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What Do Dreams About an Ex Mean?

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A dream may have a deeper meaning than you realize. Read on to learn more.

A dream may have a deeper meaning than you realize. Read on to learn more.

Why Am I Dreaming About My Ex?

Dreaming of ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, and even ex-friends is one of the most common dream themes. Having an ex pop up in a dream may have a deeper meaning than you realize. Understanding dreams about exes can help you continue to develop as a person, rediscover important aspects of who you are, and move towards feeling complete and whole again. Read on to understand what this dream symbol could mean to you.

1. You Miss Your Ex

Dreaming of getting back together with or having an otherwise positive interaction with your ex may reveal that you miss your ex and continue to have feelings for this individual. This may be a simple wish-fulfillment dream.

Many dreamers jump to the conclusion that dreaming of a marriage proposal from the ex or a promise to not behave in a manner that led to the break up reflects the ex's true feelings. In reality, the feelings expressed by the ex in the dream most likely reflect the feelings of the dreamer. Having a strong reaction to this statement and not being able to entertain the idea that your dream about your ex is telling you anything else besides that this person still loves you and you are destined to be together should show you how strong your hopes and wishes are.

Dreaming of a past relationship may reflect your current stage in grieving the relationship that ended. Perhaps you miss your ex, the companionship, or other positive aspects of the relationship.

Dreaming of your ex over and over again? Read about reoccurring dreams.

2. You Are Processing the Break-Up so That You Can Move On

Dreaming of your ex, your break-up, your relationship with your ex, and all your associated feelings may be helping you process the break-up so that you can move on.

Intimate relationships often bring up past pains and hurts that cut right to our core. It is important to repair the damage before we attempt to move on to a new relationship. Truly processing our thoughts and feelings about the break-up allows us to acknowledge our pain, become more self-aware, and leave the past behind as we repair ourselves and move towards a more positive and fulfilling future.

Relationships, especially unhealthy ones, may leave us feeling as though we cannot stand on our own, that we need someone else to make us happy, and that we are unable to resolve feelings of sadness, loneliness, or boredom without entering into another relationship. If this is the message of your dream, you may need to explore alternative ways to resolve these feelings and build up your own self-esteem and individual identity so that you are able to take on the world again, with or without someone else.

3. You Have Fears of Being Hurt Again

You thought you moved on, but a relationship from your past is haunting you now. Why? Relationships enter our dreamscape when they relate to our current lives in some way. It is important to explore how this ex corresponds to what is happening now for you.

Fears of experiencing the same kind of pain as you did in a past relationship could ruin your current relationship. It is important to separate the two. Every relationship has risk and the potential of hurt. The reason why we enter into relationships is because we find the risk is worth it; we take a leap of faith with the hope of finding a meaningful and fulfilling connection with another person.

Some of these fears may be triggering you to realize your current relationship is following the same pattern as your past relationship. It is important to attempt to objectively review your current relationship. Perhaps you are more keenly aware of some "red flags." Yet, it is also possible you are avoiding your fears within the current relationship and are not looking at it clearly. You may be identifying these red flags now so that you are able to take a new approach in your current and future relationships in order to build a better relationship that better supports you.

It is important to be honest with yourself, review the past relationship, review the current relationship, and determine what you believe is and is not best for your life right now. This will help you understand how past fears may be shading your perception.

4. You Are Now Dealing With Issues You Associate With Your Ex

Relationships can leave scars. Even after we break up with someone, they may still have a continued impact on us. How others we trust and bring into our lives treat us significantly affects our psyches. If your ex put you down, you may have adopted some put-downs yourself and are putting yourself down in automatic inner thoughts without realizing it. Perhaps you felt you were not good enough in the relationship or your ex was cheating on you and you are struggling with learning how to trust others again. Perhaps you are beginning to recognize you were addicted to your ex. All of these issues are important to deal with.

Even when you are not in need of dealing with issues directly related to your relationship, you may be facing issues associated with the time in your life in which the relationship occurred. Perhaps in your dream, your ex is simply acting as a marker in time or an emotional or spiritual thermometer. You may want to ask yourself how your current life relates to that time in your life.

  • What was going on for you during that time in your life?
  • Were you in school?
  • Where were you working?
  • Who were your friends?
  • What did you do with your time?
  • What changed in your life since then?
  • What traumas did you suffer?
  • What life lessons did you learn or try to learn?
  • What mistakes did you make?
  • What did you fail to achieve or what did you miss out on experiencing?

Understanding that your ex may be representing more than the actual person or the nature of your relationship may help you understand what your dream is attempting to tell you.

Dreaming of an ex-wife or an ex-husband in particular may mean that you currently find yourself stuck in a complicated situation or that part of your life's foundation is in need of drastic changes.

5. You Are Reclaiming What You Lost in the Relationship

When we end a relationship, we often sever more ties than we actually need to.

Perhaps you cut ties to friends, hobbies, activities, places, etc. when you ended the relationship. Perhaps severing all of these ties was not necessary and you need to bring some of these things back into your life again.

Perhaps what you severed is something that lies deep inside you. When we lose a relationship, we often lose a part of ourselves along with it. Perhaps that part of us was too closely associated with the relationship and it was too hard to hold onto. Perhaps we disregarded many aspects of who we are simply because they were a reminder of the past relationship.

When we find that we have moved on from a relationship, we may begin to acknowledge the void the relationship has left for us. It is at this time we understand we may need to fill this void ourselves by reclaiming what we mistakenly discarded. We have a tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to relationships. Perhaps who we were, how we thought, the positive aspects of the relationship, and the positive personality traits and ambitions of the ex are all something we can re-claim again. We realize all of these things are not something owned by our ex or something we need to leave in our past. We can begin to re-analyze and re-sort our lives and determine what is no longer helpful for us and what we need to continue to value and hold onto.

Also, dreaming of relationships from when we were younger with less responsibilities may be telling us to bring back the joy, excitement, playfulness, and passion of our youth into our current relationship/marriage.

6. Your Ex Represents a Repressed Part of Your Psyche

Dreams can become complicated when the symbol we are faced with has little to do with the issue at all and more to do with the structure of our psyche.

Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst that worked under Sigmund Freud, theorized that we have archetypes in our subconscious that allow us to understand our current psychological development and needs. Your ex may be associated with Carl Jung's concept of the anima (for men) or animus (for women). Jung theorized that we fragment our personalities only to have to re-integrate all that we have repressed or dissociated from back into our identity in order to feel complete and whole. Creating another character in our dreams allows us to disown our own thoughts, feelings, and desires in a clever way while still giving them room for expression.

The anima/animus is the opposite gender from the dreamer and often represents traits they never found appropriate ways to express and now see as outside of themselves. For example, a woman may identify traits of aggression, assertiveness, and lust as socially inappropriate or undesirable for women so she may dream of an animus with these traits instead. A man may identify more feminine traits such as expressing emotion, crying, fear, and feeling vulnerable and weak as undesirable and may dream of his anima possessing these traits.

If you ex is representing your anima/animus, then this dream may be showing you that you have not integrated the seemingly opposite traits possessed by your anima/animus into your identity and you need to acknowledge, express, and get in touch with this side of yourself.

