Why Do Scorpio Men Do the Things They Do?


October 24 through November 22

Is He Showing Off-and-On Interest?

Does he seem intensely interested in you and your plans? Maybe coming off as a bit of a stalker? Only to go off the grid completely for a few days, before once again coming onto you as strongly as before? From my experience (both as a Scorpio and as someone who has dated several Scorpio men), I'm going to explain their peculiar behavior as best as I can.

You have to understand that Scorpios are intense. When they are focused, it is with a single-minded obsession. So when he is thinking about you, it is all about you. And when he's not, he's not. Without going into why he withdraws in the first place (more about that later), this is the best I can give you for the stalker-to-stranger extremes. There will be times when he's somewhere in between extremes, but it's happens less frequently than with other signs. These in-between times usually happen when he is trying to make an effort because he knows you probably don't understand his intensity or because he's genuinely curious about something you mentioned.

The best advice I can give here is communicate. He may not be saying much, but I guarantee he is listening. Tell him how you feel. If he is a fit for you, your Scorpio will be upset that you are upset. At the very least, he will reassure you that you are not the problem.

Is His Vindictive Side Showing? Wondering "Where Did That Come From?"


Imagine you have a dog. Now imagine you are two years old and have just discovered its tail. The dog loves you, understands that you don't know any better, and tolerates your curious tugging. Move ahead a few years, you're five now and accidentally step on the dog's tail. All is forgiven; the dog can tell the difference between a purposefully placed foot and an accidental injury. But now you are 10, and you yank on its tail to show your friends how much the dog loves you, that it has never bitten you. If the dog bit you then, would you think, simply because it hadn't done so before, that it came out of nowhere?

I can guarantee you one thing: A scorpio waits. They wait until they feel they have sufficient justification and then lash out. Because they know their emotions are so much stronger than others', they tolerate more than most people. They have to, so that they don't feel guilty about retaliating. But when they do finally lash out, they do so in brilliant form. At this point, it's not about you understanding what he is angry or hurt about. It's about you feeling small and crushed, cowering in a corner surrounded by your guilt. And if you don't remember the first few times you tugged on his tail, because his response wasn't memorable, well—that's not his problem.

My point is, you may think it came out of nowhere, but he has been keeping track and something tipped the scales. Just because he doesn't tell you when you have hurt or upset him doesn't mean you haven't.

Why Does Your Scorpio Man Withdraw or Play Mind Games?


I have determined that his a Scorpio's withdrawal usually has one of five causes (though there may be more I have not yet discovered):

1. He is in a situation that he has mixed emotions about and has decided to distance himself until he sorts it out in his heart.

2. He is royally pissed off and instead of lashing out, he has decided to spare you his (vindictive) tongue. His withdrawal is to let you know he is upset and maybe to upset you a little by creating distance (manipulative, but it does happen).

3. He was burned, hurt, embarrassed, upset, etc. He has withdrawn basically to nurse his wounds. In my opinion, we Scorpios take offhanded comments a bit too personally. When this is the case, he will try to go about his usual routine. The only difference will be that he won't speak; instead, he will instead hang back and observe. I do this, and I can tell you it really ticks me off when I am creating space on purpose and someone asks me what's wrong. If they keep asking, I either:
a) Lash out because I want them to go away without explaining that I am upset.
b) Pretend that I just don't feel well.

4. He is simply being himself and has withdrawn to think about whatever mysteries he thinks about. I choose to believe when they withdraw like this and possibilities one, two, and three have been ruled out, that it says a lot about how he feels about the relationship. It tells me that he thinks your relationship is strong enough that he does not have to worry about putting on a show and being talkative everyday. Some people may take that as meaning he takes them for granted, but I guess all I can say is, if that bothers you, talk about it. I'm not guaranteeing it will change, though.

5. He has decided to cut all strings and end it. In other words, he is creating space in preparation to leave. I really hope this isn't the case for anyone, because it says volumes about his lack of compassion for you.

If you aren't sure about him, don't put up with his games. In other words, if you can't tell which of the first four reasons is the reason he has withdrawn, then you really don't know each other well enough for him to play mind games and expect for you to sort it out. Tell him so. If he still doesn't answer, he isn't worth your time anyway.

