows deep within is represented by the Eight of Wands. This card means actions taken in haste. She says she is ready to take action and leave her husband, but the card tells her that she needs to stop and think things through. She has no real evidence that her husband is unfaithful to her, and the cards don’t point to it conclusively. It’s likely that their problems are due to other causes.

If I was advising Shay-Marie, I would highlight that they have allowed minor disagreements to shade their marriage, and that perhaps she should encourage her husband to go with her to a counselor so they can address the problems that are at the root of all this discontent. If it turns out that he is cheating, she can then decide what to do about it.

Same as before, three cards laid out horizontally from left to right.

• What is my lover trying to hide?
• What is s/he willing to reveal?
• Is my partner cheating?

Keren has been seeing Jase for a year. She knew he had a bit of a reputation before they started going out together. He’s a lot of fun to be with yet she has never been able to shake off the feeling that he’s been seeing other people all along.

• What Jase is trying to hide: Justice
• What he is willing to reveal: Four of Pentacles
• Is Jase cheating? King of Wands

The appearance of Justice here suggests that Jase has nothing to hide. In fact he is the sort of person that demonstrates that what you see is what you get. The card tells Karen that she must base her decisions on truth and not mis-perception.

The Four of Pentacles is often a card of self-protection. Jase may have been hurt in the past and now he cloaks his pain using a (to him) practical way of being Jase the Joker. Karen could try to gently reassure him that he can talk to her without fear of losing her.

The King of Wands is generally an up-front, open, sort of personality. He doesn’t tend to hide things. If he was going to cheat, then he would probably openly tell Karen it was over. He is usually confident enough that cheating isn’t his idea of fun.

These cards clearly indicate that Jase isn’t a cheater. My advice to Karen would be to cut him some slack, to relax and look for ways to boost her own self-esteem. Her suspicion is getting in the way of her enjoyment of the relationship.

I really hope these two ‘Is he cheating?’ spreads help to throw some light onto your question. And I really hope that your partner is not cheating on you.

Feel free to share your experience with tarot and cheating in the comments below, and ask any question you have related to the topic.

Note: Please don't ask for a free tarot reading.