This dream interpretation would mean that your ex is not representing your ex at all but is only an aspect of your own psyche which is currently unexpressed and cast away—you have broken up with yourself.

Interpreting this type of dream as a sign that you should re-connect with your ex will not only leave this issue unresolved but will also complicate the issue further. This dream is giving you the message that you need to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself; don't distract yourself by misplacing your energy into external relationships at the moment.

According to Carl Jung's concept of archetypes, an ex may represent your anima/animus, one of many aspects of who you are that need to be re-integrated into your identity.

According to Carl Jung's concept of archetypes, an ex may represent your anima/animus, one of many aspects of who you are that need to be re-integrated into your identity.

The Meaning of Dreams About an Ex

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 Sue B.


Sue B. (author) on July 26, 2014:

Nicole Hering- thank you for sharing your dream!

Dreams can have many meanings and only you know the true meaning. The dream could reflect how you believe your ex feels yet could also reflect what you WISH his feelings to be it reflect your current feelings for him.

The storm in the dream would symbolize an emotional storm for me. Since it keeps you there, I would wonder if you feel stuck or trapped. The looming tornado may relate to your fears that the emotional situation had the potential to destroy you.

Nicole Kristine from MN on July 24, 2014:

I feel as if my dream of an ex is showing me how he feels about me at present towards me... I don't know though. The dream I had frightened me as I never think of him or bother to. In the dream I go into a restaurant and he and a friend of his are there and say that I'm still good looking to each other and I hear them and feel humiliated that they're commenting about me. Then he tries to go over to talk to me and I try to run away while he pleads that he just wants to talk to me. I'm forced to stay at the restaurant though because a freak storm happens. He and I end up sitting next to each other waiting out a tornado. We do not speak, except that he glanced at me a few times.

Sue B. (author) on October 06, 2013:


Thank you for sharing your dream experience. I find dreams about exes to relate to the feelings we feel are inappropriate. In our waking lives, we may rationalize how this person is not good for us in some way and may decide to break up even though this may be painful. In our dreams, we continue to express the irrational feelings we have and allow ourselves to work through them in order to find a way to move on.

oldiesmusic from United States on October 03, 2013:

I often dream about him... and yeah, I miss him. I know I had to move on, but there are times that I wish I could be with him.

Sue B. (author) on August 29, 2013:


Thank you for commenting. Dreams of an ex aren't always a big deal for people. Although they can reflect some heavy emotions we have for our ex or the break up, the ex can also symbolize something specific to us such as the time period we were with them or something we have detached from or left in our past. I find it interesting to learn of new meanings this symbol has for people.

Adrian Cloute from Cedartown, GA on August 26, 2013:

I think that it's hard not to think about an ex. I think that just because it's something I dream about it's not a big deal.

Sue B. (author) on July 15, 2013:

Marion Langley-

Thank you for sharing your experience. I find dreamwork so powerful when we look at our dreams over time, across changes. Dreams can truly be an indicator light showing us what is wrong or telling us how we are doing. From my perspective, I believe you not only worked on yourself and your relationships on a conscious level but also worked through unconscious issues within your dreams.

Happy dreaming!

marion langley from The Study on July 05, 2013:

The break up was so abrupt and the cut off of all communication that followed left me so confused. It was years later, when we finally spoke, that the questions were finally answered and closure attained. Now the dreams are more few and far between and I suspect merely reflect that I hope the other is ok. My current relationship is so much healthier thanks to better decisions. Thanks for writing and encouraging people to seek out answers.

Sue B. (author) on March 09, 2013:


Storms are often associated with emotional turmoil. In this case, it seems like the emotional storm is from her or associated with her. I would guess you anticipate being with her would result in more of the same.

What does strike me is how you are saying she just won't let it go. How does this factor into your decisions? She can be stuck on something, but how is this affecting you? I am wondering if you need to evaluate your own feelings, your own thoughts right now and determine what is best for you. Being swayed by someone who we find unhealthy for us simply because they are persistent seems rather harmful and it also shows us we may not be as empowered or active in our lives as we need to be. Relationships are your decision. you can choose to disengage with someone and you can choose to begin a relationships. relationships are not something we fall into or we give into, we need to make active choices.

Sue B. (author) on March 09, 2013:

Sweet Razzy-

My first impression of your dream is that you are hoping your ex has feelings for you and you wish he would come back to you. The idea that he is wearing this ring sounds like you wish he has a secret commitment to you. Although I cannot speak of what is meant to be, you seem like you are hoping you two are meant to be together and that the universe is somehow bringing you two together. Since his proposal to someone else is in contrast to this belief, you may be experiencing some feelings of pain and rejection all over again.

Sue B. (author) on March 09, 2013:


This dream about your ex sounds like it is relating some unconscious suspicions and thoughts. This may be why you struggled to understand your dream.

Since you are talking to your ex, this dream sounds like it is reflecting your question of how honest your ex is actually being with you. It could also reflect your current feelings and current fears.

This dream may be reflecting the hurt and confusion you feel as you process the break up and begin to move on. The pregnancy for the ex would likely be a growth and development of a relationship with someone else.

Although he is telling you he wants to take things slow and isn't sure about being in love, you may be questioning the sincerity of his statements. You may also be processing your own feelings of hurt associated with the relatioinship.

ditto903 on March 05, 2013:

hello Sue

i slept at my x girlfriends place some time last week and i had a dream about her that very night. we used to fight a lot and we had a very nasty break-up. now she says shes changed and she want to leave the past in the past and that we should have a peaceful co-existence after how she said she hated me and swore to make my life miserable. she wants me back but im rather reluctant to date her again but she just wont let go.

about the dream...i saw stars in the sky, pacing haphazardly and suddenly an explosion in the sky. the clouds then fell down (in the form of a tornado) and touched down on the ground, it was all scary like a big storm is coming so i ran away. to my surprise she ran towards the storm, stood just in front of that tornado cloud and there was a lot of lightning which was all hitting her but it did not bother her coz it didn't harm her. it was as if the lighting and the storm were all hers and she just looked at me and smiled. i was terrified and i couldn't understand what was going on.

what do u think of this dream Sue?and im thinkin getting back together with her would be the biggest mistake of my life but she just wont let go. this is just one of the wired dreams i had about her

Sweet Razzy on March 02, 2013:

I had a dream last night that I was at my parents home with my children and nieces. My parents were in the kitchen cooking and I was in a bedroom with my former boyfriend/lover and a mutual friend. We were sitting and talking they are both supposed to be getting married soon however in the dream the friend was wearing a wedding band I asked him was he married already and he said yes and moved to the other side of the room. He kept looking at my former lover and I though. I walked out to check the children I could see my parents in the kitchen and then I sat on some stairs and my former boyfriend was sitting beside me. He was rubbing my back and asking me if I was ok because I started to cry. I asked why he left me and never married the other girl. He smiled and said he was sorry. Then the dream changed to a famous comedian telling someone that he had a particular ring long before he ever met that person but I could not see the face of the other person. I often dream of my ex and then a few days later I will see him out somewhere. We always reconnect but he proposed to another girl last year.

mbird on February 25, 2013:


Thank you for this article. It is very helpful to read about all these different interpretation options, but I still don't seem to be able to figure out what my dream means... Maybe you can help me out..?

