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The Reasons You Are an Awful Person According to Astrology

Updated on January 10, 2017
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Sarcasm, straight shooting, satire and snark - Christin tackles all with her sharp little bark!

A humorous look at the dark side of Astrology and the negative traits of the Zodiac
A humorous look at the dark side of Astrology and the negative traits of the Zodiac | Source

Take Note!

This is a parody—meaning humor piece. It is not intended to be a serious study in Astrology, although the meanings below did indeed draw from challenging traits said to be associated with the various signs. This article was written with tongue in cheek. Please keep this in mind if you are easily offended!

Every sign is fair game in this article. It's going to be harsh, over-the-top, and all in good fun. There is no escape. Whatever sign you were born under, I will illustrate to you why it was written in the stars that you are a horrible human being.

If you leave here with a reduced self-esteem and your fragile ego torn into tiny tatters, then my job as a ruthless, backbiting Scorpio sadist is done.

Evil traits associated with the Astrological sign of Aries
Evil traits associated with the Astrological sign of Aries | Source

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are not only arrogant and confrontational, you are also extremely rigid and dogmatic. Like a boa constricting its prey with its relentless death grip; your ego avoids being bruised at all costs, even if it means alienating everyone around you.

No such thing as a purposeful debate with an Aries. You don't need things like facts and empathy for others getting in the way of your opinion. Nope, once you've made up your mind nothing, truly nothing at all, will change it.

When you're not busy annoying the will to live out of everyone around you with your aloof, know-it-all, condescension, you spend a great deal of time engaging in reckless, impulsive and undisciplined behaviors.

When a project needs to be done, you're the one who will systematically "half-ass" it, leaving it sub-par and unfinished for everyone else to attend to while you set off on your next adventure. You're the person that makes the office a truly wonderful place—when you leave.

The dark side of Taurus
The dark side of Taurus | Source

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your tendency towards self-indulgence and laziness is truly perplexing. You believe very much that the world owes you something, but lack the motivation to get up and actually work. Your possessiveness and materialistic nature often makes you jealous of others, especially the ones who actually work for the things you covet.

Your possessive nature and tendency towards jealousy also make you prone to stalking and never knowing how to take "no" for an answer, in anything, ever.

You mistake the term “frugal” with “cheap”—meaning you don't date much. You are not only cheap and self-indulgent, you tend to be rude as well. Another reason many of you live in your mother's basement well into adulthood.

The dark side of Gemini.
The dark side of Gemini. | Source

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You're a nervous Nellie who lacks decision making ability. Your inability to focus is not only annoying, it causes you to miss out on opportunities in life, which is odd considering how much value you place in superficial things like status symbols.

Gemini people are so naturally intelligent they bore easily, which is really just a lame excuse for being flaky and undependable.

What you lack in organization, you make up for with almost limitless energy. No one can create a chaotic workspace with as much enthusiasm as you.

Your dual personality means you are bi-polar moody with no direction, boundless energy and a tendency towards intense anxiety. In other words, you are a high-strung basket case and most people think you're nuts.

The dark side of Cancer in the Zodiac.
The dark side of Cancer in the Zodiac. | Source

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You are moody, oppressive, chronically pessimistic, hyper-emotional, and suffocatingly clingy. If that weren't enough, you are also prone to being a nag and will find something in any situation to unceasingly complain about.

You see every tiny challenge in life as Everest and are a chronic victim. No one on Earth has known the troubles you've seen. Everywhere you go, a violin should be following you playing a sad song.

You are more drawn to home life than excelling in career areas because—well, you can't. Your brooding pessimism and hypochondria cause you to miss too many work days and eventually you get fired, either because you don't show up, or because people really just don't want you to anymore.

The dark side of Leo.
The dark side of Leo. | Source

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your ego truly knows no bounds. You are indeed a legend in your own mind; and can't understand why others don't share the same opinions you beat them over the head with constantly while tooting your own horn.

You have an uncanny flare and excessive need for drama, coupled with an equally large lack of talent. You never let that stop you from hogging the spotlight though, because at least you are incredibly good looking.

Your sexiness and good fashion sense is of course what truly matters in your superficial world. Forget the ocean, you're about as deep as a birdbath—one that hasn't been filled in awhile.

Your controlling nature, obsessive need for attention, constant demands and lack of patience make your good looks the only thing that keeps you alive. This is especially true for Leo children who would never survive into adulthood were they not the cutest kids ever born.

The dark side of Virgo.
The dark side of Virgo. | Source

Virgo (August 23 – Sept 22)

You're fussy, hyper-critical and stubborn. This, coupled with your wholly anal retentive nature and inability to ever be pleased, make you easily one of the most excruciatingly painful people to ever have to work or live with.

You have a tendency to remain stuck in the past and to avoid all forms of modernization, while constantly complaining that nothing is working as well or efficiently as it should. No one can teach this dog any new tricks. You might learn something. Of all the signs in the zodiac, your lack of ingenuity and creative problem solving abilities is truly astounding.

You speak your mind and know that it's through “tough love” that great things happen. You value constructive criticism and brutal honesty above all else, especially when you're the one constantly dolling it out, but not so much when the favor is returned.

No matter your age, your stunning lack of personality makes you the epitome of the grumpy old man screaming at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn.

The dark side of Libra.
The dark side of Libra. | Source

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You are the ideal partner for the zodiac's more dominant signs. Your excessive vanity, inability to ever make up your mind and to be easily swayed by the opinions of those around you, make you an excellent trophy wife or doormat.

The Libra mantra is why bother having an actual thought or doing any hard work so long as you can get by with your good looks? All that thinking and being independent is hard! Libra's don't do well with anything that is emotionally challenging, unless it's their natural knack for passive aggressive behavior.

You actually have an amazing gift for playing other people. Most see you as indecisive and sort of gullible, but that's not always true. You are actually quite clever and able to show people exactly what they want to see in order to charm them into giving you your own way.

It's almost as if you aren't stupid at all and are actually very, very manipulative despite appearances to the contrary. Hmm how about that? Well played Libra, well played.

The dark side of Scorpio.
The dark side of Scorpio. | Source

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You are the most ruthless and despicable sign of the Zodiac for a reason. Seriously, no one has anything nice to say about Scorpios except you're sexy—and well that's because all the idiots from the other signs love the challenge of a “bad” boy or girl to tame who also happens to be kind of hot.

If you are unfortunate enough to be a heartless, vindictive Scorpio you've probably learned by now that your seductive nature is about the only positive thing you have going for you in the eyes of humanity. It's a good thing you take pleasure in the suffering of others or your existence would be utterly woeful.

Scorpios are by far the worst of the worst. Narcissism, jealousy, rage, blind ambition, and shrewd intellect with no compassion; you've got it all. It's like a smorgasbord of pure evil. No one is as manipulative, cunning, secretive or power hungry and nobody holds a grudge like you.

