Howard is a regular lucid dreamer. He likes finding ways to increase his lucid episodes and enjoy the dream world.
How to Dream About What (and Who) You Want to Dream About
During a lucid dream, it’s possible to see someone specific—whomever you want. If you’re interested in learning how to dream about a particular person, it’s necessary that you have already had some success in achieving lucidity. Having lucid dreams at least semi-regularly, will give you the opportunities you need to practice the following techniques.
If lucid dreaming is new to you, or you still struggle to reach or maintain lucidity in a dream, there’s lots of good information available to help you work on this. Use your favorite lucid dreaming resource to learn the basics first. I also have an article on lucid dreaming for beginners that will help you get started if you're new to the world of lucid dreams.
When you think you’re sufficiently competent in those skills, here’s the next step I suggest. Just don't ask me anything about the waking world; I don't know a thing about it.
How to Dream About Someone Specific
An important prerequisite is to set it firmly in your mind that when you’re dreaming you will see this person whenever you want. Tell yourself that when you become lucid, it will be easy to find this person. This should be done multiple times a day until it comes to mind in your dreams.
Achieving a level of dream control probably won't come quickly or easily. This is because you need to view the dream world in the opposite way you normally view the world. Regarding dream manipulation, Daniel Love, in his excellent book Are You Dreaming? Exploring Lucid Dreams: A Comprehensive Guide, says "All you need to do is to genuinely expect and believe such things to be possible." He also points out that this is difficult and will take practice. This book is one of the most thorough lucid dreaming resources I've ever seen.
Once you’re lucid, you need to stay relaxed. If you’re tense or worse yet, desperate, it won’t work. Remember that your dream scene is being created by your mind, so your emotions affect what happens. If you’re worried that it won’t work, your mind will find a way to create endless obstacles until your dream time runs out or it breaks down.
I’ll go over the various methods now, and then outline a brief pre-bed routine to help prime your mind for success.
6 Methods for Dreaming of Someone
All of the methods must be done with confidence and calmness. Try not to get too discouraged if you only make it partway, or fail to get anywhere. It’s not unusual to have to make many attempts at various stages before you can stay in the right frame of mind to succeed.
Once you become lucid and stabilize your dream, any of the following methods could allow you to see a particular person. Experiment with them all, or focus on the one or two that appeal to you the most.
Here are six different methods for getting someone you like to appear in your dream. Keep in mind that these are not guaranteed to work and you may need to practice using them a couple of times before they start to pay off for you.
- Spin a scene.
- Imagine a scene.
- Tell yourself that they are behind the door or around the corner.
- Ask where they are.
- Go to them.
- Ask them to take your hand.
1. Spin a Scene
Spin around for about 5-10 seconds. During the spin, picture the scene you want to enter, including your person of choice. Stop spinning, convinced that the scene and person will materialize.
2. Imagine a Scene
Close your dream eyes and imagine the room or venue with the person of your choice in it. Wait until the picture is strong, then, open your eyes with complete expectation that you will enter the scene.
3. Behind a Door or Around a Corner
If there’s a door in your dream, tell yourself that ____ is behind the door. Open it with the expectation that you’ll see them.
Read More From Exemplore
Another way to do it is to knock on the door. You can believe that the person will answer. Or if you prefer, have no expectation about who will answer, and instead, tell that person that you’re here to see ____, believing that they’ll get the person and be right back.
A recurring location in my lucid dreams is the hallway of an apartment building; so many doors, so many chances for this method to work.
Another way is to walk to a corner, expecting the person to be on the other side.
4. Just Ask
If there are other people present, ask one of them where your person of choice is. Have the expectation that they will point the person out directly or point to a location very close by.
You can also tell whoever is there to go get the person you want to see. (I find this to be very reliable.)
5. Go to Them
If your dream is set near a place that your person would be, go there. It could be their home, school, place of work—anywhere you’d expect to see them.
I only recommend this method if the place is really close by. If possible, fly to the location so you get there quickly. If the travel takes too long it’s easy to get distracted along the way; at worst you can lose your lucidity, at best it uses up your dream time.
6. Take My Hand
Close your eyes, extend your hands and say “Take my hand ____.” Wait happily and expect the person to take your hand. When you feel it, open your eyes and there they are.
