Why Do Scorpio Men Do the Things They Do?
October 24 through November 22
Is He Showing Off-and-On Interest?
Does he seem intensely interested in you and your plans? Maybe coming off as a bit of a stalker? Only to go off the grid completely for a few days, before once again coming onto you as strongly as before? From my experience (both as a Scorpio and as someone who has dated several Scorpio men), I'm going to explain their peculiar behavior as best as I can.
You have to understand that Scorpios are intense. When they are focused, it is with a single-minded obsession. So when he is thinking about you, it is all about you. And when he's not, he's not. Without going into why he withdraws in the first place (more about that later), this is the best I can give you for the stalker-to-stranger extremes. There will be times when he's somewhere in between extremes, but it's happens less frequently than with other signs. These in-between times usually happen when he is trying to make an effort because he knows you probably don't understand his intensity or because he's genuinely curious about something you mentioned.
The best advice I can give here is communicate. He may not be saying much, but I guarantee he is listening. Tell him how you feel. If he is a fit for you, your Scorpio will be upset that you are upset. At the very least, he will reassure you that you are not the problem.
Is His Vindictive Side Showing? Wondering "Where Did That Come From?"
Imagine you have a dog. Now imagine you are two years old and have just discovered its tail. The dog loves you, understands that you don't know any better, and tolerates your curious tugging. Move ahead a few years, you're five now and accidentally step on the dog's tail. All is forgiven; the dog can tell the difference between a purposefully placed foot and an accidental injury. But now you are 10, and you yank on its tail to show your friends how much the dog loves you, that it has never bitten you. If the dog bit you then, would you think, simply because it hadn't done so before, that it came out of nowhere?
I can guarantee you one thing: A scorpio waits. They wait until they feel they have sufficient justification and then lash out. Because they know their emotions are so much stronger than others', they tolerate more than most people. They have to, so that they don't feel guilty about retaliating. But when they do finally lash out, they do so in brilliant form. At this point, it's not about you understanding what he is angry or hurt about. It's about you feeling small and crushed, cowering in a corner surrounded by your guilt. And if you don't remember the first few times you tugged on his tail, because his response wasn't memorable, well—that's not his problem.
My point is, you may think it came out of nowhere, but he has been keeping track and something tipped the scales. Just because he doesn't tell you when you have hurt or upset him doesn't mean you haven't.
Why Does Your Scorpio Man Withdraw or Play Mind Games?
I have determined that his a Scorpio's withdrawal usually has one of five causes (though there may be more I have not yet discovered):
1. He is in a situation that he has mixed emotions about and has decided to distance himself until he sorts it out in his heart.
2. He is royally pissed off and instead of lashing out, he has decided to spare you his (vindictive) tongue. His withdrawal is to let you know he is upset and maybe to upset you a little by creating distance (manipulative, but it does happen).
3. He was burned, hurt, embarrassed, upset, etc. He has withdrawn basically to nurse his wounds. In my opinion, we Scorpios take offhanded comments a bit too personally. When this is the case, he will try to go about his usual routine. The only difference will be that he won't speak; instead, he will instead hang back and observe. I do this, and I can tell you it really ticks me off when I am creating space on purpose and someone asks me what's wrong. If they keep asking, I either:
a) Lash out because I want them to go away without explaining that I am upset.
b) Pretend that I just don't feel well.
4. He is simply being himself and has withdrawn to think about whatever mysteries he thinks about. I choose to believe when they withdraw like this and possibilities one, two, and three have been ruled out, that it says a lot about how he feels about the relationship. It tells me that he thinks your relationship is strong enough that he does not have to worry about putting on a show and being talkative everyday. Some people may take that as meaning he takes them for granted, but I guess all I can say is, if that bothers you, talk about it. I'm not guaranteeing it will change, though.
5. He has decided to cut all strings and end it. In other words, he is creating space in preparation to leave. I really hope this isn't the case for anyone, because it says volumes about his lack of compassion for you.
If you aren't sure about him, don't put up with his games. In other words, if you can't tell which of the first four reasons is the reason he has withdrawn, then you really don't know each other well enough for him to play mind games and expect for you to sort it out. Tell him so. If he still doesn't answer, he isn't worth your time anyway.