A scorpions competitive nature and need to be the leader of the pack make them formidable enemies. They will hunt you to the ends of the Earth and they never let go of a grudge. Even if you didn't do anything, if a Scorpio just doesn't like you you'll find yourself the target of their blind fury and they will delight in your destruction.

Scorpions often sneak up on their prey before stinging them and the people with this sign are no different. Even when they are smiling in your face, they are plotting your demise, unless they have a use for you, then you may be safe for awhile.

The dark side of Sagittarius.
The dark side of Sagittarius. | Source

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your utter lack of tact and diplomacy should ensure that everyone hates you, but for whatever reason, you have a fiery, magnetic personality that draws people in. Like a moth to a flame that is.

You have a passion for brutal honesty and claim to be a believer in great truths. This unvarnished truth only applies to the often distorted visions of reality in your head however, and your love of brutal honesty only travels one direction—out of your own mouth.

Despite your amazing talent for being blunt, you have a stunning inability to accept even the most constructive criticism without it being viewed as a personal assault, which is really rather ironic.

As a Sagittarius, it is your tendency to overestimate pretty much everything about yourself. You never screw up because in the land of your own mind, you can't do anything wrong and someone else is always to blame.

It's a good thing you are such a unique, quirky person with a sense of adventure otherwise your tendency towards inconsistent, careless and impulsive behavior might be seen as just reckless or stupid. Actually, it still kind of is.

The dark side of Capricorn.
The dark side of Capricorn. | Source

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You have the personality of a tree stump. Of all the signs, you are the most whiny and boring. You will always see the glass half-empty (or more), and nothing will convince you otherwise. You are the buzz kill at parties and you can suck the light out of the sunniest day.

You have never done anything spontaneous in your entire life and are quite confident that your unimaginative way of doing things is the right and proper way for everyone.

You are so preoccupied with yourself that you likely don't even notice how quickly people work to escape your presence. You are deeply in tune with your own rich emotional depths and can lament endlessly about anything, so long as it is about you.

You feel emotions with such passion one might think you should be an empathetic, caring soul, but that would be untrue. You have an astounding inability to empathize with others and only view their pain by comparing it to your own eternal suffering.

Some say you're shy—you're actually not, you're completely self-absorbed and anti-social. You aren't an introvert, you're an a**. Oh, nevermind. Suffice it to say, you have zero social skills and spend a lot of time alone because you are your own favorite person.

The dark side of Aquarius.
The dark side of Aquarius. | Source

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You are unpredictable, inconsistent, unyielding and stubborn. Your all or nothing attitude secures your spot as an extremist in whatever areas you obsess about in life. You are a control freak and probably a bit of a narcissist which enables you to turn your emotions on and off at will and as needed.

You feign good listening skills, but the truth is you have your mind made up and no amount of reasoning, facts, or other such inconveniences are going to get you to part with your own version of the truth. Wherever a passionate, illogical, irrational extremist is needed an Aquarius is there to heed the call.

You have never been on time to any event ever. If it was possible for anyone to actually be late to their own funeral; it would be you. You are unpredictable, detached and don't care if your tardiness impacts others in a negative way. The team members you work with hate you.

You do what you want when you want and laugh in the face of any semblance of order. The only time you don't do this is when others happen to be running late—at that point you get all cranky and moody and wonder how anyone could have the audacity to inconvenience you.

You are manipulative, moody, melodramatic and probably pretty much any other negative M word there is - or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter.

The dark side of Pisces.
The dark side of Pisces. | Source

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your idealism knows no bounds, which is probably why you spend most of your life escaping from reality rather than doing any actual work. You're the wounded idealist who is chronically demoralized and you have the ability to turn any molehill into a mountain larger than Everest.

Your perfectionism stops you before you ever really try. Everyone else's best could never be good enough for you because you are such a special snowflake.

You are very fussy and unreasonable to most people and others don't really like it when you seek to help them, since you are only doing it for selfish reasons.

You are not as altruistic as you would have people believe. Your need to be needed and recognized fuels your desire to help others. The motives of a Pisces are never pure and they often come with a price. Munchausen anyone?

Your over-sensitive and pessimistic nature, combined with your self-sabotaging perfectionism means you are destined for a life of mediocrity. You will never be truly successful at anything, because doing that would require you to get out of your own way—and that's just not in your nature.


So there you have it: the dark side of Astrology and the reasons why, no matter who you are, you are an awful human being, especially if you are a Scorpio like me.

Know any negative traits I missed? You're welcome to share them in the comments below—if you dare!

Do you recognize the dark humor in your sign?

See results

© 2015 Christin Sander

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    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 3 days ago from Midwest

      Not really sure what you are trying to say here Shreya - but this post was a satirical post - not to be taken too seriously.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 3 days ago from Midwest

      Hmmm Tina, I wasn't aware that incontinence was associated with any of those signs ;) ... thanks for the read and comment glad you enjoyed the post.

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      shreya chopra 3 days ago

      I am virgo & feels that every human being is blessed with positive & negative traits. There is only one reason is that people keep on saying about till they think you are better than them.

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      Tina 4 days ago

      Pisces ascendant, Sagittarius sun, Gemini moon and I think I peed a little reading me and my hubby's signs lol you nailed it

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      Christin Sander 4 days ago from Midwest

      lol good one TheOne ;)

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      TheOne 5 days ago

      I think I saw in a dictionary Aries being a synonym of "Superman". Oh, and I wrote the dictionary. :^)

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      Christin Sander 5 days ago from Midwest

      lol thanks Kenneth, we also tend to share the same dark sense of humor in our sign too eh? :)

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      Kenneth 5 days ago

      Wow,how much more,accurate could you get??lol,us scorpios have a way of reading others very well

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      Vpd 3 weeks ago

      Scorpios are good at Flattery! Big time!

      Sting in the back means - Lack of confidence up front, ie always looses the first round or bout..

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      Christin Sander 4 weeks ago from Midwest

      Another good - you have a sense of humor :) Thanks Taii - If I had a nickel for all the snowflake comments I get on this satirical hub, it would be making me much better money ha! Glad you got a laugh out of it - that was my hidden sadistic Scorpion goal - make them all die laughing. ;).

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      Taii 4 weeks ago

      Gahahahahaha I'm over here dying of laughter because of how true this is for all these signs, especially mine--- Aquarius. :'D Ascendant in Aquarius, too, so what sh*t you see is what sh*t you get, lol.

      I have done and continue to do all these things lol. I was laughing so hard at everything. . . And the only reason I can accept that and not get my little ego's feels all bend out of shape is because I constantly am trying to remedy my bad parts. I've pretty much realised all this was true years ago and am presently trying to not be a massive toolish dick, lmao. XD

      Also, my moon sign is Sag, which had me completely relating to the 'complete lack of tact and diplomacy.' You hit the nail on the head. XD

      I constantly say the WORST sounding things, yet I still have friends somehow? :'D If I had a nickel for every friend's ego I've thoughtlessly bashed. . .

      Couple that with Aquarius' superiority complex means I cannot tell when I am talking down to people. :'D Literally.

