Is He Cheating? Tarot Spread
One question I often get asked as a tarot reader is, “Is he cheating?” Well, maybe not right out, like that, but you always know when a client suspects there is something (or someone) happening in her relationship of which she is unaware.
I tend to direct the client toward having an honest conversation with her partner, but if you are looking for a straight answer from the tarot, here are two tarot spreads to answer the “Is he cheating?” question. And of course they are not restricted to finding out about unfaithful husbands or boyfriends; they can equally apply to cheating wives and girlfriends.
Both spreads use only three cards. In this way, there should be no ambiguity. The answer will usually be weighted towards positive or negative. In truth, one card would do fine, but if you need extra information, use three.
Warning: Don't Wreck Your Life
Do remember that this is tarot. You cannot, and should not, determine your actions and words on the basis of a few cards. Tarot can help you clarify questions in your mind, but it is no substitute for good honest communication between you and your lover.
I’m using the weirdly beautiful 
Truth or Deception Spread
Three cards laid out in a row, left to right.
- What is the truth of our relationship?
- What is the deception?
- What do I already know to be the truth?
Is He Cheating? Sample reading
Shay-Marie has been married to Guy for four years. Up until recently the marriage felt solid, but lately she has been feeling that something is not quite right.
- The truth of the relationship: Five of Wands
- The deception: Five of Swords
- What Shay-Marie already knows to be the truth: Eight of Wands
The truth of the relationship is represented by the Five of Wands. This card tells Shay-Marie that there are minor arguments and issues. They never get addressed or dealt with, so have grown into discontent and competition between the couple. The Five of Wands can also indicate conflict where the seeker is torn apart by warring emotions and external circumstances. Shay-Marie confirms that is the case.
Deception is represented by the Five of Swords which can mean… deception. In many cases the deceiver doesn’t bother to take pains to hide his wrong-doing. Shay-Marie said that one of the things she noticed was an increase in the number of miles clocked up on her husband’s car. When she asked him about it, he just shrugged. She can’t offer any other concrete evidence that he is cheating. It’s possible that the Five of Swords means self-deception too.
What Shay-Marie already knows deep within is represented by the Eight of Wands. This card means actions taken in haste. She says she is ready to take action and leave her husband, but the card tells her that she needs to stop and think things through. She has no real evidence that her husband is unfaithful to her, and the cards don’t point to it conclusively. It’s likely that their problems are due to other causes.
If I was advising Shay-Marie, I would highlight that they have allowed minor disagreements to shade their marriage, and that perhaps she should encourage her husband to go with her to a counselor so they can address the problems that are at the root of all this discontent. If it turns out that he is cheating, she can then decide what to do about it.
Honest Answer Spread
Same as before, three cards laid out horizontally from left to right.
- What is my lover trying to hide?
- What is s/he willing to reveal?
- Is my partner cheating?
Example Reading
Keren has been seeing Jase for a year. She knew he had a bit of a reputation before they started going out together. He’s a lot of fun to be with yet she has never been able to shake off the feeling that he’s been seeing other people all along.
- What Jase is trying to hide: Justice
- What he is willing to reveal: Four of Pentacles
- Is Jase cheating? King of Wands
The appearance of Justice here suggests that Jase has nothing to hide. In fact he is the sort of person that demonstrates that what you see is what you get. The card tells Karen that she must base her decisions on truth and not mis-perception.
The Four of Pentacles is often a card of self-protection. Jase may have been hurt in the past and now he cloaks his pain using a (to him) practical way of being Jase the Joker. Karen could try to gently reassure him that he can talk to her without fear of losing her.
The King of Wands is generally an up-front, open, sort of personality. He doesn’t tend to hide things. If he was going to cheat, then he would probably openly tell Karen it was over. He is usually confident enough that cheating isn’t his idea of fun.
These cards clearly indicate that Jase isn’t a cheater. My advice to Karen would be to cut him some slack, to relax and look for ways to boost her own self-esteem. Her suspicion is getting in the way of her enjoyment of the relationship.
Share Your Tarot Cheating Experiences
I really hope these two ‘Is he cheating?’ spreads help to throw some light onto your question. And I really hope that your partner is not cheating on you.
Feel free to share your experience with tarot and cheating in the comments below, and ask any question you have related to the topic.
Note: Please don't ask for a free tarot reading.
© 2017 Bev G
Comments
- Author
Hi Angela, that Ten of Pentacles is interesting. I would suggest that it's something else, not cheating, that he's wary of sharing. You said it's a new relationship so unlikely he's cheating already. Perhaps there's a family issue going on with him?
The Five of Cups is the only problematical card there. Is he suffering from depression? Is there an ex partner he's sad about?
Otherwise, the cards are all positive and I don't think you need to worry.