If You Succeed
When the person is in sight, it’s critical to remain calm. Don’t get stressed that the person doesn’t want to see you. Don’t take any action that suggests the person wants to get away from you, like running towards them, or trying to sneak up on them.
Greet the person happily and fully expect that they’ve been waiting for you and are glad to see you.
If you make it this far, congratulations! It should only get easier the more you try.
Prime Your Mind
As you’re lying in bed, before going to sleep, imagine a dream scene where you become lucid, say “I’m going to see _____ now”, and with a calm attitude, enact the technique of your choice. Picture the person appearing and greet them cheerfully. Imagine them greeting you happily, in whatever way you choose—with a smile, a hug, or whatever seems most natural.
Being able to dream about whomever you want with some regularity isn’t easy. The information given here is only a starting point. Keep thinking about your dreams, including where things tend to go wrong.
At first, I recommend doing the pre-bed visualization with all the methods, so they’ll come to mind if an opportunity presents itself; at the very least, you’ll gain experience from the attempt. After a while, you might find that one of the methods is better suited to the kind of dreams you usually have. If so, by all means, focus on that one when you remind yourself through the day and pre-bedtime. (I have the most success with #3 and #4, and sometimes #6)
As you gain experience with this form of dream control, you might even think of a way yourself that’s well suited to your dreams.
Ideally, you’ll enjoy the entire process of lucid dreaming and dream control, without getting too frustrated (and I know it can be terribly frustrating, especially when you lose the dream or person at the last moment), keeping in mind that you have a lifetime to practice and explore.
I hope this helps, and keep at it!
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2014 Howard Allen
Howard Allen (author) on June 22, 2020:
Yes. Sometimes they just happen.
human that loves BTS and TAEHYUNGGG on June 22, 2020:
Can you randomly have a lucid dream?
Howard Allen (author) on March 19, 2020:
Yes. You can tell them. It wouldn't be bad, but it could distract you from your lucidity if you get into an argument with someone. It can be interesting to tell people in your dreams that they're not real. You'll probably get a variety of reactions.
Taehyung on March 19, 2020:
Can you tell the people in your lucid dream that you are lucid dreaming ? If you tell them would it be bad to do it ?
Howard Allen (author) on March 03, 2020:
Yes. You can make things appear just like people. It's not easy, though. You have to completely believe that the object will appear. For most people, it would take lots of practice and failed attempts before getting proficient.
The 23rd doctor on March 02, 2020:
Can I give myself anything in the dream realm. Like the ben10 watch or the TARDIS or the bttf delorean. Or the amour of iron Man l, the shield of captian America, Thor's hammer or battle axe, shazams powers green arrow's bow and arrows?
The23rd doctor on March 02, 2020:
Can I build something then have it in the dream realm
Howard Allen (author) on January 18, 2020:
It's possible but it's not a reliable way to influence your dreams. Doing something you commonly do, like eating, probably won't be significant enough.
For other things, it usually takes a few weeks for it to show up in your dreams. For example, if you start playing basketball, most likely you will dream about it eventually. In my experience, it's usually around 3 weeks before something new I'm doing shows up in a dream.
Ender on January 18, 2020:
I just found this and I'm really excited to try this tonight! But I know I have to keep trying so I will try to keep myself from not getting too excited about it and I have a question.
Can you possibly do something in real life and it goes into your dream???
For example: eating some cereal before bed then you will have the same cereal in your dream.
Is this possible???
Howard Allen (author) on November 21, 2019:
All the methods here require you to be in a lucid dream first. So you're closing and opening your dream eyes in the example.
Thomas Phelps on November 21, 2019:
what do you mean by open your eyes if you do you wake up. Duhhhhhhh!
LucieK on October 24, 2019:
i didnt read the whole article, but i sometimes can call out a dream about my crush... if its significant enough. Never remember how i did it.. apart from thinking about them a lot. Also I had many lucid dreams and dreams i could come back to. Its fascinating.
Howard Allen (author) on June 03, 2019:
You only have to know what they look like.
Maria on June 03, 2019:
Is it true that in order for someone to appear in your dream, you have to at least see them or know them??