      My only winning trait is that I call it like it is on myself, too. Haha, if I bash you, I bash me too and laugh about it~ ;D

      Don't get me started about my Leo boyfriend with a Pisces moon, and Ascendant in Scorpio. :'D Jesus. . .

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      Christin Sander 4 weeks ago from Midwest

      Awesome Xcogitant - I love it :) One of my closest friends is a Gemini and so was my grandfather - they both really did talk a lot - of course my grandpa was my favorite person in the world and I was too young to know if he knew what he was talking about or not lol ;)

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      Xcogitant 4 weeks ago

      That was really light tbf; am used to being likened to a mosquito or so by other astrologers (Gemini) xD

      "Gemini people are so naturally intelligent they bore easily, which is really just a lame excuse for being flaky and undependable."

      That's pretty accurate, am true to type and usually half-finishing 5675464 projects. I change my mood/mind a lot too. I am always being distracted and end up doing several things at once because they need to be done. Not unusual to have 20+ tabs open in a browser.

      "You are a high-strung basket case and most people think you're nuts." - Agree 0.o. So would everyone else.

      You forgot to mention the fact we never stop talking ;D Although I don't see an incessant mouth as a negative trait, it sure as hell annoys some others (particularly Scorpios who want to murderize us!) We like to learn and explain random things through as many lenses as possible because they excite us, and verbalizing it all is just an automatic function of Gemini xD Despite debates, and plenty of playing Devil's advocate, tbf, am not even sure that (m)any of us has a solid belief or opinion about anything whatsoever, however, but it's just how it is (I like tagging ideologies and theories with probability quotients).

      - Honest Gemini (or is that an oxymoron?)

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 weeks ago from Midwest

      I'm sorry Natasha - at least you aren't a Scorpio like me ;) thanks for the read

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      natasha 5 weeks ago

      truth be told , Sagittarius

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 weeks ago from Midwest

      I'm a horrible, soulless, vindictive Scorpio ;) lol

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      Olivia 5 weeks ago

      Very funny Chris! Loved it. What's your sign?

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      Christin Sander 5 weeks ago from Midwest

      Ok then Chris good luck with that :)

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      Chris 5 weeks ago

      I'm a Virgo so I'll add some more nasty astrology about me...and all you other Virgos!!! First of all in 2017 we Virgos stop getting in our own way. This includes destroying the barriers we build around ourselves. No more hours spent in obsessive mental activity. No more hate and fear. We Virgos are full of hate and fear, like hating people who can't do their jobs, hating people who unnecessarily move things, hating brash people, hating wasting money, being scared to shine, scared of becoming sick, scared of our own imperfections, it goes on and on. It is time for Virgos to break out in and out of the bedroom.

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      Christin Sander 6 weeks ago from Midwest

      Glad you enjoyed it Mikele and took in the spirit with which it was intended :)

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      Mikele 6 weeks ago

      I love it... 90% true to a Pisces like me. Haha

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      Josh Silva-Arias 7 weeks ago

      I love it!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 8 weeks ago from Midwest

      Oh my word, why do people not read the 5 different places I say this is a satire piece. My experience with Astrology is minimal, I've studied it a bit with some interest but find it lacking overall. Psychology and Sociology are much better subjects to study to gauge actual human behavior. this was a comedy piece. The very first paragraph states " This is a parody—meaning humor piece. It is not intended to be a serious study in Astrology, although the meanings below did indeed draw from challenging traits said to be associated with the various signs. This article was written with tongue in cheek. Please keep this in mind if you are easily offended!"

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      Balakrishna Kondapalli 8 weeks ago

      Aquarian myself it was a nice article and prediction of one's negative traits.

      Most of them seems to be true as well as false.

      Example: 2nd paragraph and the line

      pretty much any other negative M word there is - or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter.

      I would like to know about your experience with astrology.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 months ago from Midwest

      :) Thanks for the read and comment patrycja much appreciated

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      Patrycja 2 months ago

      I'm spontaneously replying because I'm sitting here alone having a coffee with my favorite person! Oh, Christin Sander you're my new favorite. And what, no wiki page do call your own?!

      So apropos for all! I LOVES IT!

      Yes, as a Capricorn I can even bore myself! Nearly every sign is in my family, this really is them! It's quite comical AND they think I'm nuts! I'm going to make a montage of these and J. Hall quote "He is a very humble man, that thinks not himself better than some others"

      Kudos Christin Sanders

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      Christin Sander 2 months ago from Midwest

      anon, I've known many Libras I was born to one, I'm married to one, divorced another one - you'd think I'd learn lol

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      Christin Sander 2 months ago from Midwest

      Oh dear Chisom,

      you truly have seen the dark side of some people. Very sorry for what you went through. I doubt it was due to their birth signs, I'm guessing she was an outright narcissistic psychopath and he was an idiot. In the end, you were probably better off that she ended up with his lying, cheating butt. I hope things are improving for you now.

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      Chisom 2 months ago

      My best friends and worst enemies belong to the sign of Scorpio for whatever reason. The worst enemy I had from that sign (born Oct 27) broke up my marriage and married my husband (Sagittarius) through lies and deception. She told him our daughter was somebody else's child and provided fake proof. Not only that, she tried to kill me before our wedding because she had a crush on him. During our engagement, my husband and I had problems and temporarily broke up, and he started flirting with her. To her credit, she didn't know we were engaged. When she did know, she never let it go. Especially when she found out him and his family were millionaires and that I was also pregnant. She literally seethed with jealousy and felt I had stolen him from her. Either way, she broke up our marriage and took him for herself. Ignoring the fact that I had three children. But I hate him too for constantly cheating on me with her. To hell with both if them!

      {Libra born Oct 22}

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 months ago from Midwest

      Ha Denise, I'm married to a Libra and was raised by one so I understand all too well your devious, sneaky ways ;) thanks for reading.

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      Denise 2 months ago

      Spot on for me as an indecisive Libra who can use charm for good or bad....Damn you! HA!!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 3 months ago from Midwest

      Understood Karlicious - it wasn't you, it was them ;) - just kidding. I've known some PITA Aquarians myself. Thanks for the read, comment etc. glad you enjoyed the hub.

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      Karlicious 3 months ago

      Omg haha your description of Aquarians is soooo accurate! I know this is a satire, but it describes actual Aquarians I know perfectly. They really are self centered and show offy. They think they know everything and are sort of insensitive to others' opinions and the way people get around things. They believe that everyone is wrong, and that they are right. They have a suppermassive superiority complex! Not your ideal friends haha.

      Of course, not all Aquas are the same, I've just been through a lot of bad things with the many many Aquarians I knew :(

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      Christin Sander 3 months ago from Midwest

      haha Tyler, best of luck to you and thanks for the read and comment.

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      Tyler 3 months ago

      This was hilarious, and equally true, sadly. Atleast for me as a Sag. I shall heed your words and seek to better myself in these areas, but my futile attempts will be quickly dashed by my inconsistent commitment.

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      Christin Sander 4 months ago from Midwest

      Embrace your dark side Karen it'll be alright ;) glad you enjoyed it.