In my dream I was meeting my old neighbour (she is still living across the street of my ex boyfriend and my old house).

She was telling me that my ex-boyfriend was trying to get pregnant with his current girlfriend (we were together for almost 7 yrs, they got together less than a month after we broke up) and that they wanted to have 2 children.

My sister was also there and the neighbour made her call my ex to check out how much of it was true.

I was only observing, feeling very confused, since he has been telling me that he wants to take things slow with this new one and isn't sure about being 'in love; with her.

The neighbour was telling everything in a way that it was totally normal for her to be telling me this.

Suddenly, while my sister was on the phone, I woke up...

I'm really upset and don't know what to think of this dream.

Usually I can 'read' the symbols but this time, I can't.

Please help me...

Thank you.

Sue B. (author) on February 23, 2013:


Thanks for sharing your dream. Breaks up can be hard especially when the person seems incapable of reciprocating your level of love and commitment for them.

My first impression of your dream is that you are working out feelings for your ex. I would not assume your dream reflects anything but your own thoughts and feelings. I would also see your dream as a wish fulfillment dream- a dream fulfilling your wish to have this guy act in a way that is appropriate and suitable for you to be an adult and loving relationship with him. It is wise to separate what you wish would happen versus what information you are actually getting for your ex in reality.

nicole2331 on February 17, 2013:

My name Nicole n I was withthis guy for a period of tim we have a son together. N 2011 I got pregnant n I dumped him. He wanted to get back together. We did... We got into a small fight n I told him I wasn't letting him back in. So five minutes later he said he was engaged to be married n she would let him in her house. We and him remained to talk after the break up. But one every moment he got he'd try to leave her for me. But I would reject hym each time. Six months ago he came to me and said he was getting a divorce n he wanted me to be with him. Certainly I said no.. but lately ive been dreaming about him sitting in a car telling me he wAnt to be with me. And dream to where we are in a private room and he's asking me am I ready to be with him and I said yes. I also had a dream that we was traveling on the highwAY. And I looked n saw him. I felt at peace and I felt like I was the only one he loves. I know he was talking to the other woman. But by him marrying her because I wouldn't let.him in our home. Did he marry her be ause he lo er her truly or was it for the circumstNce and why M I dreaming these things

Sue B. (author) on February 13, 2013:


Thank you for sharing your dream. It seems like you have a lot of insight into your feelings and where this dream is coming from. I would think since you did not want your best friend to come between you two, you probably don't want her to invade your dreams either which is likely why you are dreaming of her. I would think you are dreaming of what is unresolved that you are still working out, processing and accepting so you can move on. Some of your hurt feelings is not only associated with your ex but your friend. These dreams may also help you see the break up from different angles. It may be difficult to see how both contributed to hurting you. We have a tendency to want to blame only one person and my shift blame from one to another.

iiiAlisha on February 12, 2013:

I keep having dreams about my ex yes i was in love with him and i think i still am now. we broke up because i didn't trust him, he went behind my back and started seeing one of my best friends which i don't talk to anymore because of what shes done (got in between us) . every time i dream about him shes in it what could this whole thing mean. ive had dreams about him 5-6 times and shes been in at least 4 of them.

Sue B. (author) on February 01, 2013:


This dream about your ex sounds like it could be an Anima dream. The Anima is the unconscious feminine aspect of self and is a theory of Carl Jung's. This is a common dream archetype. Since this is an ex, it would relate to a part of self you disowned and broke up with and are reuniting with in some way. The dream would show your progress towards reuniting and marrying this part of self. Things didn't fit and felt wrong- things are foggy, the family behaves differently and the ceremony is foreign. This would relate to moving towards integrating this part of self again but not feeling completely ready. The scene on the cruise sounds like it relates to what is occurring within you as you take an inward journey. The glass walls may show how delicate and vulnerable you are. The kiss would relate to the start of gaining intimate knowledge.

Sue B. (author) on February 01, 2013:


This dream sounds like you are processing your feelings about this break up. It sounds like you are moving towards accepting that there is someone new and you need to move on. Breaking the heart shaped chalk would relate to a broken heart but maybe also breaking the idea of the relationship so you can move forward. Being at the outlet mall would likely symbolize shopping around for something that you need and something new. It sounds like you may be in a place where you may feel lost or are not sure what direction to take next.

Sue B. (author) on January 31, 2013:


I could see your dream in two different ways. On one hand, it could relate to how you are processing relationships and break ups and coming to terms with the past in order to heal the present and improve your current relationship.

On the other hand, your boyfriend, ex and his girlfriend could all represent aspects of self that you are communicating with and becoming more familiar with. It seems like you are working towards achieving inner peace. The ex could relate to a part of self you have disowned before and are finding a new place for within your waking life. Perhaps you threw the baby out with the bath water and are going back to salvage something important within yourself.

cazuza on January 25, 2013:

Last night i had a dream with my ex who i have only spoken to once or twice a year since we ended our relationship 4 years ago, we are on good term but due to distance and general awkwardness we don't really talk. My dream started with me meeting her at a job conferences where we ended up going out for coffee after that image i flip to a moment where i propose to her and she says yes next i flip to the day im getting married and this is the most vivid part of the dream. im there all dressed at the altar im pure white and i see my parents and im feeling all these intensely strong emotions that i assume i would feel when i get married someday. then my ex starts walking down the isle in the puresst white i have ever seen. on one side is my family but nothing is clear its very foogy on her side her family is this roudy italian family where she is polish also i end up having a jewish wedding whre as i am not jewish and neither is she. after tht the honeymoon is on a cruise but during the day i can't seem to find her no matter how hard i search when i finally give up for the day and go back to our room, which ends up being on a tower on the cruise and the walls are all made of glass, i see her on the bed waiting for me when im about to kiss her i woke up shivering

Honeyloveee on January 24, 2013:

Last night I had a dream I was at my exes house with my mother And his he came from school and we had a positive conversation can't remember what he said but then he left a few minutes his his current girlfriend showed up she saw me but acted as if she didn't see me I tried leaving with out her noticing but then heard her telling my exes mom "I don't want her here anymore" I left and kept walking by myself and ended up at like an outlet mall and walked around breaking this heart shaped chalk singing and then my dream ended.. Do you know what this could mean?

Maria1321 on January 22, 2013:

I keep having dreams of my current boyfriend, my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend as well. It's strange because in the dream we aren't really doing anything crazy its just us sitting down talking. I also had a dream with my current, his ex and her current boyfriend as well... N in my last nights dream it was my ex coming to my house to talk to me, and shortly after my current comes to pick me up. I have been having dreams like this for about a month now n I have been with my current boyfriend for 3 months now, but I have never in my life had such strange dreams.

Sue B. (author) on January 21, 2013:


Your dream about your ex makes me wonder if you are ready to put any issues you have with your ex (or something he is representing) to rest.

The white pajama could relate to a clean slate. The yellow walls could relate to either happiness or insecurity. The green bed could relate to either self-love or jealousy. It could relate to either the feelings you are processed and letting go of or the feelings you currently have.