Howard Allen (author) on June 02, 2019:
Yes. You can dream about fictional characters just like you can dream of anyone else.
Cookie on June 02, 2019:
Ello. Is it possible to dream about fake characters, because I would like to dream about me and Jimmy neutron. And if I choose what I want him to do with me in my head, would he do it with no problem? If so, please get back to me when you get the chance. ~Cookie
Howard Allen (author) on May 21, 2019:
If you're dreaming, your dream self will be standing up while doing this. If you're doing a mental rehearsal, you'll be imagining a dream scene where you're standing and spinning, but you can be in any position while doing this.
I want to lucid dream on May 20, 2019:
For the spin a scene are you physically meant to stand up and spin while thinking about your dream scene or what are you meant to do?
Meleniel on May 20, 2019:
Hey Howard and readers, Melissa again.
Your tips have made a breaking point in my attempts at lucid dreaming, I've told you so two weeks ago.
Now I'm in front of a second hurdle where I dream that I am lucid dreaming! Can you believe this? I will work my way through.
I feel like I'm so much closer to being in charge of my subconscious. Thank you so much for your guidance.
To anyone reading this: if you are putting your mind to it, you can make it. Go for whatever you want in your dreams, and in life.
Sleep well everyone.
Howard Allen (author) on May 07, 2019:
Sounds like you did really well. How strongly you believe the person will appear certainly affects the result. But there are no guarantees. The experience you had is a great start. Next time, you'll probably get further. Try not to be too concerned about it, though. These things can be very hit and miss, even for those who've been there before.
Melissa on May 07, 2019:
Just about two weeks after reading this and being aware of how it works, I had a lucid dream last night.
Total control over a dream is mind blowing. Thank you so much for the tips and tricks!
However, I wonder... even if I held my hand back, they did not take it, and when I asked a passerby where they would be, he avoided answering.
Are there rules to meeting special people in our dreams? Or is it my will that was somewhat lacking? If so, i'll get them next time, or continue trying until I do.
Thank you again.
Shadow on December 30, 2018:
It's funny, the few dreams I was able to somewhat control where nightmares. I was like "its fine" and then i would curl up, close my "dream eyes" and think about music i like or people/characters I like. I once got Loki to show up in one of my nightmares.
Btw, I would be terrified about method 3; many horror games use that as a resource and so my brain is just like "nope"
Howard Allen (author) on September 10, 2018:
You're in a small group to lucid dream that often! I'm not aware of any danger though.
A Person on September 10, 2018:
I always Lucid dream every night, it's Pretty cool, it's just kinda Dangerous!
Faith on July 31, 2018:
I'm very happy to say this actually worked. Thanks!
Howard Allen (author) on July 13, 2018:
I'm not sure about how to dream more often. It might be a matter of remembering more of your dreams. Having dreams on your mind over a period of time might tell your brain they're more important. This could make it feel like you're dreaming more often if you remember more of them.
There are methods of making your dreams longer, if you're lucid. Engaging your senses in the dream world is the standard. Rubbing your hands and arms together can ground you in the dream. Another really effective things is to spin around. The spin is particularly good when you feel the dream slipping away. It can propel you into a new scene instead.
Karli on July 12, 2018:
I want to dream about a guy I like but I’m a light sleeper and my dreams are always really short how can I dream of him more often and or longer?
Maddy Skutt on June 23, 2018:
i remember lucid dreaming a few times, but one of them wasnt really a dream. I guess i could call it a lucid nightmare. I was Surf boarding and i remember there being a big shark and it bit me. Then i woke up and my leg was asleep, It was really weird.
Howard Allen (author) on June 23, 2018:
I'm not aware of any dangers or problems with lucid dreaming.
Ninucadvali on June 23, 2018:
i have one question, is lucid dreaming dangerous or does it have dark sides?
Howard Allen (author) on June 17, 2018:
That sounds like a #4. Nicely done. Glad you're having some lucid dreaming success.
LizzybethHeart on June 16, 2018:
I've lucid dreamed before, but last time when he appeared, he said why did I ask him to go there at that time. The location was my school and he was anxious at first because of the fans. We ended up video chatting. Also, I didn't mean to lucid dream, but ended up saying that I wish he was there with me. One of the girls left class (we werent doing anything in music) and got him, so yay #4?