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      Karen Watson 4 months ago

      Hi this was quite amusing, & oh so not untrue, i'am a Libra, so what was said about be able to play people, i never really thought of it in that way, i would just have thought i have the ability to convince people to see things as i do, if this is being manipulative i guess i would describe myself as a soft sell, funny stuff.

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      Christin Sander 4 months ago from Midwest

      Picked up on that did ya Syoni :) Nice to meet a fellow Scorpio hell minion. Thanks for the read and comment - oh and for having a sense of humor and recognizing Satire.

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      Syoni 4 months ago

      Omg, this is flipping hilarious! Gosh being a scorpio is rough, rough, rough! The worst of the worst and the only likable quality, the only good thing for humanity is, seduction. Well, hell, I'll take that. I am flipping sexy and don't sweat anyone's mess ever. Lol, I guess I can just shake my boobs at the world and watch it burn, muahahaha.

      Just playing, all these blurbs were a good little look at the darker yet, intriguing side of the zodiac. Good show.

      Ps, knew you had to be in the scorpio club some kinda way with your very witty and snippy replies. Tell them, like Janelle Monae, get off your areola!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 4 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Adriana

      Glad you enjoyed the humor from a fellow screwed up human ;).

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      Adriana 4 months ago

      Hey Abbi,

      "Despite your amazing talent for being blunt, you have a stunning inability to accept even the most constructive criticism without it being viewed as a personal assault, which is really rather ironic."

      Relax, it's humor. Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. I'm a Pisces and I admit, that is spot on. All I can do is laugh at myself and see myself as it is. These all crack me up and are all spot on. We are all a little bit screwed up, we are human. Love the humor! Thanks for sharing Christin!

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      Ankita 4 months ago

      Absolutely relatable... #gemini

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 4 months ago from Midwest

      Hey Abbi,

      Satire. Reading comprehension is your friend. You should try understanding what you've read before posting in haste? Who am I? A writer of Satire - for people with a sense of humor.

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      Abbi. 4 months ago

      Who are you to tell people you don't even know what's wrong with them? I am a Sagittarius, but what you said isn't true. I know my place and I don't cross the boundaries of being too honest. What you said wasn't right nor was it true.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 4 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Alex, glad you enjoyed the hub

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      Alex 4 months ago

      yes I am a crusty old man much of the time! But loved the dark Saggi humour on all of the signs. Too bloody true. Astrology is a fascinating often accurate study. But puzzling as to why it works, despite the Guaquelins, there is still no real theory. with the aid of Parker's Astrology. have Just done an eyeball on Theresa May, Sun Libra wth 4 planets in Leo, 2 in Virgo, Brexit may well be her Nemesis.

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      M.P 4 months ago

      I'm not usually late to events, but if I am, it's either because I don't care about the event or it's something I'm not really interested in. Example: Going to a convention that I'm not really interested in with friends lol.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      Sorry to disappoint Bhaarath.... I'll try harder next time.

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      Bhaarath 5 months ago

      Wasn't as ruthless as expected.

      -Virgo

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      Awesome Vashti, nothing wrong with a dark sense of humor. I find it to be one of my better traits lol.

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      Vashti 5 months ago

      OMG! Not only do I recognize myself, my entire family is accurately described! Yes, you guessed it. Dysfunction junction. Good thing I can laugh at myself, while others are merely fodder for my rather dark sense of humor. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      Oh dear, I feel sorry for your friends then Linds ;) Thanks for the read and comment

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      Well, you know what they say - in every tease/joke there is often some truth. :)

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      Linds 5 months ago

      This is dead on. Me and my husband are such a holes lol

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      Bonnie 5 months ago

      I thought this was hilarious!! There are definitely some things that are true!

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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      J, it was a satire piece not a serious study in Astrology.

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      5 months ago

      It had some good points, but people have difrerent planet signs with different influences which make this inaccurate.

      For example, my sun sign is sagittarius, but i still have some scorpio traits due to my scorpio moon, mars and venus.

      At the end the post still describes signs quite well. Enjoyable

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      Christin Sander 5 months ago from Midwest

      You know, I think you are very right about the Aquarius people I happen to know as well - great observation lol. Thanks so much for the read and comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed the article!

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      Mickeyroo 5 months ago

      I laughed so hard at this! Utterly fantastic! Only thing I'd add is about Aquarius (I know a ton of them) and it's this: They always carry a pedestal around with them just in case someone wants to put them up on it. LOL I'm a Cancer the Crab and I was laughing out loud over it! Parody, maybe, but utterly true...no denying!

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      Christin Sander 6 months ago from Midwest

      Detian do Pisces also have reading comprehension problems? I stated multiple times this is a satirical piece. Why do people not read and then go on the offensive FFS's SATIRE

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      Detian 6 months ago

      The sign of Pisces is so easily attackable. You stepped on pisces, omg! I felt hurt, but not because what you say is true, always angers me seeing my sign as the weakest. If I said that in Scorpio, believe me, you see your self-esteem kicked.

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      Christin Sander 6 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Tayler, glad you took it in the satirical sense it was intended :)

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      Christin Sander 6 months ago from Midwest

      I think Nicole missed the part that said this wasn't intended to be a serious study in astrology... yikes.

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      nicole 6 months ago

      i am sagitarius , virgo rising , and as all analyses in 12 astro signs , it's very basic, some traits are true, most are not, but I think it's normal , not everybody , no matter their signs are at the same level of evolution , hence each person has to pass through all these "stages" to finally realize. analysing 7billions and 1/2 people in 12 quick sentences is absurd anyways , it's like saying that humans are divided in 12 groups and are all the same , while we know that not one person is the same as the others, not even twins are similar

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      Tayler 6 months ago

      I'm a leo and I can be all of those things. I'm an attention whore with a flair for drama. And a big ego and extremely gorgeous body ;) I enjoyed this satire and I wasn't offended.

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      Christin Sander 9 months ago from Midwest

      Jazmin - this was a PARODY and was clearly stated SATIRE throughout, but I guess it's ok for you to hurt people's feelings by cursing at them on the internet without even knowing what you are reading or talking about. Did you even READ the whole first paragraph where i said it was satire? Way to overreact hon, now go grab a cup of something warm and cozy and lighten the "F" up mkay?

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      Jazmin Brice 9 months ago

      This was the worst. Im sry if you think pisces are selfish but thats not who i am or any pisces i know. We all are very giving and love. Im sry if your cold and dark inside but dont go posting the bullshit around and making us feel bad. FUCK U. (p.s. pisces have a bad side that you dont wanna be on lady)

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      Christin Sander 9 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Zola - I'm sure you're just as lovely as a person as all the others who have read and commented ;)

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      Zola 9 months ago

      Funny, funny! I do love myself and you could too, if you would get to know me and you want - Capricorn!

