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Dating a Scorpio Man Ultimate Guide!

Scorpio Male Characteristics
Scorpio Male Characteristics

Dating a Scorpio Man

Do you find yourself attracted to Scorpios? Do you gravitate towards them for some unexplained reason?

Does the Scorpio man you are involved with cause confusion because of his odd behaviors, such as being passionate with you one minute and seemingly disconnected the next?

If you have answered yes to these questions, you have come to the right place.

I am a Scorpio man and I'm going to reveal some very well kept secrets about this astrological sign. I will give you the positive and negative traits for the Scorpion male you are so curious about.

Along the way, I will throw in a few tips and warnings that will help you to better understand why your man may be acting the way that he does – which no doubt can be difficult to figure out! At the end, I will discuss the hard science behind the Scorpion personality, which is based in astrophysics and has nothing to do with Greek or Roman Gods.

Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!

First, let’s start with the basic positive and negative traits. These traits listed here highlight the “good and bad”.

Scorpio Positive and Negative Traits: Oct 23 - Nov 21

Positive Traits
Negative Traits
Loyal
Emotionally Distant
Hyper Focused
Obsessive
Passionate
Disconnected
High Sexual Energy
Mysterious/Secretive
Curious/Logical
Manipulative/Resentful
Competitive
Overly Sensitive
Empathic
Self-Important
Typical Traits of Scorpio Man
Scorpion
Scorpion | Source

Positive Traits

Which positive traits best describes your Scorpio Man Experience?

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Passionate and Intense

Men that are Scorpios are passionate and intense. As one, however, I can tell you that it is a sword that cuts both ways. When we in a relationship with you, particularly at the beginning, you will experience our singular, passionate, laser-like focus. When we become intimate, you will experience love making like you never have before. Our sexual energy is palatable, magnetic and at times overwhelming.

Loyal and Intuitive

Guys that are Scorpios are a loyal bunch. When we are in a relationship with you, we are also very intuitive and empathic. Other zodiac signs who are romantically involved with us, however, mistake our cool distance for ambivalence. I can tell you this is simply not true. We will walk over hot coals for you when we are in love but it is a struggle for us at times to show emotions because of other things going on inside (see negative traits).

Curious, Logical & Hyper-Focused

Scorpion men are curious and logical, which can be a positive and negative thing. On the one hand, we have this unique ability to deconstruct a given issue or dilemma, similar to how Spock from Star Trek may approach a certain problem. Our logical nature is often times sparked by the question “What” … meaning what is causing you to behave in the manner that you do. This curiosity and logical nature, as mentioned earlier, can be a double edged sword because when we are hyper-focused on a given problem, we become obsessed to the point that it becomes annoying. We will provoke arguments and fights in a relationship with you in order to find out what you are truly thinking, which is a primary function of our curious nature. Our only tool to move past a given obsession is to find a new one or engage in mindfulness.

Empathic

Scorpio men are extremely empathic. For reasons that we do not understand, many Scorpio males are able to sense what is going on with you emotionally. In fact, we likely can sense what you are feeling even when we are not in your physical presence. The reason for this is because once we are in love with you, we become hyper-focused on your total person. This ability to be empathic, however, is limited to those whom we are close to. Our logical nature can at times interfere with this ability to be empathic because we tend to over-rationalize and overthink.

Warning: It is important that you know that when we are in a calm place, we are able to read your emotions and do so with freakish accuracy. It is not necessary that you speak in our presence for us to know what is going on inside of you. If you search your memories of your interactions with Scorpion men, you will know this to be true.

Competitive

Scorpion men are competitive in all things that they commit to. In other words, once we make the decision to partake in a given activity, we are “in it to win it” and are relentless. Like the other traits mentioned here, this can be a blessing and curse. Our competitive nature comes at a cost to our relationships. It is one of the reasons Scorpios are seen to be so distant. It is hard for us to hold the emotions of deep passion and love for you while we try to balance these feelings with our strong desire to “win” at other things in life.

Source

Negative Traits

Scorpio Man Experience

Which negative trait best describes your Scorpio Man Experience?