Comments 36 comments

KrisNick09 profile image

KrisNick09 4 years ago from Kentucky Author

I have been hub browsing and it seems that a lot of people are having trouble with their scorpios. hopefully this is helpful :) I'm thinking about writing one on the ego of scorpio males ;) ( ...and females!)

sarah 4 years ago

This is so helpful! I just had the longest three days of my life. We were fine I thought then suddenly he just stopped calling and he usually calls me everyday. He finally texted me this morning, I was starting to wonder if he was doing the #5 thing! I guess it was probly #1 thow since his mom is in the hospital.

karthikkash profile image

karthikkash 4 years ago from India

KrisNick09: I think I may be in situation 3. And yes, Scorpio women are quite similar to us Scorpio men in many things.

angel115707 profile image

angel115707 4 years ago from Galveston, TX

I agree 1000% And the comment with a scorp's mom in the hospital, there is always some drama going on, that's a great excuse for withdrawal, to distract the sig. other from the real issue....ALWAYS. (sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it's a flat our lie, esp. male scorps)

Luv this hub. My brother is a scorp, a close friend is, I have it as my rising sign, so I catch ,myself holding many of these qualities as well.

KrisNick09 profile image

KrisNick09 4 years ago from Kentucky Author

Thank you for your comments, angel115707! :)

amymarie_5 profile image

amymarie_5 4 years ago from Chicago IL

I dated a Scorpio for about six months and your description here is pretty accurate. I couldn't understand this guy for the life of me but I was really falling for him because of it. He was really obsessive and then he'd cut me off for days. He also had an additive personality. I think Scorpios are very complex people. I also think it's easy to fall for them - at least in my case!!! I really liked this hub. Rated all ups!!

KrisNick09 profile image

KrisNick09 4 years ago from Kentucky Author

amymarie 5 - Thanks! Complex for sure, but no more so than any other sign. Just in more obvious and aggravating ways! I too, fall for them...well, it's really more like tripping down the stairs ... :)

Pisces 3 years ago

My scorpio man sais he adores me etc I know he likes me very much a dis genuine but then he desapears for a few days then he comes back. Should I be calling him or a. I pressuring him I really don't want to scare him or make him feel like I am trying to possess him. Help he is turturing me with mind and body

KrisNick09 profile image

KrisNick09 3 years ago from Kentucky Author

Hello Pisces,

The only advice I can offer is to remind you that a relationship is a two way street. It sounds like you are very concerned about pressuring him/scaring him away. But you need to remember that he needs to show the same concern for you.

Sarah 2 years ago


I've recently broken up with a Scorpion man.

We were getting on great and we were talking about getting married and out of nowhere he went cold turkey on me. He ignored my calls and texts for days and finally when he did hey back to me he said he can't commit to anything..

This is so true! But my question is will he come back to me?

Miranda 2 years ago

Sarah, he might come back, depending if he loves you and realizes he made a mistake. Mine came back after 5 years.

Anonymous 2 years ago

Mine always seems to have no time for me . Nasty comments like " my family comes first " " I can't be with you as I have people around me "

I am confused .

I seem to be making all the efforts in the relationship .

If I ask him to be with me he says let's end this as I m too demanding and impatient .

He has broken up with me last week . Not responding to my texts . Though last week I text him about a minor accident he was very concerned .

Should I carry on asking him to talk to me or move on .

Sera 2 years ago

How would I knw he is lying to me(scorpio) he said he is not over his ex and need time to deal with his feelings. But when I speak to him its just short answers. Said we must become friends b4 lovers. Ask him if I'm going to see him again said he will be busy for nest 5 weeks. What is this man saying? I'm inlove with him and told him how I feel so he knows. HELP!!!!

Aquarius 2 years ago


Im 17 and the scorpio ive been talking to is 17 also. We met at a party, hooked up and then hung out like twice. He was super into me, to the point where he was almost stalking me (exactly what u mentioned above) although i really didn't mind. Then i felt it got really cold, and then every once in a while he starts texting me, and acting like he's really into me again. I just want to know, How do I treat him in this situation? do I just go along with however he's feeling? I'm an aquarius, and i really don't like to be vulnerable and put myself out there. I haven't acted clingy at all, and I don't plan on doing so at any point. What should I be doing when he is acting cold? What does he want from me...

