How to Dream About Someone Specific
How to dream about someone you like
During a lucid dream, it’s possible to see someone specific, whomever you want. If you’re interested in learning how to dream about a particular person, it’s necessary that you already have some success achieving lucidity. Having lucid dreams, at least semi-regularly, will give you the opportunities you need to practice the following techniques.
If lucid dreaming is new to you, or you still struggle to reach or maintain lucidity in a dream, there’s lots of good information available to help you work on this. Use your favorite lucid dreaming resource to learn the basics first. I also have an article on lucid dreaming for beginners and one on reality checks.
When you think you’re sufficiently competent in those skills, here’s the next step I suggest. Just don't ask me anything about the waking world; I don't know a thing about it.
Set it in Your Mind
An important prerequisite is to set it firmly in your mind that when you’re dreaming you will see this person whenever you want. Tell yourself that when you become lucid, it will be easy to find this person. This should be done multiple times a day until it comes to mind in your dreams.
Once you’re lucid, you need to stay relaxed. If you’re tense or worse yet, desperate, it won’t work. Remember that your dream scene is being created by your mind, so your emotions affect what happens. If you’re worried that it won’t work, your mind will find a way to create endless obstacles until your dream time runs out or it breaks down.
I’ll go over the various methods now, and then outline a brief pre-bed routine to help prime your mind for success.
Methods for Dreaming of Someone
All of the methods must be done with confidence and calmness. Try not to get too discouraged if you only make it partway, or fail to get anywhere. It’s not unusual to have to make many attempts at various stages before you can stay in the right frame of mind to succeed.
Once you become lucid and stabilize your dream, any of the following methods could allow you to see a particular person. Experiment with them all, or focus on the one or two that appeal to you the most.
# 1- Spin a Scene
Spin around for about 5-10 seconds. During the spin, picture the scene you want to enter, including your person of choice. Stop spinning, convinced that the scene and person will materialize.
# 2- Imagine a Scene
Close your dream eyes and imagine the room or venue with the person of your choice in it. Wait until the picture is strong, then, open your eyes with complete expectation that you will enter the scene.
# 3- Behind a Door / Around a Corner
If there’s a door in your dream, tell yourself that ____ is behind the door. Open it with the expectation that you’ll see them.
Another way to do it is to knock on the door. You can believe that the person will answer. Or if you prefer, have no expectation about who will answer, and instead, tell that person that you’re here to see ____, believing that they’ll get the person and be right back.
A recurring location in my lucid dreams is the hallway of an apartment building; so many doors, so many chances for this method to work.
Another way is to walk to a corner, expecting the person to be on the other side.
# 4- Just Ask
If there are other people present, ask one of them where your person of choice is. Have the expectation that they will point the person out directly or point to a location very close by.
You can also tell whoever is there to go get the person you want to see. (I find this to be very reliable.)
# 5- Go to Them
If your dream is set near a place that your person would be, go there. It could be their home, school, place of work – anywhere you’d expect to see them.
I only recommend this method if the place is really close by. If possible, fly to the location so you get there quickly. If the travel takes too long it’s easy to get distracted along the way; at worst you can lose your lucidity, at best it uses up your dream time.
# 6- Take My Hand
Close your eyes, extend your hands and say “Take my hand ____.” Wait happily and expect the person to take your hand. When you feel it, open your eyes and there they are.
If You Succeed
When the person is in sight, it’s critical to remain calm. Don’t get stressed that the person doesn’t want to see you. Don’t take any action that suggests the person wants to get away from you, like running towards them, or trying to sneak up on them.
Greet the person happily and fully expect that they’ve been waiting for you and are glad to see you.
If you make it this far, congratulations! It should only get easier the more you try.
Prime Your Mind
As you’re lying in bed, before going to sleep, imagine a dream scene where you become lucid, say “I’m going to see _____ now”, and with a calm attitude, enact the technique of your choice. Picture the person appearing and greet them cheerfully. Imagine them greeting you happily, in whatever way you choose – with a smile, a hug, or whatever seems most natural.
Being able to dream about whomever you want with some regularity isn’t easy. The information given here is only a starting point. Keep thinking about your dreams, including where things tend to go wrong.
At first, I recommend doing the pre-bed visualization with all the methods, so they’ll come to mind if an opportunity presents itself; at the very least, you’ll gain experience from the attempt. After a while, you might find that one of the methods is better suited to the kind of dreams you usually have. If so, by all means focus on that one when you remind yourself through the day and pre-bed time. (I have the most success with #3 and #4, and sometimes #6)
As you gain experience with this form of dream control, you might even think of a way yourself that’s well suited to your dreams.
Ideally, you’ll enjoy the entire process of lucid dreaming and dream control, without getting too frustrated (and I know it can be terribly frustrating, especially when you lose the dream or person at the last moment), keeping in mind that you have a lifetime to practice and explore.
I hope this helps, and keep at it!