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Secretive and Mysterious

If you want to spot a Scorpio male, look for the guy who is wearing sunglasses in situations where it doesn’t make sense, like cloudy days or even at night. You can tell you are in the presence of a Scorpion man because when you pass one by, you feel a strong pull that is hard to describe. Many have characterized Scorpion men as “bad boys” because we give off that dangerous yet paradoxically attractive vibe.

Distant and Disconnected

Scorpion men are cursed with being obsessed with a given project or problem solving activity. This can cause many of us to seem emotionally distant, cool and disconnected. For people who initially meet a Scorpion man, it is important that you know this – the guy may at first seem a bit removed because he is trying to tune into your persona. It takes us time to do this but when we “dial in” to your channel, we do so with pinpoint accuracy. Interference however often happens because of our obsessive nature, which again, causes us to focus on other things.

Manipulative and Resentful

This is perhaps one of our greatest weaknesses. Scorpion men do in fact resort to manipulation, particularly when we are jealous or become resentful. When we are dating you or romantically involved with you, we expect that you make it all about us. This is perhaps a very selfish thing to admit but if you are looking for the real deal on Scorpion men, you just got it.

Warning: If we detect you are looking at other men, which we are able to sense through our empathic abilities, you need to be careful. I say this because we will absolutely sting you and sting you badly. We will make your life miserable and be purposeful in going about this. Think of your experiences with Scorpion men and you will know this to be absolutely true.

Jealous and Overly Sensitive

These characteristics go hand in hand with the previously mentioned traits. When we are committed to you, we become protective of you. And for all of our rational abilities, we have a glitch when it comes to jealousy. In other words, we often find it hard to use the rational side of our brain when we think someone else is interested in you or pursuing you. We are also highly sensitive to criticism, I admit. If truth be told, overly sensitive.

Warning: If you criticize us too harshly, it activates a very ugly side of our personality that causes us to seek out vengeance. This happens through manipulation. We do not like this part of our personality and avoid using it whenever possible. Please do not activate that chip in us because when you do – watch out.

Obsessive and Self-Important

Scorpion men are often accused of being obsessive and even narcissistic (self-important). On some level, this is true. We do become obsessed with a given problem, project or puzzle and will not stop in our pursuit of the solution until it is achieved. This trait however is often confused with being narcissistic. I can tell you that this is completely false. We have a great well of empathy and sympathy for others and our compassion knows no bounds. It’s just that we tend to obsess over things to the point of being ridiculous. Many of us have a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder for this reason. And while some of us may seek the spotlight, many more of us shy away from it because it illuminates parts of our personality that we wish to remain cloaked.

Artists Rendition of Scorpio Sky from Pluto
Artists Rendition of Scorpio Sky from Pluto | Source

Tour of Scorpio Constellation

Other Characteristics

  • We generally are good with money and are not the impulsive type when it comes to spending.
  • We obsess over our appearance and have body image issues.
  • We have memories like elephants and can recall the tiniest of details about something that happened long ago– right down to the inflection of your voice and the exact words you spoke.
  • We struggle with trust issues and it takes time for others to win our trust.
  • We are prone to back problems because of our obsessions, which manifest in the form of stress in our lumbar region.
  • We are caretakers, in part, because we are fiercely independent and loath the thought of someone taking care of us.
  • Many of us work in fields like psychology, journalism, healthcare, engineering and finance. All of these fields involve the use of logic, Scorpion strengths.

Moon's Influence on Tides
Moon's Influence on Tides | Source

Why Do Scorpios Have Odd Behaviors?

Scorpio men are perhaps the most misunderstood of the zodiac signs. One minute we can be intently focused on what is going on with you personally and the next moment we can seem distracted and even disconnected.

Here’s why:

Scorpios are influenced at birth by the planets Mars and Pluto. I could give you a bunch of hocus pocus about Greek Gods and “ruling planets” but I’d rather give you the hard science.

When a person is born between October 23 and November 21, they are literally born under what is called a “Scorpion Sky”. This simply means that the plants Mars and Pluto are vertically opposite of one another, each having their own gravitation impact on the planet earth, which is primarily influenced by the sun. Are you with me so far?