Libra 2 years ago

This does help about Scorpios!! I am the kind of Libra female who craves attention and if I don't hear from my Scorpio for ONE day - I begin to freak out and go back and forth - he loves me, he loves me not. I KNOW that he loves me - he told me he did two days ago in a phone call and then he didn't respond to my three texts today and I do that damn scales balancing act thing that I hate so much. I am at a vulnerable stage in my life right now. My Mom was diagnosed with Cancer December 4, 2013. I met my Scorpio man in an online dating site on three weeks later and we fell in love within a few weeks into 2014. He talked to my Mom and she adored him. With Mom's encouragement, we decided to meet in April 2014. During Mom's chemo and ups and downs, he was there for me any time of the day (he lives in Ireland and is 6 hours ahead) and I could call him at any time and he was there. Such an amazing man and my rock! My Mom passed March 31 and I wouldn't have been able to make it if it weren't for him. My Mom's last wish was for us to meet. We did, 10 days after she left and it was like we had known each other for years. My friends think I shouldn't expect a text every day, since he has things to do and so do I. I just guess I'm real needy right now. And so afraid that if I don't get a text every day, then he has stopped caring for me. As I write this, I see how silly, stupid and ridiculous and wacky I must seem to anyone who reads this. I can't say anything to him. I don't want him to think I'm a clingy nut, lol. This page really helped, Kris. I guess I have to stop being such a Libra (=

gemini 2 years ago helpful to hear all the amazing similarities...i don't know if 1-5?? how is the best way to respond to text or call after they have been distancing themselves and a little cold. I go through the same thing when i don't receive a text for 1 day cause it's just such an extreme change from the normal..also don't want to be needy, but sometime i feel like i need to have more self respect, it's not okay to be coldish...back and forth with extreme wow he really really loves and wants me to feelings of I really don't know how he feels at all??? help

sipss 2 years ago

Being with my Scorpio is like riding a roller coaster.everything feels picture perfect up until. I don't know why he begs to be with me then leaves. Both times we have broken up it was under false pretenses. Both times i had to hear from him via email that its over. He tells me im the one but when he starts getting tired he gives me confidence and reassurence with words that don't feel like a lie. I don't think he respects me. Im naturally submissive but im tired of questioning his feelings. He would say things like " you know i can't make you happy. LeAve Nd then reappear in my life. I really wish he would just stop leading me on

nadine 2 years ago


Just want to ask for an honest advise. I asked my scorpio guy if what he's feeling towards me and he said he doesn't know. But whenever were together, I feel he loves me somehow. Im totally confused coz he's giving me mixed signals.

Please enlighten me. Thank you.

molita 2 years ago

To all scorpio man out there, could you please explain why is it really hard for you to express your feelings with the one whom you feel somewhat special to you? What's holding you back guys? And if you told a certain girl that you like her very much or that she's special, does it mean your'e developing feelings for her already? Does liking means close to loving? Please have a spare time to help someone in confusion with scorp man.. be delighted to know some insights.. thank you very much..

cappylena 2 years ago

I have a huge problem I was dating my best friend who is a Scorpio and he was such an amazing man. But I have a son who was looking up to him. Him being 33 with no kids of his own I thought it wouldn't be a problem but apparently it was. In fact he ended the wonderful relationship we had because he says he needs to think of whether or not he wants kids and family or not. I was hurt because before we started dating he said he was in love with me and wanted to settle down have a family etc. Now he says he loves me but it's not the same as it was. I am freaking crazy about this guy. I have never cared or missed or loved anyone the way I do him. What should I do? Should I give him his space to think? Is he still in love with me? I'm so lost please help

2 years ago

I'm going through the same crap. I got into a heated argument with my scorpio and now things aren't the same anymore. Every day & night he would text me or calling and today nothing. As gemini once I feel things are changing I start worry. I haven't called to see what's happening etc I'm just going to go do my own thing and let him be. I always give him space even when I don't need vis versa. Too much of us isn't good. But things are slowy getting boring for me. I have thought about cheating but haven't just yet but if this behaviour continues within 2 weeks I'm out of here...