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      Christin Sander 9 months ago from Midwest

      haha Lian, glad you enjoyed it. :)

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      Lian Grace 9 months ago

      Inability to focus when bored - check ...create chaotic work spaces - check ... 2 days to make a decision and stick with it - check ... nutso basket case at times - check ... Gemini and proud of it - check check check! ... Thanks for making me laugh and smile ... you made my day

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      Christin Sander 10 months ago from Midwest

      :) you're welcome capedread, thanks for the great comment, much appreciated.

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      capedread 10 months ago

      what a hoot am a Taurus ha ha, and it's all true except for Jealous, I am but I hide it well! too proud to cause a scene. I just dump the guy no one needs unhappiness.

      I live with my son, Aries, poor me, he is exactly what you say!!!!! the devil to live with! Also I look after my granddaughter who is 3 , Libra!!!!! and already she is smart and manipulative and has that passive aggressive side to her. I always claimed she should be a boy but now realize she is just being a Libra......thanks for a great read :)

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      Christin Sander 10 months ago from Midwest

      lol, I should maybe be scared of you then CAS ;) thanks for the read and comment.

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      CAS 10 months ago

      I am a cancer sun sign with a Scorpio Asendent. That being said, I RELATE more to the Scorpio Traits more than the Cancer trates. However, I do see some of the Cancer traites but minut. Scorpio Cery much so!

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      Christin Sander 11 months ago from Midwest

      Hi Karolena,

      We all have our dark sides, that being said, this hub was meant to be entertaining and not a serious study in astrology, :)

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      Karolena 11 months ago

      Libra. Some so true to me unfortunately. I do see many traits in myself and others. Like if I didn't know their sign and had to guess from this information, I would be pretty accurate.

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      11 months ago

      Bad traits of taurus and Scorpio, mixed

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      lol gemini, sorry for not approving your comment sooner, it was filtered due to the link to healing music - apparently they think gemini's are spammers lol

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      I am a Scorpio and much more of a badass than you I'm sure Liz. Cheers! :D

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      lol, I don't know many Taurus people personally - probably for good reason ;)

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      Glad you found it funny lulia :) My grandpa was a gemini and so is my best friend. Both flaky, both kinda crazy and both two of the awesomest people I've ever known too ;).

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      santhosh 12 months ago

      so true about Taurus (self-indulgent, covet,stubborn, and mama's basement :))

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      Iulia 12 months ago

      What a laugh!!! Gemini here.

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      Good, glad you weren't offended :) yes, my kids are leos I understand. lol

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      SouthernChick 12 months ago

      I was totally kidding. Not offendee at all. I think it was spot on actually! Now I know what the deal is with my 3 kids lol.

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      I would hope you would not be offended by Satire - it is a humorous hub written tongue in cheek as I expressed at the beginning :)

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      SouthernChick 12 months ago

      As a Libra, I still haven't decided if I am offended or not....

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      you're welcome Happylovejoy - we all have a bit of a dark side, every human. I think when we embrace that as the truth it is, it helps us become better because we are willing to be honest with ourselves when our less nice tendencies emerge. Thanks for the read and comment, so glad you enjoyed it :)

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      Kawai 12 months ago from Singapore

      It's creepy but there is a degree to true in your description above. Thanks for pointing out my flaws, I will try to work harder to be a better individual.=) .thanks for this entertaining piece!

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      Apparently so deep you don't recognize satire when you read it Bree ;) (kidding) Glad you enjoyed it - although it was written very tongue in cheek lol. Capricorn is my Rising sign and I'm a Scorpio - so, yeah. :D I'm pretty intense and I'd rather take a beating than make meaningless small talk so I can relate. This article however is not a serious study in astrology at all :).

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      Bree 12 months ago

      I did really like this article though I found it interesting to see how other people viewed my sign and how friends fit into these depending on their sign. I have to say on the surface Capricorns definitely come off as those things, but I feel like under the surface we are so much more and deep and emotional than we are given credit for. I do agree with the self absorbed trait though

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      Bree 12 months ago

      I'm a Capricorn, but I don't really see myself that way, I seem boring to people who don't know me, yet very few people know who I really am.

      I am also very optimistic and I love to see everything in the best light possible, the glass is always half full. I annoy people, because of my easy going and positive nature,pisses people off when they are complaining and I come around and point out something wonderful about the situation. I consider myself a free spirited, idealist, who loves change.

      The only thing that was true for me is that I really am my favorite person. I love people and making friends and doing crazy things with them, but nothing beats quality me-time. When im by myself I don't have to worry about a damn thing and i can sing, dress up,and dance and I know that no one is judging me. That is why I don't spend much time with other people besides friends and family, because I perfer real, emotionally, deep people, who will talk about insane ideas with me and you can't find that easily.

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      Stephy Varghese 12 months ago

      (thumbs up)...i love zodiac articles...:D

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      lol svdolphin I love Leo's - well as much as a Scorpio can love anyone I suppose ;) Both my kids are Leo - so I know.... lol

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      Stephy Varghese 12 months ago

      Leo. :D... what can I say?

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      Christin Sander 12 months ago from Midwest

      Yes, yes we are devils - and we love it lol. My Libra husband is a lot like you - a deep thinker who loves to learn, he's also pretty so I keep him around to entertain me ;)

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      Kori 12 months ago

      Though!!** lol accidentally hit post. ..I'm also a perfectionist and you Scorpios are the devil ;)

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      Kori 12 months ago

      These were great...you say it's all in fun but you're pretty much correct.. across the board.. Guess you have to ease all the offended morons. I'm a Libra but you only partially got me pegged. I'm not superficial but actually I'm a very deep person who loves learning And thinking and figuring things out all on her own. .. i am however skilled enough to be one step ahead while making you believe I'm two steps behind. . Manipulative. ..definitely. .indecisive. ...idk? Trophy wife? Possibly. Doormat? Hell no! !

      Good job thigh

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      Christin Sander 13 months ago from Midwest

      I'm afraid of both of you then Kendra ;) lol thanks for the read and comment.

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      Kendra 13 months ago

      I am a pisces and my boyfriend is a scorpio. Both are spot on!!

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      Christin Sander 13 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Deborah glad you found it funny :)

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      Deborah Demander 13 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      This hub was hilarious. I totally agree with the Gemini, which is what I am. And I agreed with a lot of the others too.

      Well done!

      Namaste

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 13 months ago from Midwest

      mgt28 It was a satire piece not to be taken too seriously ;). Every human being has both positive and negative characteristics and this piece was written to be over the top. All in good fun!

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      mgt28 13 months ago

      Interesting. I reluctantly agreed with my zodiac sign. Looks as it fits.

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      GeminiMegini 13 months ago

      But my Mother always told me ... doesn't matter.

      Still a cool Hub^^

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      Christin Sander 13 months ago from Midwest

      lol, hope it helps Gemini - we can't all be awesome, sorry ;) Thanks for the read and comment glad you enjoyed the hub.

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      GeminiMegini 13 months ago

      Wow, I'm disorganized and two-faced?!

      This is so hurting, I'm just sitting here and listening to this for the next 10 hours: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEYFzldOcCw&li...