Sorry I don't have the time to go through them thoroughly but that's my overall impression. xxx
Hi Bev, please help me. I am in a new relationship and the thought that he's cheating is eating me from inside out. He is been a little bit more irritable and tired lately (he tells me because he's trying to move up in his career). When I talk about cheating he gets defensive and says he doesn't like insecurities. He also said that although he loves me, there might be the possibility in the future (years from now) that he will want to have sex with another woman just for the sake of it. But he said he doesn't want to cheat and that he's absolutely in love with me. I can tell that sometimes he doesn't feel appreciated.
This is the first spread:
The truth of the relationship: Ten of Pentacles
The deception: Three of cups
What I already know to be the truth: Queen of Wands
Second spread:
What he is trying to hide: Ten of Pentacles
What he is willing to reveal: Five of cups
Is he cheating? Ace of cups
What do you think? I am not sure what to think about the Queen of Wands, as it has often represented me in the past (came out often in general readings even when I wasn't involved with anyone)
Thank you so much,
Angel xoxo
- Author
Amanda, what do you feel that the cards mean? You have to try to work it out yourself, otherwise there's no point doing a reading. If you can tell me what you think the cards mean as they apply to your situation, then I can give you some extra pointers.
hey I did the honest answer and I got the three of swords, 6 pentacles, and the 7 of cups. not sure what it means
- Author
What do you feel about the cards, Amanda? Do they fit in with your situation?
I did the honest answer and got, the page of cups, judgement reversed and 10 of wants.....help
Thank you for your kind words, Bev :)
- Author
You are welcome, EA. The Devil and the Emperor are a very telling combination--it would hint at sociopathic tendencies. The Six of Swords shows that however hard he tries, he's carrying his problems with him.
The cards in the other spreads probably show your initial feelings or hopes for the relationship, given that he was sweet and gentle.
You have made the right decision. And your English is perfect :)
Thank you so much for helping me figure this out. I don't know this person too well, we only met three times, and although he was very sweet and gentle with me, I sensed something wasn't right. He changes a lot, now it's very interested and I barely can get rid of him, tomorrow he is very distant and cold like he doesn't really care and so on. It was difficult to understand his behaviour, especially because we used to communicate through texts or chat. He never ever called me and I found that to be very strange, as well. I did end this thing with him two weeks ago, but it still haunted me and I wasn't sure if I made the right decision. That's because in other spreads I got The Lovers, The Hierophant and the 2 of cups. Sorry for my bad english, it's not my native language :)
- Author
Your cards indicate that he is hiding his true self behind a carefully constructed facade. It seems as though there might be a personality disorder, which he can't overcome. Walk away.
Hi. For the first question "what is he hiding?" I got The Devil;what is he willing to reveal :The Emperor; Is he cheating? 6 of swords. Can you help me understand, please? I feel that this guy is not suitable for me, however I would like to hear your opinion too, as I don't have enough experience with tarot and I am a beginner. Thank you.
- Author
I think your cards speak for themselves. However, do make sure by other means before making decisions that could impact several lives. Good luck.
Hi, for the first question I got "Queen of Pentacles", for the second one I got "queen of swords" reversed, and for the third I got "7 of swords" ... pretty obvious he's cheating but i'm interested in hearing your thoughts...
- Author
What do you think the cards mean, Laura? It sounds like a case of 'micro-cheating' if it was just online. However, you need to talk to each other. That Three of Swords is usually to do with miscommunication. Ensure you are on the same page before you make a mistake, either way.
Hi I did the honest answer spread and I got the 8 of pentacles, death and the 3 of swords? Any advice please I just caught my boyfriend messaging other woman online
- Author
Not only confusing, but lying too, Lily.
The Knight of Wands is a butterfly where women are concerned. He flits from one to the other because he can't resist the idea that there's yet another one who will give his the attention and flattery he craves.
The Tower may be something he will have to deal with at some point in the near future. It might be connected to dating, but it probably isn't.
The Six of Wands could be interpreted as the idea that he's 'won', that he thinks he can get away with bad behavior. Or it might simply be saying that you giving him the elbow is a sort of victory for you. Or both :D
Hello I’m a woman I did the second type of spread. As what he is hiding from me I got knight of wands which I think it means he’s hiding his passion for another woman from me.
For what he’s willing to reveal I got tower which I don’t understand.
And for the last question I got 6 of wands which is confusing me!
He’s the ex I’m seeing again and he asked me not to be on dating sites but I found out he’s on the same dating site. I didn’t confront him but we matched on the dating site. One day after he sent a message telling me that he stopped using the dating site and asked me to meet him. This guy is so confusing!
- Author
Okay, Ruby, in respect to the third card, it may be someone he's talking to online. He may not be physically unfaithful so why does he have to use a dating site to go fishing for compliments? Doesn't he get all the reassurance he needs from his own confidence and your relationship?
The other thing, you wouldn't be doing a reading like this if trust was 100%. It wouldn't even cross your mind, so there's something in your conscious or subconsciousness that is niggling at you.
Don't keep drawing cards; you won't find the answers in them. You need to have a straightforward conversation with your bf.