Mariemccoy 2 years ago

Hi guys, I don't want to be offensive to anyone, but I don't understand why all of you don't walk, wait, run from a guy pulling this crap on you?? Over and over, you explain how you're led on, treated like crap and then wonder if he'll take you back.... Why?? If he tells you he likes or lives you and then disappears, find someone else! Why would you wait around for this unstable twit to decide how he's going to yo yo again and how long you'll take it? Have some self respect and dump these crazy scorpio loser dudes who have self centered ness as their #1 !

Lisa 24 months ago

Libra- I can totally relate to if scorpio man doesn't respond to my texts, I think he's done. Right now he hasn't responded three days so kind of concerned.

PiscesWY 20 months ago

This is extremely accurate for my male best friend who is a Scorpio! We flirt constantly , talk about crazy things and have fun. But, he will suddenly disappear for a few days. Or he will suddenly have an "issue" where life seems overwhelming. He will not talk about it and shuts right down. As a Pisces I try to help and feel his pain... It is so tough to leave him alone when he is in a funk but I hve 2 give him space or he will disappear. :( scorpions will love u or they will hate u.

PiscesLeea 20 months ago

I am completely shocked by all of the responses. I am currently being extremely patient with a Scorpio who is going through some tough times. He will not tell me what is wrong. Do I give him space and let him sort it out? From what it looks like if you bother a Scorpio and show them you care they get upset. I will say he has the best heart and loves with all of it.

MollyC 20 months ago

I have a Scorpio issue for sure. I have known him fr 8 years... Best friends that tend to flirt a lot. He usually texts me every day but a few days ago he disappeared when he said he was frustrated . I have texted him like I always do... Nothing. I have even called him out on his silence. Nothing. Is this the end? What do I do??

Pisces 18 months ago

So I recently met a scorpio and we instantly had a spiritual, physical and emotional connection. We could stare into eachothers eyes and read each other maybe too well. It felt so I just stumbled upon a soulmate. But now I haven't heard from him for a week and a half and have no idea why. My period is late and I might be pregnant. I don't want to tell him because he may think I'm just trying to get him back... it really hurts feeling this way all alone. My friends think I should get an abortion to save myself the heart ache but I could never do that! Well..I never thought i would anyway. The weird thing is that I'm on birth control... so wtf just happened?! Is he testing me or just not interested all of a sudden? I'm not going to blow his phone up and beg for him to talk to me if that's what he thinks. But I seriously think I am pregnant and am freaking out. I've never commented on any article ever like this but I need advice before I approach him about this. Thoughts?

Sarah burk 17 months ago

I've been dating a scorpio man for 3 months. He came way strong and even texted to me that he could see being married to me. That was only a month of knowing him. I didn't take him serious. He has slowly grown colder and further away. We have had a serious connection and am amazing attraction together. I have since been on a roller coaster ride and now haven't gotten a text or call for 6 weeks. I'm very hurt and miss him so much! What should I do ?

anna 17 months ago

Hi im a scorpio female and i have this habit of disspearing for a few days when im going through all the above phases. Especially when i had fight wih my partner. I hate arguments and confrontations and i always try my hardest for my partner to undertsand him better and not hurt his feelings but he is confrontational type and arguments exhaust me. I fee like when we fight pieces of me die so when i feel to much its like i push a Button inside me that protects me from further hurt and i become cold and distant

Al 13 months ago

I am a venus in scorpio and I can vouch for this. There is very little I expect and very little that fazes me but the moment I get the whiff of disloyalty I will stake out my game and take him down he will never come up. And I can do this over a protracted period of time such as few years. Betrayal can consume me as much as love can. I am a sadge sun otherwise and not in the least clingy or demanding. Someone who is with me can never see it coming. All the time I have given them a real long rope and they have sadly tied it around their neck of their own accord.