If you believe that tides rise and recede as a result of the gravitational pull of the sun, moon and other planets in our solar system then you need to understand that during Scorpion Sky, Mars and Pluto are positioned opposite of one another. This opposite positioning has an influence on all liquids and not just in our oceans. Here, I am talking about the amniotic fluid in the mother’s womb at the time of the male Scorpion’s birth. This astrological positioning both negatively and positively charge the amniotic fluid in the mother’s placenta, thereby creating the unique Scorpion baby.

Scorpios are considered to have a negative polarity because of this positioning. This negative polarity gives Scorpions the passion of the hot planet, mars, and the cool distance of the planetoid Pluto.

Instead of looking at mythology, which cannot be proven in science, let’s turn to astrophysics which can. Take note of the planetary characteristics in comparison to the Scorpion male characteristics. I’ve included a Sky-map as a visual.

Planetary Alignment of Mars and Pluto. Notice how far apart they are.
Planetary Alignment of Mars and Pluto. Notice how far apart they are. | Source

Planetary Characteristics: Mars and Pluto

Mars
Pluto
Earth
4th Planet from Sun
9th Planet(oid) from Sun
3rd Planet from Sun
Billions of years ago it once had water and other elements thought to form life. It is therefore considered a “Hot” planet.
Cold, distant planet who orbit is influenced by our sun. It has some gravitational influence on Earth when it is aligned with Mars.
Positively Charged Magnetic Atmosphere
Once had a positively charged atmosphere. Now now has tiny magnetic field
Negatively charges atmosphere
Gravitationally influenced by all planets but during Oct 23 through November 21, hyper-influenced by Mars and Pluto.
Tital pull with Sun most powerful Oct-Nov
Tidal Pull with Sun on Earth post powerful Oct-Nov
Magnetic Sphere is highly charged on earth during this period, influenced by Pluto’s negative polarity in position to Mars and our moon

Summary

If you are interested in dating a Scorpion make, get ready for a super wild ride. We will make you feel as if you are the center of the universe while also exhibiting behaviors that may seem, frankly, crazy. What you need to know is that when we are in love with you we are truly in love with you and will remain loyal. Gaining our trust and love however is not easy. Once you are in a relationship with us, we will likely want to take care of you.

The key to a Scorpios heart is patience and understanding. Because of our sensitive nature, we prefer that you phrase any criticism towards us carefully and instead, opt for meaningful, constructive feedback. We respond to feedback in a logical way with an ability to integrate your observations into actions. Our only desire is to please you once we are in love with you. And while we may at times have a wandering eye, our heart is only connected to you.

If you found this helpful, please share with others and particularly other Scorpio men who may need a primer on what is fueling some of their unexplained behavior.

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44 comments

Luis 2 years ago

So amazing you hit it on the money !!!


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Glad you liked it Luis! Thanks for stopping by.


Jen 2 years ago

You pegged my boyfriend. You scorpions are so hot by the way!


LL Fugate profile image

LL Fugate 2 years ago from Central Virginia

This is all perfectly true!


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Thanks, LL Fugate and Jen. Glad you liked.


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 2 years ago from New Jersey

It's wonderful to read such an in depth study (could anyone but a Scorpio do that)? from someone who actually knows their astrology. My 26 year old son exhibits many of the traits you describe, having a Scorpio Sun and Moon. Of course, being Mom, I wouldn't be privy to some of the others. He is extremely sensitive, and since I'm Cancer, making us both water signs, on the rare occasions we argue, then we both cry. My husband used to tell us we were both crazy! But then he can turn around and almost seem cold when he makes a decision, and I have accused him of acting like Mr. Spock.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Hi, Jean!

Love what you wrote here. So funny you mention Spock because I have been told the same thing. Just yesterday a Scorpio I met also said he had been told this. I can imagine you are very close to your son by the way. Cancers and Scorpios can be a good mix with parents and kids from all that I know (and now confirmed by you!)


Pj 2 years ago

I feel like the positives and negatives of being a Scorpio man are intensified or lessened based on one's moon sign. I know this because I've done a good deal of research on moon signs and compatibility.