      But at least I'm not a Capricorn ;D

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Chathushkie much appreciated :D

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      Chathushkie Jayasinghe 14 months ago from Sri Lanka

      Haha I'm a high strung basket case and people think I'm nuts! :') Funny yet accurate xD

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      How funny - I'm a Halloween baby too lol :) I'm not as bad as I'm alleged to be either ;) certainly not timid, but not horrible either. But according to most things I've read Scorpios are supposed to be the worst human beings alive - jealous, vengeful all of that. I found it so ridiculous that it kind of inspired my satire piece here lol. Someone I know always shares horoscope things on Facebook - and Scorpios are always made out to be horrible, awful people and I found it hilarious.

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      VagabondTrousers 14 months ago

      Really??? My older sister is a Scorpio (born on Halloween, no less!) and is the most timid person I've ever met. Is it all just an act? :^D And here I thought I was the only hothead in the family...

      Thanks for the insider info. I'll be sure to keep that in mind and try not to set her off.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Vagabond for the read and comment. Although you Aries folks have nothing on us Scorpios when it comes to rage ;) lol.

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      VagabondTrousers 14 months ago

      Having just discovered this page (and this site, for that matter), I must say that I, as an Aries - the premier sign of the Zodiac - do not take offense at what you've written here. It goes against everything in me because...well, because I know everything! But I'm going to be the bigger person and just let it go. The other eleven signs, however, are SPOT ON!

      Seriously though, this was very good. I know at least one person of every sign and what you've written here is painfully true (if somewhat exaggerated) with one small exception. Although you did mention our confrontational nature, you left out the bit about Aries people having extremely short fuses and how it takes very little for us to explode with rage. The older I get, the shorter IT gets. No fair! I thought it was supposed to be the other way round: the older you get, you develop more self-control and the wiser and more chill you become. Or maybe you just have less patience with idiots and are less inclined to put up with their nonsense. Anyway, great article. Thanks for the laugh.

    • CYong74 profile image

      Cedric Yong 14 months ago from Singapore

      Libra here. Seeking people, preferably Leos and Virgos to manipulate and fool with.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Hi Barine - it was written as satire so I'm glad you were able to laugh at it - have a great day.

    • Barine Sambaris profile image

      Barine Sambaris 14 months ago from Nigeria

      I don't if I should be offended or laugh. But am going to laugh if off, then I won't be accused of being humorless and boring. My sign is Capricorn by the way.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Sure you're not Lisa ;) I believe you *wink wink* - just kidding - thanks for the read and comment. Honestly Astrology and Tarot have little to nothing to do with each other though :)

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      It was a satirical piece Naveed - if it actually applies that's kind of scary ;) lol

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      thanks for the read and comment roob but I think even God thinks mean people suck ;)

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      Lisa VanVorst 14 months ago from New Jersey

      This was fun reading. I read not only my sign Taurus, but signs of my family members. I am nothing like what Taurus says, truly I am not. However my daughter who is a Gemini and my husband who is a Cancer have some of those traits. My son who is a Scorpio have none. Sure it is just for fun, but I always read the horoscopes. One of my employees is so much into Astrology that she should be a Tarot Card Reader. Thanks for sharing.

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      Naveed Jan 14 months ago

      most of the scorpion thing is true. sadly some of it applies to me

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      Ruby 14 months ago from USA

      what about the reasons it doesn't matter because God loves you?(:

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      Sukhneet Kaur Bhatti 14 months ago from India

      Really written in a very interesting tone. I am a Gemini and could relate a few characteristics to me, but not completely. Thumbs up for this wonderful piece of write up. Enjoyed :)

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Prstgngtjt not sure how you prouounce that ;) I appreciate the comment and read.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Awesome shanmarie - glad you enjoyed it.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      As long as you're honest about it Rachael ;) thanks for reading and commenting.

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      Prstgngtjt 14 months ago

      hahah that was a good read

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      Shannon 14 months ago from Texas

      This might just be the best horoscope material I've ever read. LOL

    • RachaelLefler profile image

      Rachael Lefler 14 months ago from Illinois

      " Your controlling nature, obsessive need for attention, constant demands and lack of patience make your good looks the only thing that keeps you alive." I know it :P

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      You're welcome Robin thanks for the comment :)

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      Robin Grosswirth 14 months ago from New York

      I found the humor in it. Thanks for a fun read.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      Philly bob - it's a satire piece ;) thanks.

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      Philly Bob 14 months ago

      Some parts of mine are true to the core, others, not so much.

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      Christin Sander 14 months ago from Midwest

      lol thanks raven :) it was "loosely based" on some Libras I know ;)

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      raven101347 14 months ago

      we all have a "dark" side and i had to really laugh because what was said about Libras is really true. I am a Libra and i have the hardest times making decisions and at times i have been a 'doormat'. i loved it

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Linda - glad you got a kick out of it :)

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      Linda Pretorius 15 months ago from Welkom, Free State, South Africa

      Hahaha, although meant as a joke, some of it is seriously true. I'm a Pisces and although I'm not at all selfish, I'm a serious perfectionist. I actually hate that about myself, do you realize how much that keeps me away from doing certain stuff, just because it is not perfect.

      Well, in the end, thanks for sharing, it was interesting to see some of my friends "evil traits". I will keep an eye on them to see how much of it I see in them.

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks David, glad you got a kick out of it :)

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      David Niry 15 months ago

      Ha ha ha !!! That was hilarious. I'm an aquarius. Well done and spot on for th most part. I'll take most of these as compliments though ;)

      "You are manipulative, moody, melodramatic and probably pretty much any other negative M word there is - or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter." lmao :D

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      Very true Lil - most people try to avoid appearing like the awful people they are and try to pretend they are sunshine and rainbows all the time - and that isn't true. Every human being has a dark side! It's good to use humor to diffuse it and many people connected with this satirical piece - so that says something :)

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      Lil 15 months ago

      This is all of us on a shit day,there's no denying and some of us can add a double heaping ,being cuspturds..

      I have a great book about the birth day and your individual character traits ,good/bad ,medium ,med. rare and dry and tasteless are just a few of the flavors.anywho!(great book ) ANYWHO

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      lol thanks Robert :) Unfortunately, some take this way too seriously and I have been contacted, emailed, Facebooked and everything else for being nasty and mean - seriously. People don't read or don't understand "satire" :D I appreciate the read and comment. Nothing wrong with an aries - as one smart-ass sign to another I can appreciate the value of snark.

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      Robert Levine 15 months ago from Brookline, Massachusetts

      Christin, your preliminary warning is unnecessary: there is no such thing as a serious study in astrology! In college, I took an honor seminar on the scientific method called "Science and Pseudoscience." We had a guest speaker one day who was a magician and, like many magicians, was active in debunking claims of the paranormal. He began his section on astrology: "Astronomy and astrology have eight things in common. The first is that they both deal with celestial bodies. The other seven are the letters A, S, T, R, O, O, and Y."