IsisPorto on January 21, 2013:

I never dreamed with my ex until last night. My ex was sleeeping and then he opened the door of the bedroom and invite me to go in. The bed was clean and was made up. It was green and the walls were yellow. He was dressed with a white pijama. I asked him if he slept there and he said yes. Then he went to the bed and told me"Come on, let's sleep. I am prepared now. " At that moment I woke up.

Sue B. (author) on January 21, 2013:

In love with love-

Your dream of your ex seems to be a rather literal reflection of your feelings and fears. Since you would actually react this way if he found out this man was with someone else and having a child, it seems to be an emotional reflection.

Since this experience still stays with you, it may be beneficial to truly sit with your feelings, explore why you felt you loved him yet left him, and where your feelings are now. This dream may be showing you that you need some emotional healing as well as an emotional exploration into self.

Sue B. (author) on January 21, 2013:


This dream about your ex sounds like it is reflecting your inner world. I would guess your ex is representing an aspect of self you have somehow left behind and may need to reconnect with but have mixed feelings about.

If you are running in circles, perhaps you feel you are not getting anywhere right now. Are you stuck?

Wanting your partner to save you from something could relate to you not wanting to confront something within yourself. Your ex could be a part of self you have disowned and cast aside.

Being at the chemist would relate to seeking healing yet also seeking a way to escape feelings. Looking sad gives me the impression you may be using manipulation in your life that may not be benefiting you.

In love with love on January 16, 2013:

I'm 18, and about a year ago I lost my virginity to a guy and I instantly became attached. I f ell deeply for him and the feeling was mutual. I'm not sure why I left him, I guess his reputation with the ladies got to me and I became very insecure. Well about two months after I left him I had a miscarriage and I had no idea I was pregnant. I was horrified and at the same time I wondered what life would've been like if I were to have the child of the man I love. It's been about a year since that mess and I took a nap, I dreamt that I ran into him at my job and he himself told me that he was going to be a father. Another woman was carrying his child, and I ran off yelling and crying begging him to leave. And I literally woke up in fear and in tears. I'm afraid of that. What should I take from this? What does it mean?

goodfeelings on January 14, 2013:

I have been having very vivid dreams the last week or so.. they're actually driving me a bit nuts trying to decipher them! Last night the dream was that I was running laps of an oval, my current partner was there (who I adore, and treats me so well and equal) either as a presence in my thoughts or in a dark coloured car that was parked at the oval. Next thing I know is I'm asking my current partner if it's ok if my ex comes to pick me up to take me to his parents house. My ex was driving and we were in the car that he had when we were together. I don't remember what he was saying, but I remember thinking to myself that I don't want to see his parents and wishing I could contact my current partner to come and save me. Eventually I told my ex that I felt really sick and we had to go to the chemist. In the chemist I found some tablets, and I remember my face was drawn down the entire time, like I was really trying to express to him that I was 'sad'... and that's where it ended. I was with my ex for 5 years and we ended 2 years ago. We were each others' first 'real' relationship and each others' first sexual partner. We have no hostile feelings toward each other, and I broke it off which he took really badly. He still see's and contacts my family. I often wish he could meet my current partner to see how happy we are.

I hope you can help me understand how my inner world is working right now! x

Sue B. (author) on January 05, 2013:


Dreaming about an ex seems to be the most popular article I have! I believe it is so common because relationships are so important to us. For you, it sounds like your dreams are showing you that you are not addressing the hurt from this past relationship and need to confront it, process it and work it out so that you can move forward. Dreams become nightmares when we are not addressing a very important emotional issue. If you continue to be stuck over time and it feel increasingly bothersome to you, a therapist may be able to shed light on how you could resolve this for yourself.

Sue B. (author) on December 30, 2012:


Thank you for sharing your dream. It sounds like your dreams are showing you that you have unresolved issues and feelings related to your ex. Since you have these dreams very often, I would venture to guess you are not addressing these issues. It is possible it is hard for you to truly move on since you may have started to date someone new before gaining closure. It sounds like your past relationship is having a negative effect on your current relationship. If I was in this situation, I would want to review my current relationship. Often times we think of our last relationship when our current relationship is not what we want or need. Although natural, we want to get to a point where we look forward instead of backward. I would evaluate the hear and now, do some soul searching and reflect on the possibility that I may need to explore myself further and develop and heal myself if I may not be comfortable being out of a relationship. We tend to develop the most fulfilling relationships when we already feel fulfilled and content when we are single before we start a relationship.

stanbyrd17 on December 29, 2012:

Yes,I keep on dreaming about my ex friend in which she a married woman, it starting to become a nightmare to me, I do not even think her or the people around I move on, so can explains why she popping up in my dream and to honest I don't like anymore because the way she treated me. I wanted stop where can I get some advice or dream interpreter. Stanford

Elocindb on December 29, 2012:


I had been dating a guy for four and a half years, then we broke up and I've been in a relationship since..(2 years). I can honestly say that I dream about the ex every night. Most of the time I'm ok with this, but like this morning I woke up and am extremely sad. 7 times out of 10 I find the dreams to be asking him to come back, or like last night, begging him. The first few months from the break up was extremely hard for me, because I received a text message saying that this is his new girlfriend, stop talking to him, etc and it really caught me off guard, because I didn't know he even thought about being in another relationship and never spoke a word about it. This day, I'm ok with the point that he's moved on, I still think about him all the time, and I never do get to talk to him, so it baffles me why i almost always dream about him.

Help! :)

Sue B. (author) on December 23, 2012:


This dream sounds like it could relate to two different things.

1. You could be dreaming of what could have been or be wondering what it could be like to be with someone else or what other potential relationship you could have with someone else.

2. The guy from middle school could represent your Animus, the unconscious masculine aspect of self. These dreams may be showing you an internal conflict and your difficulty honoring one side of self within your relationship or internally but with struggles.

Sue B. (author) on December 23, 2012:


Thank you for sharing your dreams. It sounds like you are processing a lot of emotions. The bathroom in particular tends to relate to emotional management. Although you may not want him back or believe you have feelings for him, you may still be healing and feeling very hurt over the relationship. It sounds like you may need to continue to heal in order to be ready for a new relationship in the future.