Scorpio Sun

Aquarius Moon

Taurus Rising


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Hi, PJ,

Thanks for sharing - I like your insight!


Amanda Holzinger profile image

Amanda Holzinger 2 years ago from New Jersey

I've dated scorpio's before and this fits them to a T! Their positive traits are GREAT. Unfortunately the negative traits don't click well with my Leo (lioness) rawrrr! haha. Great hub and very informative!


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Thanks, Amanda. I am glad what I have here was accurate! Ha:)!


aerospacefan profile image

aerospacefan 2 years ago from Chicago

Excellent description of the Scorpio male. Describes my personality to a T!


Confused777 2 years ago

I am a Taurus female dating a scorpio male. He is so confusing. What the hell does it mean when he gets so distant ? He seemed all about it then got really distant. I told him I don't like feeling stuck and asked him politely if he could just tell me how he feels, that it's ok either way. He says cares abt me but he's afraid of getting hurt and jumping in too fast and doesn't know what he wants. He recently got his heart broken about five months ago when he was in only a three month relationship. So we haven't been intimate for a couple of weeks and he's been so distant. Drives me nuts. We are buds and living together which has complicated things. I have been a great friend to him: incredibly loyal and giving. So then he asks me of I'm going to start dating other ppl. I said well I don't know what u really feel or want. I'm trying to respect ur wants and needs at same time take care of mine. I told him I'm looking to explore a relationship w someone and that I know he's not in that place right now. Was this a mistake to tell him? I don't want/need the label with him bit I want to feel that he is into us, like before. I'm at a loss. Lil help pls :-). Ty.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

I can't say for sure but I do not think it was a mistake to tell this to him Ty. Better to be honest than conceal the truth. Scorpios are very good at knowing when someone is lying. He probably sensed you were thinking of dating someone else some time ago.


Confused777 2 years ago

Ty. There is no one in particular he just asked in general if I was going to start dating BC he knows I want to find love and an looking to explore relationship w someone in general. I wanted to explore things with him but he's not in that place right now. He asked me to be patient but the prob is I don't now how he really feels, he won't come out and say it and I don't want to risk getting hurt either. Scorpios. Should I act distant too? Should I play hard to get? Act aloof like him? Tell him I'm sorry and I won't date others if that's what he wants? Ug the mind games....if i only knew how he really felt than I would be fine w being patient. Just don't want to waste time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

It is hard to say. My best advice is to be yourself and not get involved with trying to match his behaviors. Scorpios (like most people) will respond to you when it feels authentic and real. Hope this response helps!


christiansweta profile image

christiansweta 2 years ago

Your post about a scorpio male is perfect. My husband is scorpion and I am surprised that everything you have posted fits into his personality. I am gemini and its very hard to blend sometimes. But I must say he is extremely loyal, hard-working and a perfect husband. However, he is possessive and manipulating at the same time.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Hi, Christiansweta - yep, your man sounds like a Scorpio for sure! He'll love you forever and take care of you. The possessive and manipulative stuff is the ugly part of our sign. Lol. Thanks for stopping by!


aerospacefan profile image

aerospacefan 2 years ago from Chicago

Scorpio males are interesting for sure and the females even more interesting. Absolutely true that Scorpios are easy to spot - always wearing sunglasses lol


badets 2 years ago

My bf is scorpio his last message to me is i love you so much hon and thanks for everything and after that its been 3 days that his not calling or texting... emails zero..... does he still love me? Or do i need to wait for him?... i love him and worried but he does not respond to my call text and emails... i'm very confused right now...


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 2 years ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Have you tried to contact him? Was there an argument that happened? How long were you dating?


Confused777 2 years ago

Thx mister Hollywood :) appreciate ur advice.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 23 months ago from london

Quite a different kind of article, and very informative. Probably good for the ladies, I guess. Well written and researched with some experience there as well.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 23 months ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Thanks!!


universe mind 22 months ago

What you have said is so true. I'm 42 and I didn't know about these things because I was in a confining environment. I'm going to make up for that. I'm in a bad relationship and I found out that my partner is a scorpio moon and I also am a scorpio moon. I'm stuck in it for now. I just wanted to express myself


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misterhollywood 21 months ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Glad you shared! Scorpio relationships can be tuff!!!


venusianmoon profile image

venusianmoon 21 months ago

Nice article you have written. Many of the characteristics listed here rings very true.