Sorry to be so gruesome but if you cannot handle the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Vice 8 months ago

Please someone tell me what to do about my Scorpio guy best friend ! He's amazing, caring, funny.. Just wonderful but when he is upset, he goes off the grid. Well for about a year he has changed. He left his job for something else and he hasn't been the same since . We r used to flirting a lot, admit we like eachother but he has a girlfriend -- one that treats him awful and he knows it. She may even be seeing someone else on the side. I have stood by him knowing how hurt he is. He doesn't deserve it. Suddenly it seems like he can't talk to me... Like he's not allowed. He has dropped off the face of the earth but yet when I do see him for a few minutes , he is great! We pick up where we left off. Our texting is nonexistent now, no more laughing , chatting... He has no time to see me so I can't get answers. What do I do with this friendship???!:((

Babygirl 6 months ago

Hi all, i need an advice please about my scorpio man, we were fine for almost 2 months and then i had a strange feeling he was dating someone else. Basically we only knew each other online and have made plans to be in a couple months. Long story short - i asked him whether he was seeing someone and he replied yes, but he only went out for one date only. Everysince i felt hurt and texted him about how i felt and its been 4 days now he has not replied. I can see he has read my message as well. I have deleted him now, I just want to know why do they disappear instead of fixing the problem when apparently its his fault that he messed up by going on date with someone else. I want to add he is younger than me in 6 years, he is 29. Would appreciate your advice. Thank you.

ScorpioMates 3 months ago

Hi all, i m Scorpio woman n my partner is Scorpio too. I really having trouble while dealing with him emotionally. Most of time we have different opinion. And our conversation end with quarrel. Sometime i feel not to have a same sign mate. Even sexual relationship is outstanding but emotionally not. Both of us want to have control in relationship and we end up with fight. I am always in doubt about our relationship longevity. He is very obsessive and jealous type of guy. Even i get scared of me. I always have a second thought about our relationship. He is very supportive and lovable and caring too. BUT i get irritated by his over caring and controlling nature. Most of time i have to think before making a friend with any other boy. Even i cant meet any boy (friend) without his permission. If i do , i fear he may not trust me anymore. Trust issue or what i dont know. I M REALLY CONFUSED how can we both manage.

Michelle 2 months ago

I am so glad to hear that everyone is having the same concerns. So I have dated a scorpio several years ago, we reconnected. Awesome! well he did the withdraw thing to me.. but he told me after I sent him a message.. that everything is fine. So that brought back memories.. Yes, a scorpio man is a one task at a time individual, so say that they have alot of things to accomplish in such a short period of time or they feel overwhelmed they tend to withdrawal a bit and it really takes a women whom is strong and can handle finding things to do on your own. At first, I was like omg what did I do wrong and then scorp man let it be known that everything is fine. Thats when it all came back to me he did the same thing when we dated the first time but not as adults we have not dated. But he still is withdrawing. But that is okay with me because it gives me time to be alone and a chance to actually miss him. I am the type that gets smothered when a guy is constantly blowing the messages up or calling.

Tee 6 weeks ago

I had the same issue with a scorpio we met 1 year ago this month.everything was fine then he stopped calling and responding to me..this went on for 8 months then he texts me out if the blue. He wanted to see me then changed his mind.wth

I need Dr. Phil....I feel hurt confused and told him off.then I felt bad ugh....

frankie 3 weeks ago

I have no idea what happened with my scorpio male....he just suddenly changed. Him and I were only in a friend's with benefits thing for over a year. Nothing serious well so he always said then one night about 3 weeks ago he messaged and asked if we could meet up I said yes...then I didn't hear from him so I assumed he had gotten busy so I just went to bed...didn't think much of it. I woke up the next day with him just going off his nut and blocking me on his facebok. The messages he sent me were slaughtering and he even threatened to put our rude conversations all over Facebook. He assumed that I was online at 4 am in the morning because my messenger said I was active. I tried to talk to him and I told him that I was asleep...I thought he would have realized that I've never ever ignored him...he knows I would never do that. On that note we weren't even a couple so I have no idea why he has taken it to heart or what's going on. It really does sux when you get stung for something so stupid and especially when you've done nothing wrong apart from be's extremely hurtful.

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