You may have a lot of thoughts you need to work out. Am I not worthy of love? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? Am I lacking something? Although you may want to move on, it sounds like it is important to explore how injured you feel from this experience so you can heal, learn from the relationship and move on.

xoxogossipgoat on December 11, 2012:

Hello, I am in relationship, probably one of the best ones I have ever been in. I have been with him for about 5 months. But I was having dreams about a guy I knew from middle school. I am 19 now, and I was 12-14 then. So it was quite a bit ago. I never dated him, but we both had an interest in each other. One day I finally found the courage to tell him, before the last week of school. But he told me he was not going to be going to school next year, that he was going to be homeschooled or something. I don't remember. Anyway that was the end of that and o quickly got over it and fell in love with my ex, who I dated on and off for six years. During that time i had been at random getting dreams about that boy, too many for comfort. Id say like 5? They were of him usually provocative in some manner. I didn't get any while single of course. Only while dating someone. I had been clear on getting those kindof dreams up until last night. They don't often happen as you can see but the fact that I still get them concerns me. I was in my old highschool and I was in class with my current boyfriend who wasn't really in the dream much. Then the guy I liked long ago came about, I ran over and hugged him. And I couldn't help it I made out with him. Even though in the dream I was feeling strong guilt and trying to get out of it. I felt awful and trapped. Like I had no control over it, but I still in the dream felt like I did. It would eat me away inside knowingly cheating on someone who would never do that to me. Every moment of the dream I was with the guy I felt like I was fighting it on the inside, but just going along with it anyway. It was a vivid very clear emotion distinction that I was scared and stressed out about what I was going to do about it. Like what I was going to tell my boyfriend, and how I was going to get rid of the guy from middle school. The sad part is for a bit of it when he (guy from middle school) would snuggle me and I would think about how I could just break up with my current boyfriend and that would solve the guilt over the cheating I can't control. That the guy from middle school is decent, and that I could possibly be happy with him instead. I felt like a coward and how badly I wanted to take back doing anything with the guy. How regret it, and how I don't deserve him, that he doesn't deserve this. I liked the physical things that were being done to me like the guy grinding into me from behind as I would bend over. It was weirdly comforting? My current boyfriend wasn't there. He was kindof hiding our relationship and wouldn't cuddle me so I felt bad. I was at the same school as him and the guy from middle school had started telling people I was his girlfriend and when my boyfriend found out he was angry and confused. I freaked out and wanted to tell him I can't help it, that I was sorry and that I didn't want it, that if I could I would break up with the guy and only have him. But I didn't, I couldn't control it, I told him it was a joke. I lied to him. He bought it. I felt like it was a constant power struggle, and when I woke up it felt real still. Like the emotions were there and apparent to an extent I felt the need to text my boyfriend that I would never cheat on him. After a few mins I came to terms that it was just a Nightmare, a very cruel nightmare. But it has me questioning myself and the relationship. Why would I subconciously seek affection elsewhere? why some guy from middleschool, and why do I still feel guilty if it were just a dream? One that I couldn't control at that. I am a pretty honest person with myself, I don't have interest in any one else in my life. Anyway that is what happened to me. I wish it hadn't, I feel like something is wrong with me mentally for dreaming about some kid I used to like. Sorry for this being so long and drawn out. I feel guilty and bad. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

breezej on December 06, 2012:

I've had about 6-7 dreams about a man I had strong feelings for. We had one of those relationships were your sexual, show affection, and very open with each other but you're just not "boyfriend and girlfriend". This went on for about 8 months, but he just "didn't want any obligations" and I was the one whos feeling got all caught up. I guess even minimally he qualifies as an.X because weth admitted that we were only seeing ear when we were involved. Long story short he strung me along and I ended up very hurt and in some ways Istill recovering. In the thick of things it's understandable for me to dream.of him, but now that it's over and I've accepted were not going to be together these vivid dreams are literally scaring me. It's like he haunts me and I wont be able to move on. These dreams are very specific and I hope they're not trying to foreshadow anything I just want to move on.

First I had a dream that he in love with another girl

For some reason we were in the same room together, and he was on Facebook looking at her profile right in front of me saying "I love her so much, I'm totally in love with her"

Then we were at some formal (like prom but I've been out of HS) with the same group of people, some girls some guys, and when I look back over my shoulder he's with and talking to some other girl and I get all mad and walk away... There was another dude, I was with he was actually really handsome, but for some reason I didn't wanna talk to him (6 days in between)

Then I had ANOTHER dream about him. This time I was in my catering uniform(I met him on the job in.real life), wandering through a huge venue more like a hotel though. I was chatting with a male coworker, and he had to use the bathroom. We walk over to the men's room, which had a swinging door.. the door swung so wide open I can see everything in the bathroom. There he was making out with another girl, getting hot & heavy while she was held up against the urinal. I was angry. These were all within 2 weeks in November

Sue B. (author) on December 02, 2012:


Dreaming of your ex could relate to many things, as you already read in this hub. If the sex is great and you continue to think of it, you do have some feelings for him- attraction, desire, etc.

It might be a good time to explore your own inner self and begin to grow and develop further before you decide to pursue a rewarding and fulfilling relationship with someone else.

confusedcat on November 27, 2012:

Is it normal for me to dream about an ex who I'm currently having sex with until now? I know I don't have feelings for him anymore, but the sex is great! He pops up in my dreams every now and them, mostly when I'm stressed at work. I'm single, no boyfriend, and I like my life that way. Can you help me clarify this?

Sue B. (author) on November 27, 2012:


Thank you for sharing your dream.

To answer some of your questions, I think your dream does mean something. I think there is a way for you to make your dreams stop- by resolving the issues they are presenting to you. And, I think this is normal and I do not see you making a big deal over nothing- this dream sounds significant to your growth and development.

Your dreams sound rather layered. They may reflect some hopes and dreams as well as feelings for your ex but it also sounds like your dreams are reflecting an inner dynamic and unconscious aspects that self that need expression.

Dreaming of being pregnant and having a child (besides the obvious meaning of desire) could relate to the potential for growth, caring for your inner child, and what your are nurturing in your life.

I am sure it is nagging on your mind that your dreams are predicting the future or showing you the future you are now missing because you two broke up. Although anything is possible, that wouldn't be my first impression of these dreams. He may have played a significant part of your life and the relationship and the lessons you have learned through this experience and break up may be helping you grow and develop as you set the stage for your future.

Sue B. (author) on November 24, 2012:


Thank you for sharing your dream.

This dream sounds like it is reflecting some of your feelings and fears related to your ex. Since you are still in love with her and are now broken up, the dream may be displaying some feelings of anger and fears that she will move on.

This sounds like a time in which you need to evaluate what you want. It is possible you need to resolve these feelings and move on but it is also possible you may choose to attempt to reconnect with your ex and repair the relationship.

MsPriszie on November 21, 2012:

My ex cheated on me and left me for the other girl 2 months ago. Before he cut me completely out of his life he told me that his life was getting difficult and we couldn't be together right now. He told me to wait for him. Well I haven't seen or heard from him since we broke up. I am over the situation and am actively moving on with my life. We met almost 2 years ago. We were together for 9 months. I have been dreaming about him since I met him. These dreams have been extremely weird. One of the first dreams I had, my his, his mom and I went out to lunch. I was pregnant. At that time, I had no idea what his mom really looked like. Then when I finally saw her, she looked almost exactly like the lady that was in my dream. In another dream,( and this oneis creepy) he died. Then he came back as a ghost and touched me while I was asleep. Later on in my dream, I found out I was pregnant. About 3 or 4 months into our relationship I dreamt that we had a daughter. She looked like my ex, had his mother's hair, had his complexion, and she was 3. Since we broke up, I've been dreaming about him almost every single night. One night, I dreamt that he was chasing me through the city. Another night I dreamt that we were having a casual conversation one the phone about the situation but neither one of us were hostile. Here's the really weird part. 2 nights ago, I had the dream about us having a daughter again. The only difference is that in this dream we were separated. She looked exactly the same and she was 3. Any insight on this? Do these dreams mean anything? Is there any way to make them stop? Is this normal or am I just making a big deal over nothing?