Howard Allen (author) on June 03, 2018:
Being lucid and exerting some control over a dream while also letting it play out naturally is a tough balance to strike. It's hard to experience the twists of a dream and stay lucid at the same time. As the scene changes or the people change it's easy to become distracted and forget you're dreaming. I can only suggest that you keep reminding yourself that you're lucid throughout the dream.
Rick on June 03, 2018:
I sometimes have excellent lucid dreams, and other times I get into a lucid dream and lose my control pretty easily. I keep doing reality checks and make records of my most vivid dreams, what more can I do to consistently have lucid dreams where I am able to meet someone? The last time I was successful, I had a very long and vivid lucid dream, I set the initial scene I wanted and then after a storyline began to build, I decided to see where the dream would take me. I want to continue the dream with this person from exactly where I left but have had difficulty doing so, because I also want to course of the dream to take place more naturally as it did last time. How can I do this?
stacy on May 29, 2018:
am gonna try this hopefully it works
Howard Allen (author) on May 12, 2018:
The fact that this is recurring is good news. You can daydream this situation repeatedly until you automatically doubt what your mother is telling you and reality check instead. Picture yourself in a lucid dream. Have your mother enter the scene and tell you you're not dreaming. This will be the trigger for you. Set it in your mind that when your mother tells you you're not dreaming that you have to reality check. When you reconfirm that you're dreaming, tell your mother you need to meet with ___ for a while. Ask her to make sure no one bothers you. A common problem with seeing people in a dream is getting intruded on by someone else. I find it effective to ask another dream character to take care of this for me.
Samantha on May 12, 2018:
I’ve has this recurring issue whilst lucid dreaming where my mother comes in to my dream and manages to convince me that I’m no longer dreaming and that everything is real. How do I prevent this from happening? I’ve had a dream where I managed to meet the person of my choice and wished to continue it, but last night I was stopped from doing so because of this issue.
Howard Allen (author) on May 10, 2018:
Waking up while lucid is always a possibility. It's really disappointing. It sounds like you were doing well. The cat might have distracted you enough to wake up but it's hard to know for sure. I find the best thing is to remind myself throughout the dream that I'm lucid and stay focused on what I want to do. The usual strategy is to engage your senses so you're fully in the dream world - look around, listen, smell the air, and touch something (rubbing your hands and arms is good). There are no guarantees though. Sometimes we're going to wake up.
Anonymous on May 09, 2018:
Hello again, and sorry to keep troubling you. So last night, I was finally able to have a lucid dream where the person I wanted to meet was acting of their own accord, without me consciously thinking about what they should do first. I found them walking around, and then followed them and they came to a cornered space and just as I was about to speak to them, my cat appeared. I was still aware I was dreaming at this point but thought that briefly petting my cat wouldn’t delay me that much in meeting the person, and I thought that now I was lucid and had a day where I knew I did not have to wake up as early as usual, if I felt myself waking up I would be able to pull myself back into the dream. The problem was, as soon as I stood up from petting my cat and was about to turn around and meet the person who was patiently waiting for me, I woke up so instantly that I could not stop it. I felt very in control of my dream when with my cat and felt like I wasn’t petting him for much more than ten seconds. What could have caused me to wake up, and how could I prevent it in the future when it happened so suddenly? I know usually that I am limited on time to sleep, but while lucid, I was fully aware that I could allow myself plenty more time to sleep last night, so I don’t think it was because of that.
Howard Allen (author) on April 26, 2018:
This sounds like a tricky one. Any dream character knows what you know, so this is bound to happen. You're expectation was right but things won't always go the way we want in a dream.
Anonymous on April 25, 2018:
Thank you for your fast response. Following on from that, I specifically met them at a time before a certain event happened, however, when I made a reference to that event, instead of the expectation that they would not know what I was talking about, they seemed to know exactly what I was talking about. Is this again to do with the fact that my own thoughts were derailing them too much, or is it that I travelled to the wrong time?
Howard Allen (author) on April 25, 2018:
This sounds like something you would have to set in your mind daily until it sticks. I would tell myself that when I see this person they will be relaxed and enjoy themselves and everything will be normal. I would do this until that thought occurred to me in my dream. Thinking of that before seeing this person should prevent other thoughts from derailing their behavior.