I am in love with mine for over 2 years. A wild ride is an understatement of what we went through. A Scorpio man is both heaven & hell

The one that I am seeing has 3 personal planets in Scorpio - Sun, Venus, and Merc. Possibly Moon, but am not sure on his birth time. Although he seems cool and collected most of the time, I see the sweetest and softest heart behind those eyes. A glance in his eyes makes him fidget. I can truly see and feel his emotions in his eyes. I think it is cute to say the least - makes me want to comfort him more.

I will summarize my story as short as possible ..

ANY advice given here is very much appreciated :)

We dated for 6 mos - he pursued me passionately and I became his quickly. Things moved forward faster than I expected, 4 months into dating, he offered me his house keys so I can come to his place whenever I want to. Within those times we have dated, he has not express a single word as to how he felt about me or where I stood with him. It bothered me so much that he does not communicate as much as I would like him to. Even though, I fell in love with him... I over looked all of the flaws and began to see the soft side of him. The little things he does for me, the way he protect his inner circle... the unspoken connection we had was amazing. And of course, the physical intimacy between the two of us is electric and intense. Both of us runs on high levels of passion. Then one day, things fell between us. He left me hanging to dry alone - without an explanation. He said to me, I want to let you know that I thought about this for a very long time. You will not be happy with me. The heart break that followed after that ... was unbearable. I had no clue that my feelings ran so deep for him. Shortly after, he started to date another chick, but he continued to seek me. He will message me to check up on me. Asking me if I am okay. We continued to see each other and I can not stop the intimacy as I was in love with this man. Foolish of me because I have only created a bigger wound to heal in myself. I stopped seeing him for 2 months to focus on ME and heal spiritually though things are unresolved between us.

He became single last Fall and we reconnected again. He opened up for the first time and said he cares very much for me and not having me in his life is NOT a choice. Things felt refreshing, like we are getting to know each other all over again. We will have dinners and work out together... it felt sweet and I can feel that he has feelings for me in the last 3 years. He is always affectionate with me. When I run, he chases hard. Things are going nicely right now.. but at times I just don't know where this is headed. I have been very patient for the last 2+ years. He has his moods and I am very understanding and patient with him because I love him. BUT... I just don't know what he wants and this is why I am with holding sex from him for half a year now until I see real effort.

Can you tell me how I should handle this situation? Does this man want more with me?


Jess 18 months ago

This is so spot on!!! My love is a scorpio male and he has totally captivated me and captured my heart! There is no one else for me :)

-Aries woman who adores her Scorpio man


mikeydcarroll67 18 months ago

I would say that some of these are fairly accurate. Thanks for writing this!


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Kagi MariJade 17 months ago

These traits aren't limited to male Scorpios - I'm a non-binary, AFAB meaning I am neither/both genders, and share most or all of these characteristics as well. To some extent, a Scorpio is just a Scorpio. But well done for laying it out with such clarity, even with the overly heteronormative focus.


misterhollywood profile image

misterhollywood 17 months ago from Hollywood, CA Author

Thanks for the response. Yes - it's focused on males because that's a specific zodiac bit of information people search for. It's not overly focused on males but instead exclusively focused on males. I do respect where you are coming from though.


JMS 13 months ago

I was married to a Scorpio for 40 years, and he is gone now. We really had a wonderful soulmate relationship. He was the most wonderful loving husband, father and lover. I will always love this man and the way he showed love was so intense he has been unforgettable in my mind. I'll never forget my Raymond, but I have grieved for 10 years and now I am ready to move on. I have realized there is still room for another soulmate relationship in my life and still keep memories of my late husband and keep both in the right perspective. Your study of a Scorpio man, was to a T of my husband. He cherished me to his dying breath and I was so glad we found each other early in life. We were 15 years old and 2 weeks after we met he told me he had a premonition that we were going to get married someday.......... not really something I could handle at such a young age, but we married 3 years later........ he passed at 55 from many complications from the Vietnam war. We married 16 days before he went to Vietnam which he DID come home and that first year probably gave us the strength in our marriage to tackle anything life passed our way. We had our fights, disagreements, etc, but he made a pact to never attach each other with those horrible degrading words that really linger and hurt, that sometimes get in the way of resolutions. By the way, he was a Scorpio and I am a Leo.......... figure the odds, I guess we were the exception to the rule.