Sue B. (author) on November 17, 2012:


I would first perceive these dreams as wish fulfillment dreams. Dreaming that your ex is missing you, that you need to choose, that he wants to ask you out instead of a new girl all sound like things you wish would happen. The dream may also be reflecting your current feelings. The people in our dreams often demonstrate our feelings about them. So if your ex is telling you he misses you, it could really mean you miss him, etc.

Sue B. (author) on November 12, 2012:


it sounds like your dream reflects some feelings and a lack of closure. When our current relationships are troubled, we often look back at our past relationships instead of looking forward. I would think part of the feelings coming up is the fear that you are losing your "back up" now that your ex is engaged to be married. Perhaps it was always comforting to you that you had someone who loved you to fall back on. Although broken up, his engagement is a change in your relationship with him. You still have a relationship now even if it is not a romantic one.

If you feel you have a gut feeling that your husband is cheating on you, it is important to confront it and resolve it. You could be wrong. If you are wrong, it is likely your gut reaction is reacting to the past, your fears, and is having a negative impact on your relationship. If you are correct, then it is important for you to evaluate your relationships and address issues.

joeke on November 06, 2012:

Me and my ex-girlfriend broke up about two months ago. I left her because all we did was argue. She has been over hanging out the last three weeks. Neither ever cheated. Last night she was over here with my best friend and his ex-girlfriend.

I had a dream that night that seemed very real. Every time I looked down my ex was staring at my bestfriend and my best friend was staring at her. I got so angry, I even woke up angry. I thought it was so real I asked her why she would do something like that to me and she said "I have no idea what you are talking about". After thinking I realized I was having a dream. Now Im confused about the dream. I love her and all but we argued a lot because of my family and friends saying things about her and she always denied it. Most times I found out she was the one telling the truth. Someone help please.

cew0009 on November 04, 2012:

I was in a two year relationship that ended out of nowhere almost a year ago. I have been in a new relationship for about 6 months now. I have seen my ex boyfriend out at the bars recently, and have talked to some of his friends (I am a senior in college.)

Recently I have been having very vivid dreams about my ex. I have 2 types of dreams about my ex. The first is where he comes back and tells me how much he misses me and I end up having to choose between him and my current boyfriend. I have chosen my ex a few times, or I wake up before my choice.

The second dream I am having is like last night's. I went out to eat with some of my girlfriends and my ex is at the restaurant on a date with some other girl. He ends up coming over to me and saying he really wanted to ask me on a date.

I'm not sure what these dreams mean. Please help!

imbroken on November 03, 2012:

Hi sue...

I had such a weird dream lastnight about my ex... and I'm a little confused cause both of us are in new relationships.. we've been broken up for about 5yrs already... I am remarried and he is engaged to be married.. however he does tell me that he don't want to Marty her and still tries to get back with me all the time... we have a daughter together and share visitation, so we do see each other quite often... my dream lastnight was weird... basically we were in high school and he was supposed to marry me, I showedup in school in a wedding dress and he was still with his current girl, I seen her in my dream too... so I showed up in the dress and he wouldn't come over to me... I felt devastated. Finally he came over to me and told me he loves me and that we will be together... then I woke up... here's the thing... I've been having some gut feelings that my current husband has been cheating, but he's always with me... I'm nit sure what this dream means, but like I said my ex still tries to be back with me even though we are both in new relationships... he tells me he loves me and I should leave my husband for him and we will be happy.... I refuse to do that since I TRULY love my husband, but I'm nit sure why my ex is popping up in my ex and I split up cause he did cheat.. hope you can help me figure this out.. thanks Sue... ♡ BROKEN.

Sue B. (author) on November 02, 2012:


These dreams lead me to believe you need closure but not from him, from within yourself in some way. These dreams sound disturbing for you but they may be helping you accept the break up, understand the relationship and move on with additional personal insight and knowledge.

This rejection seems to have hit your hard. This may be something to explore. Relationships often trigger our core issues and may be an opportunity to address them. The issues we have and the emotional luggage we bring to each relationships could have a negative effect on the relationship. Resolving these issues could help you have a more positive and fulfilling relationship with someone new in the future.

xstina on October 25, 2012:

I was in a two year relationship and he broke up with me on text message. He told me he realized he didn't love me and had been in denial for a long time. He added that he missed his friends and wanted to hang out. When i asked why he hadn't told me before he said he defaults to tell people what they want to hear. That was 2 months ago. I have been having almost daily nightmares about him from him laying beside me to last nights dream: I was asking him for some closure and he told me that i was the biggest mistake he ever made and he never loved me. These dreams haunt me all day and I need to know what they mean and how to stop them. It disrupts my sleep and also affects my mood during the day.

Sue B. (author) on October 13, 2012:


This dream sounds like it is showing you your feelings and you are processing them. This dream may be prompting you to address the reason that caused you to reject his proposal in the first place. Was this fear? Was there an element in the relationship you were not happy with? Were you simply not ready to be married at that time?

As for your ex, what he wants, feels, thinks, chooses to do is out of your control just like your rejection to him was not in his control. If I was in your shoes, I would repair the friendship, understand his feelings, and go from there.

sandrra on October 13, 2012:

a frnd of mine told me he loves me and i knew i loved him but because of wat people were sayin i rejected his proposal and now i keep dreamin abt him and i get get him out of my mind but we do nt speak to each other i keep dreamin abt us being together and in love but he doesn't want to make a move again wat do i do

Sue B. (author) on October 05, 2012:

cats meowy-

If you feel like this is a biological clock dream and it likely is. I would see it as a combination of you reconciling different aspects of self, looking back and what could have been, and a desire for a child.

This dream hints that you may be tied to your ex emotionally yet may not have been happy with the nature of the relationship and know it is not a healthy relationship to be in.

Another perspective would be that all characters in the dream are aspects of you- your ex, the child, his mother. You take on all of these points of view. The loss of the child could be a loss of potential.

if this were my dream, i would want to acknowledge the lost opportunity and acknowledge the reasons why I was unhappy in the relationship- I want to be valued. You are looking back in this dream and recognizing a lost opportunity. This does not mean you cannot look forward and find a different yet similar opportunity in the future.

Sue B. (author) on September 27, 2012:


Break ups can mean so much more for us than just an end to a relationship. In this dream, it sounds like you are dealing with how she wanted something else (shopping around) and was headed in an opposite direction from you and is now gone/absent from your life. Did it feel as though she slipped right through your fingers? Seeing that someone wants something else or something you cannot give can be an injury to the ego.

You ask when the dreams will end. They should change over time as you process the break up, your feelings about abandonment and re-calibrate psychologically in order to fulfill a need she may have been fulfilling for you. This will take time and will be gradual. If you feel as though you are being tortured by your dreams or they are not progressing, you may want to consider seeing a therapist who may help you identify areas that need your attention faster than you would on your own.

Sue B. (author) on September 26, 2012:


my first impression of your dream is that you would like to find a way to force yourself back into your ex's life and break into his heart. Perhaps part of you believes if he only saw you again or if you could only get his attention enough things will work out and you'll get back together.