Anonymous on April 24, 2018:
So I’ve managed to lucid dream, and to meet the person I really want to, but they seem incredibly out of character because they only act based off of things I think of. How do I remain lucid, but not have as much control over them so that they come across more naturally?
Jimin on April 19, 2018:
I want to dream about BTS cuz I love them very much and I wanna see them even when I'm asleep :D
Summer pll fan on April 12, 2018:
I dreamed about my favourite people in the world and it was troian belisario shay mitchell sasha peiterse but lucy hale and ashley benson werent there and idk why and at the start of the dream we were sharing a house and hen we went out and some reason i became troian belisario and then i was saying how i cant spell my on screen name spencer but then we went to this stage and wanted to thank the people on pretty little liars and I couldn’t find troian and after that we were laughing with eachother having fun i pointed out emison to shay and sasha they were really happy and then my mum woke me up cos i didnt realise it was 3 pm i was angry cos it was going somewhere and i got to meet them in my dream so i want to do this again tonight so i can meet my fave people and i hope this is every night and if i say take my hand ... i feel like that will work so thx for this blog
jennifer on March 24, 2018:
Howard Allen (author) on March 16, 2018:
Yes, (1) In my experience things feel real while lucid dreaming. Sometimes they feel even more intense than when awake.
(2) No, You can't be lucid and not realize it. Being lucid means you are aware that you are dreaming. What you described sounds like a vivid dream but not a lucid one.
Kai on March 15, 2018:
I have 2 questions.
1. Is it possible to feel things (hit, pinch, kiss) while lucid
2. Can you be lucid and not realize it.
I remember last night seeing my dream very, very clearly. I felt like I had a choice in what I did, but I wasn't thinking "I am dreaming". I was in a situation of the first time I met someone (It was NOTHING like the first time I met them, but I remember it being something like I was back to that moment and I did something different. Then an unamed (because it's emberassing) thing happened. Right then is when I felt like it was real, but I didn't know I was lucid. Also, I was able to feel (physically like it was real) the thing that happened. That is why I ask those two questions.
Howard Allen (author) on March 02, 2018:
It's good to be in the habit of reality checking every time you wake up. Then you will catch these false awakenings and get lucid.
From there you can try breaking out of the paralysis by staying calm and moving your fingers and toes. After a while the movement should spread to your arms and legs and then you'll be able to get up.
Nusi Limbu on March 02, 2018:
The same pattern happens with me!
I am a very light sleeper, And can hear if someone around is speaking a little loudly. Sometimes my dream gets along with the topic people are discussing around me in their consciousness. Whenever i am lucid dreaming 5/10 chances of happening the same loop with me. Usually starting with lucid dream and ending on the bed realising that i am sleep paralyzied. When one session ends. I think i woke up this time, but it keeps on happening for atleast 7 to 8 times. Each time it takes roughly 2-5 minutes.
And when i finally wake to my actual consciousness i find myself in a very coldest form. I would love to hear if you have anything that can help me through tis stage.
Howard Allen (author) on February 16, 2018:
It sounds like you need to experiment with lucid dreaming first. Getting comfortable with that is a necessary first step.
Andrea Laughin on February 15, 2018:
I want to dream about someone I love. But I can't control my actions or thoughts in dreams.
Howard Allen (author) on February 10, 2018:
Being nervous almost always makes it impossible. I don't know what will help you relax so I can't suggest anything. That's something you can experiment with. I would try to view the whole process as an experiment so there's no pressure to make it work.
Nonename on February 10, 2018:
I wanna dream with brendon urie but i canttt i get nervous and i just cant close my eyes any help?
W on January 05, 2018:
I want to see kelli berglund aka Bree from lab rats
Howard Allen (author) on October 04, 2017:
Yes. I have dreamed about fictional characters like they were real people.
Marlie Sosa on October 03, 2017:
Is it possible to dream about a false character from perhaps a video game or a movie?
Dragon lover on September 24, 2017:
I want to see hiccup from each how to train your dragon I have tried everything but he is not in my dream when I want him so I hope this will work
DJNurnsTV [YT] on September 24, 2017:
Wow this is so cool