      Nonetheless, I'll be the first to admit that I, born March 30, am a typical Aries--a hot-headed smart-ass.

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      My interest in Astrology is actually quite passive - I did some basic research but this piece is satire. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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      Kk3 15 months ago

      When I read about Sagittarius I actually thought the article was written by a Scorpio! And here you are!:)

      I also noticed those "You never screw up because in the land of your own mind, you cannot do anything wrong and someone else is always to blame" attitude of Sagittarius.

      The article was quite accurate.

      How long is it that you've been observing the signs?

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      Christin Sander 15 months ago from Midwest

      Shibanan - did you read the SEVEN places where I said it was a satirical piece? Perhaps your angry Scorpion nature needs some therapy. I think it is you who need to get over yourself darling. Muahhhh

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      Shibanan 15 months ago

      I disagree with your statement about Scorpio and will never read your blog again. You wrote "A scorpions competitive nature and need to be the leader of the pack" It SHOULD read "A Scorpion's competitive nature and need to be the leader of the pack" Get over yourself.

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      Hey taz, agreed. My husband is a Libra also :) thanks for the read and comment

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      Taz_devil 16 months ago

      I am a scorpio and have a libra husband, and he is a manipulative person but hey, we're scorpions can always manipulate them even better, right :-D i agree with you that our sign is actually the worst, and thank God all the time for surrounding me with people who understand that eventhough i am the worst, they still manage to love me wholeheartedly :-)

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Caila - glad you enjoyed it

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      Caila 16 months ago

      Hahaha. I love it! I thought my sign was funny and pretty accurate at times

      Aries all the way! Haha

      Others were pretty accurate for people I know as well.

      Good job on this article, very clever and funny.

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      Sure thing Noname - I believe you *cough*

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      Noname ;) 16 months ago

      I'm Capricorn and the only one that sorta described me was stubborn

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      - apparently my comment wasn't viewed as humorous as intended ;) I wasn't offended.

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      Disagreement 16 months ago

      Hey hey! No offence sister :) The article's fantastic, and most of the Capricorn traits aren't untrue: "boring", "self-absorbed" - those were spot on :D Me being a bit anti-social might actually turn out to be true, seeing as I might have offended you. I tend to come across as rude when I write things on the web, but that wouldn't be so in real life. Wish you a happy new year! ;)

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      Ok then disagreement - I can see you also lack a sense of humor seeing as how this piece is satire ;) please don't hit my face into a table lest you become the victim of furious Scorpio rage ;) thanks for the read and comment have a nice day.

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      Disagreement 16 months ago

      I'm a freaking Capricorn and my bad traits ain't quite that. If there's things I'm good at, that's being real social. One really "evil trait" that I notice in myself is that I don't like being pissed off. And by "don't like", I mean never, ever try to do that to me. If you think Karma's a bitch, wait 'til you piss off a Capricorn.

      Another thing. We don't care about things we do, or the consequences very much. That's more true of an evil trait than those you listed. I mean, if a dude sitting next to me annoys me, I'll smack his head on the table and keep on conversating with others like nothing happened. Or if I get a peculiar device in my hands that I can't figure out how to use, I'll kick it out sporting my "duh" face.

      Other than that, great article :). You nailed most of the signs!

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      Christin Sander 16 months ago from Midwest

      she has a few argumentative Sag's in her family writejt ;)

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      ROY T JAMES 17 months ago from chennai, india

      I think this hub is full of truth. Like for me(sagittarius) when it says "This unvarnished truth only applies to the often distorted visions of reality in your head", I wonder, how the author found out!

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      and very self-aware jojo great job ;) thanks for the read and comment.

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      Jojo 17 months ago

      Yep some of that is true for me. I wouldn't say that I'm my own favourite person though....well not all the time hahaha. Lucky for this boRing tree stump cappy I am on the cusp of big mouth saggy and my rising sign is sexy superficial Leo with Venus in Aquarius. Yep bipolar I am but a boring bipolar lol

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      You're very welcome Isabel :) glad you got a chuckle out of it.

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      Isabel B. 17 months ago

      Loved this!! It described everyone i know to the T. Except me of course, LOL. Im saving it and showing it to a particular scorpio i know. Thanks for all the laughs, really appreciate it.

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      That's cool. I'm a malicious Scorpio and pretty proud of that too ;) glad you enjoyed the hub Cee-Jay

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      Cee-Jay Aurinko 17 months ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Excellent review Christine. According to your hub, people throw parties when I leave the office. But I'm an Aries and I'm proud of it. :D

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      LoL Shyron it's not really as bad as all that now is it? :) Thanks for the read and comment glad you enjoyed the hub :)

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      Shyron E Shenko 17 months ago from Texas

      Christin, this says it all, I will not tell you which sign I am, because it fits, and no one likes to hear their nasty side, lol.

      Blessings,

      Shyron

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      Karin 17 months ago

      My boyfriend (pisces) says that i am exactly that and still he loves me. Of course i'm a scorpio .....

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Lisa, although I did it in a tongue and cheek fashion, I did do some research into the different darker aspects of the signs when writing it. I may have even looked to some examples of people in my own life ;) lol. In every piece of humor; there is usually a bit of truth too - thanks for the read and comment. :)

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      Lisa 17 months ago

      Aquarius here. The reason I enjoyed this read was because although you intended it to be a parody, I could truly see the worst of my sign on a really bad day in it. I love astrology and this has some real truth in it. Good thing I have the ability to just laugh at my own quirky self. So from your list I'm guilty at times of being:

      Control freak- check

      Always late- check

      Melodramatic- double check!!

      Loved this read!

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Wizz - much appreciated.

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      Wizznitch 17 months ago

      Yep thats me....for real. And everyone else i know, esp. Sagittarius. And Im so Aries that I didn't read the rest of the comments, I'm just that right!!

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks JemSky - yes it is satire - glad you found the funny in it.

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      JemSky 17 months ago

      I'm a Gemini. At first I was offended & then I re-read,parts are true,as parts are not true but it's all in good fun! Very amusing & interesting! Good job!

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      Christin Sander 17 months ago from Midwest

      I hope it isn't really true Lokesh ;) thanks for reading and commenting

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      Lokesh 17 months ago from Umak

      It is true..!!!

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      Christin Sander 18 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment ketage :) much appreciated - may your finger have a full and speedy recovery.

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      ketage 18 months ago from Croatia

      LOL, about half true I would say, but then we all have our darker side don't we :)

      PS: I want to complain, I scrolled a heck of a long way to find my sign, you nearly gave my poor finger a cramp :P

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      Christin Sander 18 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Syd, there can be some truth in Satire.

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      Syd 18 months ago

      So true it kinda freaked me out

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      Christin Sander 19 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Jean :) lol - I had a few real people in mind when I wrote it too - shhhh ;)

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      Jean Bakula 19 months ago from New Jersey

      Great fun! I had real people in mind, especially reading Virgo and Libra!

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      Christin Sander 20 months ago from Midwest

      lol, thanks Lucille - so glad you enjoyed the hub. Thanks for commenting :) Have a great day.