The dream sounds like it has an element of wish fulfillment. It might even relate to an aspect of self dream as well.

Sue B. (author) on September 25, 2012:


Dreams can be complicated at dreams the older we get, it seems, seem even more complicated. I think your dream is about so much more than either being afraid of being unfaithful again or finally closing the door.

I think this dream is showing you that you have some unresolved feelings that need to be addressed before you can fully commit to the man you feel you truly love. These feelings may not be so much about your ex as much as about yourself, the nature of your relationship with your ex and the parts of self you lost going through that experience and breaking it off with this person.

Did you learn of new character traits you may not necessarily like since going through this abusive relationship? Maybe you have disowned parts of yourself as you broke up with this ex. The dream could also show you how your ex influences your relationship now, how easy it is to take an unhealthy turn, and could be reminding you to continue to work on the issues that led you to make unhealthy decisions and accept to be treated in an unhealthy manner.

cats meowy on September 21, 2012:

I had a very vivid ... very realistic dream last night. I was looking for an ex lover, and he wanted me to continue to see him.... yet hide me from his friends and family. I was walking away as I didn't want to hidden or treated as something to be ashamed of. I looked back to him home one last time to walk away.... yet there was something tying us together ..bounding us on a deep emotional /spiritual level...we were connected...and I walked away ... and as i turned back i see my newborn baby girl all bunndled up in pink a moses basket...she was on his door step... wanting me to be her mother. I walked up to her she looked like me as a baby but with bright bluegrey eyes.. and reddish hair. she looked at if i could read her mind ... calling me to her. i grabed her up held her ... and the ex came to me saying she's ours .. its our baby girl....she as beautiful as you.. he smilied ... and said not to run away from his love...and if I left and never came back..out sweet lil baby girl would disappear .. and be forever gone...he looked sad...i walked away saying i don't have a baby i never have ... how could it be..??? his mother was lurking through the window at me... wanted to keep us apart...i walked away ..andtried to take my baby....and i held her....and i looked down and the baby was gone.....

what the heck does this mean? im single 37 never married.. no children... never had a baby ..and thinking is this my biological clock making me want a bay...?

JD on September 20, 2012:

I was married nearly 10 years, had 3 children together. She left me 7 months ago. I have dreamt of her nearly every night since that day. The most common re-occuring dream is her and I walking in a shopping mall. We find the store she wants to go to, she enters the changing room to try something on which always takes too long so I enter the change room. It is empty. When I leave the room I see her outside the store walking in the opposite direction but she always looks at me through the window and smiles. When I run out the shop to meet her I don't see her anywhere. What does it mean and when will it end.

brinaa on September 20, 2012:

Hi there!,

I had a dream last night that I broke into my ex boyfriends house with my friend, idk why, but we did. He caught me in his house. We talked after he stopped freaking out and we finally worked things out.

Please help :)

theladydreams on September 19, 2012:

i had a dream about my ex last night. this confuses me because he was emotionally and, at times, physically abusive of me. i made the terrible mistake of cheating in a relationship, and leaving for him. now, a year later, my previous relationship and i have made amends and are building trust within our relationship. i hope we remain serious, because this is the man i truly love. but, in my dream, my love and i were together, and my ex asked me to come to the beach with him. i did, but only 1 day into the trip, 'broke up' with him and messaged my lover. am i afraid of being unfaithful again, or am i finally closing that door? thank you for your thoughts.

Sue B. (author) on September 14, 2012:


I am not sure what can of old worms were opened, but it sounds like from your dream you continue to have feelings for your ex. I would say this dream is at least in part a wish fulfillment dream- dreaming of something you wish would happen in real life. To feel like you should talk to him and see this dream as a sign of what is to come is a typical reaction of a wish fulfillment dream.

I would view this dream as a reflection of your feelings, and this is important, and less about his feelings. It is important to work out your own feelings, process the relationship, process the break up and understand what you want or don't want from the person. It is very possible you may struggle with trying to be friends with this person until you sort out your feelings.

jcadair on September 08, 2012:

My ex boyfriend and I tried to be friends a few months after our break up, it wasn't easy but we had good times together as friends. Last week he said something that opened up a can of old worms, and decided I needed a break. I told him so, and explained why, and he told me to take all the time I need. The last few nights I keep dreaming of him coming into my room, and he tells me how much he loves me and misses me, and to call him!

I do have very strong instincts, however sometimes I mix up them up with wishful thinking. As much as I don't want to talk to him, I have this feeling I should. What does all this mean?

Sue B. (author) on September 05, 2012:


I would think your dream is reflecting your feelings and fears. It is common for people to feel jealousy, hurt, inferior, etc. This dream may be expressing this. Relationships are complicated and can also reflect the relationships that are occurring between the different aspects of self. This dream would mean to me I need to heal and allow myself to emotionally repair. If this were my dream, I would reflect on the following: My ex may represent an aspect of self. Do I feel like I am losing part of myself? Am I tempted to fall back on a previous relationship? Can I be alone? How do I feel when I'm alone? What unpleasant feelings do I need confront and learn more about?

clindsey23 on September 03, 2012:

me and my ex just recently broke up a couple days ago and still love eachother and all that but are over from fighting too much. i just woke up from a dream where i was talking to her again and she told me she went back to her main ex and slept with him and i was devastated. woke up crying only to realize it was just a dream. and it felt so real, we did cheat on each other months ago in the relationship but she didn't cheat on me with that main guy. what does this dream mean? Thank you.

Andrea on September 01, 2012:

This was somewhat helpful . I still struggle on getting over my ex he represented himself wrongfully and d feidnt value my fellings. I became obsessed with trying to chamge his mind to be with be but eventually i realize,he wasn't for me it hurt deep down . not only he didn't want to be with me he was just using me to get by time until it worked out between him and his childs mom) it was another put down and dealing with the samethings from other men, it just took something away from me that took me so long to get back . Trust! Im just not sure if i want to date anymore now it took mme two years before i could give him a chance and people can cover things up very well now a days so its really hard to tell but im it was better i know now than later , now i can take one day at a time.

Sue B. (author) on August 17, 2012:

latreesea spence-

The first thing I would consider about dreaming of an ex proposing is that I may be dreaming of what I wish would happen. Perhaps you still have feelings for your ex and would want to get back together. It could also be you answering the painful question- what if? What if we didn't break up? What am I missing out on? There seems to be an element of regret in this dream.

On a deeper level, your ex may represent an aspect of self you cut off- sometimes this aspect of self is cut off when the relationship ended. To have this aspect return and propose would be positive. You are regaining it and are unifying yourself.

latreesea spence on August 12, 2012:

Hi all I just had adream recently about my ex boyfriend, and he proposed to me in the dream.As started dreaming he appeared and was on one knee,i was so shocked and devestated about that dream i woke up.....could someone please tell me what does this dream mean?

Sue B. (author) on August 10, 2012:


I found your dream very interesting. My first impression is that this dream is reflecting an important change taking place within your anima (unconscious feminine aspect of self). To me, it sounds like your ex is representing a part of self you attempted to let go of yet you had some unfinished business. You were mad she called you to pick up things but the dream may be highlighting your desire to hold onto certain aspects. You can decide if you could have discarded these items or not. I would relate this stuff possibly baggage- what parts do you need? what parts don't you need?