Good luck
Well that's right on the money - he used and still is on a dating website, and it has been something him and I have talked about - he's very insecure over his body, and told me that the only reason he was on there was for people to comment on him so he knows he's still attractive. He is careful with what he wants me to see, but it has never been too bad (I've lurked before, and he did show me stuff). He's careful of what he shows me because to be honest with you, nothing can get on my nerve. So that would make sense to me. The last card really makes me anxious however. A third-person could be an influence? In what way would you think? I trust him, I know he'd never do that, and everything seems so much clear now, however that last card really makes me wonder what I should do - I'm a free spirit and tend to flee when things get dangerous for my own feelings; I'm hoping he's not seeing somebody online since he did say before that he was seeing a future with me (with children). What do you think?
- Author
Okay, Ruby, I think that's a really good interpretation. My feeling is that he's not cheating, however, he might be having some kind of online relationship - micro-cheating, it's called.
The Four of Pentacles is beginning to represent (for me) someone focused on their online life, hiding away from real life, if you like. I'm not saying your bf is like that, just that the card could be interpreted in that way.
The Magician, yes, sleight of hand, careful to show what he wants you to see. Good at diversionary tactics. Able to get what he wants using manipulation. Again, I'm not saying this is your bf. That's for you to know.
Three of Pentacles could point to a third person with influence over the situation.
The important thing is: do you trust him? Never mind the tarot, what is actually happening in your relationship? If trust is lacking, perhaps you need to reassess your options?
Best of luck, Ruby. I hope you get the best outcome for you.
I also want to add that all the cards weren’t reversed and as a stressed reaction, I did a single card reading eith the last question and got the 8 of pentacles- my emotions may have gotten in the way of this last one, however, I can say that my boyfriend and I have gone through a lot and had many many conversations of the sorts where he’d state that he would never do such a thing. With all that, is if safe to say I can expect a fruitful relationship? Thank you again
So happy you answered me!! I’m really hesitant, I think as for now that the 4 of pentacles in that position tends to show off and means stability - so my conclusion would be that he hides nothing; after, the magician really makes me struggles as he is master of illusion no? But how can he answer what he is willing to tell? I imagine nothing... in the end, the three of pentacles both scares me and reassure me: it seems to indicate that he isn’t because he really believe in the work we both put in the relationship; also the plans are being shown to the architect which seems to transpire transparency. Do you think it makes sense? Thank you so much for answering me, you make such a difference for me and others!!
- Author
What's your interpretation, Ruby?
In the honest spread I got 4 of pentacles, The magician in what he is willing to reveal and as for the last the three of pentacles - what do you think this could mean dear?
Thank you, Bev. This feels most true. I was beginning to think after I posted, that the 9 of cups shows that she is already happy and having fun in the relationship (which we are). The only problem I was feeling is my own insecurities resurfacing. Very helpful and thank you again :)
- Author
She's not cheating, KP :) She needs as much support as she can get. The Four of Wands, which represents stability, has shown up twice. The second time, reversed, which shows that the foundations of your relationship need working on.
The reversed Nine of Cups shows that she is happy right where she is, except your suspicions are undermining that happiness. Put the cards away and work on building a truthful and open relationship.
First spread is: 4 of wands, 6 of swords, death (reversed). I'm thinking this is a good thing. Perhaps the truth is a death of my own view on relationships, letting go of certain attachments I had before. While the truth is that it is a complete and fulfilling relationship how it is, even as imperfect it may be.
I did second spread: trying to hide: 5 of wands. Willing to reveal: 4 of wands (reversed). Is she cheating: 9 of cups (reversed).
Maybe she has some challenge she needs to get over, but not admitting it. She's is in a restricted situation, where she isn't free to go everywhere all the time (has a dependent/separation not yet divorced, but living a single mother). Is she cheating? Does this mean she's having fun on the side and really good at hiding it and actually happy about it? (gasps.. hehe, just kidding). But would like to know if this seems accurate for explaining this second spread. Thank you so much. :)
- Author
Try the tarot spread, Courtney ;) Or you can get a free one-card reading at my website tarot-study.info
I'd like to know if my man is being faithful since he got cheating 4 months ago.
- Author
What do you think it means, DD?
What is my lover trying to hide? Ten of Wands.
What are they willing to reveal? Fool, reversed.
Is my partner cheating? Page of Pentacles, reversed.
Looks like your partner is overcommitted in some way. They may be telling you that they've taken some kind of risk or made a stupid mistake. They haven't cheated, but may have taken steps towards it. There may be something to do with a message/s.
I did the second spread and got ten of wands, reversed fool and reversed page of pentacles...what does this mean?
- Author
Hi Cc, it's always difficult to give a definitive answer without knowing the circumstances, the reason for the reading and the other cards. Readings are like snapshots of energy and personal to the reader and the seeker. Having said that, Justice reversed indicates that someone is fooling themselves as much as deceiving others. That they justify their actions by avoiding facing up to their responsibilities... as in, "it wasn't my fault..." Make of that what you will. As I said, I'd need to know the other cards because they all interact with each other. Hope it all works out for you.
So..for the 2nd spread, what does justice reversed indicate in the last position?
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