lovelace 10 months ago

Does a scorpion and a cancerian match well enough for each other..


lovelace 10 months ago

Does a scorpion and a cancerian match well enough for each other..


KVB 6 months ago

I loved your write up. It gives an insight to the most misunderstood part of a Scorpio. Thanks for taking the time.


charm88 4 months ago

What do you mean "at times have a wandering eye"? My boyfriend is a Scorpio and I sometimes speculate that he cheats.I dont want to get into details, but im pretty sure about it actually. How can he proclaim that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and then go out and cheat. What could be behind that?


MSMello 3 months ago

Actually i'm Aquarian myself, and i'm truly liking a scorpio... But i do sometimes drive him away cause i'm too curious and often ask about his personal life and past, so... LOL.


Van 2 months ago

Learned a lot about this sign...thanks dont know how to retrack criticisms I have answered him to with regards self image...he asked me about...he is distant now as a result dont know what to do n now focusing on a friend for lust or love I dont know n am confused why pick a friend to begin with to spite me or what


Prashant 2 months ago

Hi I am a Scorpio male and what you have described totally matches.

A Gemini girl is in love with me.

I searched a lot through astrological site about compatibility and came to a conclusion that it will be a "bumpy ride on smooth road" . That's why I am not taking any forward move in this relationship. Will you please suggest me something?


Jacky 7 weeks ago

Hey, so i recently met a Scorpio male at bww on a Sunday, and we hit it off. Things seemed to be going great. We hung out that following week about every day. Even went dancing and then the next day we hung out 1 on 1. Last time I saw him was Tuesday its Saturday now.

Seems like he got distant out of nowhere. We've texted a little here and there. But idk what should I be thinking?


Desiree 7 weeks ago

This is right on the dot , I'm with a Scorpio man and I'm so in love with him. I found all of this to be true about him,but seeing the signs of when he is in love with you totally match him and makes it all the better. I'm a Leo woman and odds are usually said that we aren't compatible ,but we are so intensely in love. I will say there's never a boring point in our relationship whether we are in a heated argument or heated elsewhere ;) it's literally the best thing ever. I find it fairly easy once you understand and have a open mind about them. I love my Scorpio to death. (strong emphasis on death) lol xoxox


Diane 6 weeks ago

My scorpio ex had a hard time being emotionally vulnerable. Even being together for a while he still did not want to open up.


Linda 3 weeks ago

This fits my Scorpio perfectly even in our 60s. Been dating 14 months and all of this fits. Helps me to deal with him better.


Lina 2 weeks ago

Hello! I've been craving for a scorpio since the first day he has talked to me. I am also a scorpio and his behaviour seems really weird to me. He tells me one day " you look so pretty today" and we talk like 5 minutes, then we do not talk like a week or 2. Then, we go out with our friends ( we are collegues) and he always sits next to me. Like always. I don't know how he always gets near me, but he manages somehow. The thing is, we barely talk when we go out. The only things that he tells me are like " you look so good" and we are both aware that we like each other. I am trying my best to manage somehow to talk to him, and I usually don't do that. We have like tons in common but we just don't talk. I have never craved someone so much and I would like to know if I should let things be, or Should I just talk to him. But, as I am a scorpio too, I find myself in him somehow and I somehow understand the mechanism but I would love to know if he talks to me because he is interested or just like that. Because his behaviour is described by you perfectly.: once he seems interesred then total silence. By the way, your article is the best I have ever read!! Thanks !

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    John Hollywood (misterhollywood)240 Followers
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    John Hollywood writes about pop culture topics with a psychological twist. Most articles are practical in nature with a "How To" approach.



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