The sexy black woman sounds like an important aspect of self that does not feel quite like you at all but has just come into your awareness. When something is more unconscious for us it tends to be represented by something more foreign to us. Are you a white male? This may be your minds interpretation of o your opposite.

The attraction and the kiss sound like very positive symbols. Kissing another aspect of self could represent the union of these two sides of self and you gaining further insight and intimate understanding of this part of you that has been shelved previously.

Overall, I find this to be an intriguing personal growth and development dream.

Steve on August 09, 2012:

This was pretty helpful. I found that dreaming of an ex might just be repressed feelings buried beneath my layers. *sigh*

JR on August 04, 2012:

I had a dream that i remember very clearly. Iwas at my beach house one minute then the next im on I-5 somewhere near a big city then I get a call from an ex that I needed to come by and pick up some of my things, and I was very mad. She was living in an apartment complex. I remember getting a few of my things but there were plenty of my brothers stuff and I took that too. Then as Iam walking out and saying good ridance I'm greated buy a sexy black woman. I was quite shy. I don't know why as I'm not that attracted to black women, It's not that a black woman can't be hot, It's just that I have never seen attractive black women where I live. Then suddenly I have the best kiss ever. What does this all mean?

Sue B. (author) on August 01, 2012:


I think all dreams have meaning- some deeper than others. The "she misses him" message I would associate with either wish fulfillment on your part or a reflection on your feelings about her. We often have people display the feelings we have for them in our dreams. This can become confusing but by dreaming of her missing you, you could be reflecting how much you miss her.

Z on July 28, 2012:

I frequently dream about this one specific ex-girlfriend.. She was the only girl in my life I've never quite been able to get out of my head, but I also probably would meet talk to her if I did see her again... And last night I had a dream where it was where in one of her social media accounts she had a "she misses him" next to her name.. Just wondering if there's any meaning behind that..

Sue B. (author) on July 19, 2012:

ronald- This sounds like a dream reflecting your feelings. Could it be your wish the child was yours so that you could be with your ex? It sounds like a wish fulfillment dream.

ronald on July 14, 2012:

i had a dream about my ex girl friend. the dream is about im a father and im so happy about that, i can still remember that childs face,looks similar to me and her,and she is the mother. i can see the baby lying on my chest while he is sleeping, in the end my ex girlfriend plans to leave us. what does it means? my ex girl friend has a child already but she's not married with he's boyfriend.. were supposed to get married after my contract to the other country but she left me and goes to that man,"the father of her child" its really bothering me... can you interpret this please..

Sue B. (author) on June 10, 2012:


It sounds like your dream is showing you the emotional baggage that you may not have addressed from prior relationships that are preventing you from connecting to your current girlfriend.

If I had this dream, I would try to explore what feelings I have about these past relationships and work towards resolving any issues, fears, worries I still have that shade how I may view my current relationship. Ex: If you were cheated on in the past, you may be leery, jealous or mistrusting of your current girlfriend. It is damaging to a relationship to be reacting to other relationships. You may really benefit from understanding your emotional pain and scars from those past relationships so your behavior, thoughts, and feelings for your current girlfriend are only in reaction to her.

O.A.R on June 10, 2012:

Last night I had a dream and it is scaring me. I dreamed I was in a bar, searching for hours and hours for my current girlfriend. But every single one of my ex-girlfriends were showing up and were trying to talk to me. I didn't want to interact with any of them, nothing to do with them, I just wanted to find my girl! I have no idea what this means?

Eslam Salah on June 03, 2012:

Thanks a lot for your reply Ms. Sue

I am the one talking about 3 dreams :)

I really did not know what they are referring at , But after reading your words I think it is a matter of resolving relationship & feelings issues in order to have a new start and forget about the past forever.

Thank you Ms. Sue

Sue B. (author) on June 03, 2012:


In this hub, I list many of the possible things an ex can be symbolizing besides themselves.

In review of your 3 dreams, it sounds like the first one soon after the break up was a type of undoing dream in which you undid the break up. The second one sounded like it was processing emotions for you. Perhaps you were ignoring your feelings of anger and sadness and this dream was calling them back to your attention. it is important to honor and express emotions.

The third dream that happened recently could relate to a lot of things. If you are in love with another girl now, could this dream relate to your feelings for this other girl and the girl you broke up with is shading this relationship now? When we do not fully resolve a relationship's issues within us, we continue to react to the relationship in our future relationships. How are you still reacting to your ex now through the new girl? Are you able to see your relationship with the new girl clearly or are you expecting or fearing some of the same things to occur as before? This dream may have been a way for you to resolve feelings and find some peace.

E.M on May 29, 2012:

After breaking up with my friend , I had 3 dreams in different times , the first one was after short period of breaking up and I was dreaming that I am with her walking and talking in a place like a Mall and we were Happy and normal , the Second one after longer period - she was talking to me and trying to get my attention or apologizing for something but I Paid no attention to her nor talk to her at all and seems that I was angry or sad , the third one was after more than one year of breaking up ( actually it was yesterday ) , the same as the first one but in different place and we were happy again and I remember that I said to her : "although there is a problem between us but I can't ever let u down "

she was one of my best and closest friends but a small problem happened , I tried not to lose her but she insisted not to be friends again , and when we were friends there were no feeling or love between us

the problem started by me but the matter didn't deserve to end like this , anyway it ended but I want to know what is the meaning of my dreams if you know that I am in love with another girl and the one who I dream about is now consider just a colleague for me and have no feeling or emotions towards her anymore but rather I feel like happy to break up with her

thank you and sorry for stretching

Sue B. (author) on January 26, 2012:

hi someone. Thanks for commenting.

It sounds like you had a very vivid dream of your ex. Did you feel smothered in your relationship at all? It sounds like you are dreaming of the qualities of that particular relationship and their negative affect on yourself. Was this person controlling? abusive? cruel in some way?

If not, it may also be that you are telling yourself that you consumed yourself too much within the relationship and did not have room to breath on your own.

It sounds very unpleasant and I hope I was able to help you gain a little more understanding within what is bothering you and what needs to be resolved so you seek more positive relationships while still maintaining your own identity in the future.

someone on January 26, 2012:

i had a dream recently that i thought i was awake it was so real, i said how did you get in here, then he started smothering me, if this is a trait of myself it is an undesirable trait

i was smothered over and over and over by him, i would be released right before i passed out, how cruel he never finished me off and left me to endure this existence

Sue B. (author) on January 26, 2012:

Thanks for commenting, cebutouristspot.

Yes, it is a relief to know that an ex does not necessarily represent the actual person in a dream! I would say 9 out of 10 happily married people are dreaming of an ex as a way to tell themselves what their current lives are lacking from more youthful times--usually this is more adventure, more excitement, etc. As we grow old together and gain more responsibilities together we certain have a tendency to stop doing the fun things!

Happy dreaming to you.

cebutouristspot from Cebu on January 26, 2012:

Glad to hear that it is common I sometimes feel guilty when dreaming of my ex when I am happily married. Thanks you.