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      Lucille Uttermohlen 20 months ago from Indiana

      Your hub is a real treat. Even we Virgos have a sense of humor sometimes. It hurts, but it happens.

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      Christin Sander 21 months ago from Midwest

      Glad you found it humorous Guy thanks for the read and comment.

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      Guysvirus 21 months ago

      Capricorns hahaha, they are actually known for their dark humor, so this is actually quite amusing to us. We are not boring, we are always down to some serious business. I've always been asked to swing by people's parties because i add some controversial fun. Thanks for sharing i had a good late night laugh

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      Kristen Howe 21 months ago from Northeast Ohio

      You're welcome Christin.

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      Christin Sander 21 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Kristen glad you got a laugh out of it :)

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      Kristen Howe 21 months ago from Northeast Ohio

      Interesting hub, my friend. I'm a Gemini. Thanks for making me laugh a little bit for my horoscope's parody. I haven't read them in newspapers in a long time. Voted up!

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      moonlake, it's satire not intended to be taken seriously.

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      moonlake 22 months ago from America

      Now I feel terrible about myself. I didn't know I was that lazy.

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      :D Thanks for the read and share Dolores - glad you enjoyed it!

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      Dolores Monet 22 months ago from East Coast, United States

      I love how, when you read your own sign, you just say to yourself - well, yes that's me! This time, reading the signs for my family and friends, I was, oh yeah, that's them alright! Haha, thanks for the laughs. This was great (and shared).

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      Mariampie it can be a good trait to have at times, that's for sure. thanks for reading and commenting you special snowflake you ;) have a great weekend.

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      Mariam 22 months ago from Potato town

      Aloof must be the best sign about mine . Because it is what makes me special from others :)

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Brandon - so glad you enjoyed it.

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      Brandon 22 months ago from Houston, Texas

      Lol I love this great hub

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Jeff, glad you found it funny and are sharing it - much appreciated :)

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      Jeff 22 months ago

      I'm a Leo on the cusp of Virgo and both fit me damnit! Very funny but with some accuracy. Can't wait to share this!

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Pawandeep glad you enjoyed the hub.

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      Pawandeep 22 months ago

      I am Virgo great to read this I like your Hub pages

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      Christin Sander 22 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Pawan

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      Pawan 22 months ago

      I liked your hub pages reading each of your work and experiences

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks fellow Scorpio for the read and comment. Although written as Satire, there is often some truth in comedy :)

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      Anthony H 23 months ago

      This is pretty accurate for me as a Scorpio

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Hazel - it's dark humor, not intended to be taken too seriously :)

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      Hazel Abee 23 months ago from Malaysia

      NO the hub is not hurtful ... but it is just a 'tap' on the shoulder ..

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Hazel, I hope you realize this hub was intended to be Satire - not hurtful.

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      Hazel Abee 23 months ago from Malaysia

      ... People often want to know what they like to know .... But knowing what is the truth is difficult to digest ..

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Awesome Karla thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment - so glad you enjoyed the hub.

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      Karla/Gemini 23 months ago

      Hilarious!!! Read every family members... Your humor...I loved it!

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      ;) at least you aren't a sadist like me who everyone hates Deb - there's a bright side lol. Thanks for the read and comment. Have a great weekend.

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      DebMartin 23 months ago

      OMG! I am so boring and oppressive. This explains a lot about why I have such challenging relationships. It's a good thing I enjoy my own company over the company of others.

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment didil13579 glad you can embrace your dark side :)

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      didil13579 23 months ago

      I am a cancer, and I'm pretty proud of my "dark side". Though most would find it pretty annoying, I really like me, especially when I'm not.

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Of course not lizzie some of favorite people I love to hate ....or hate to love? are my Libra husband and mother ;). Thanks for the read and comment. Glad you took the harsh horoscope in stride, those who embrace their dark side live longer - it's scientifically proven lol.

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      lizzielibra 23 months ago

      So I read this with a Libra friend. When we got to Libra I read the part about being clever and manipulative aloud, and I kid you not, we dead stared at each other and said that is so me!

      I love hate that about myself but I mostly love that Im not as stupid as people perceive me to be.

      It's not even that I'm manipulative to be mean. I just give them what they want so I get what I want.

      Is that so bad. . .

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks gemguy :) glad you got a laugh out of it - that's what makes life worthwhile

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      gemguy 23 months ago

      Oh yea gemini, another sign that gets a lotta bad rap. I guess we got our dark twin too. Or maybe it's my black moon in Scorpio that people don't like. Good post ChristinS - u gotta laff.

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      Steve 23 months ago

      My Venus is Scorpio, so I do appreciate cold humor xD

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Steve, glad you enjoyed the hub. As a Capricorn I'm amazed to discover you have a sense of humor ;) - seriously though, thanks for the read and comment :D much appreciated.

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      Steve 23 months ago

      Capricorn - gotta be honest, I quite enjoyed reading this, so true that it's hilarious xD thanks for the entertainment.

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      Steve 23 months ago

      (Capricorn)

      Gotta be honest, I enjoyed reading this and it's very true xDD but hilarious

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Jayne! So glad you enjoyed it and took it in the spirit for which it was intended. It's been making the rounds today I see and I'm so happy so many are getting a laugh out of it. :)

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      Jayne 23 months ago

      I love this!!! Sooooo funny! I am an Aquarian and this was great to read. Most of it was dead on. We definitely need a dose of reality. Thanks!!

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks N for the read and comment. As a partial Aquarian it doesn't surprise me that you don't see yourself in a dark light ;) - thanks for the read and comment glad you enjoyed the humor in it :)

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks Rossa for the read and comment - glad you enjoyed the hub - now get off my lawn! ;)

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thank you Juliana - my Scorpio nature is thrilled that you are offended, yet still willing to share the post ;). much appreciated.

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      23 months ago

      As someone who is surrounded by Libras, Leos, Pisceans and Taureans I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Im a Capricorn/Aquarius. So i see both of those signs traits in myself. Fortunately i dont see them in the dark light that youve worded them. Lol.

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      Rossa 23 months ago

      Virgo :) i know that i can be that old guy screaming at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn... Got it somewhere deep in me.

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      Juliana 23 months ago

      I'm a Sagittarius, so obviously, I'm really offended by your mean words. Ahah, this is so great! Thanks for this article, definitely reposting it.

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      Christin Sander 23 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks RP glad you enjoyed the hub - although it was satire :)

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      RP 23 months ago

      This is pretty correct i would, esply reading about my " fussy" husband....He never admits he is one !!

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      Christin Sander 24 months ago from Midwest

      Thanks kathysart, I do have several hubs on Freelance writing. I appreciate the compliment :) have a great day.

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      kathysart 24 months ago

      Well YOU write brilliantly! Very impressed. Happy day to you. Yes I am going to start blogging for sure. I have some new biz ideas. Do you happen to have a hug on blogging tips? ~Kathy

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      Christin Sander 24 months ago from Midwest

      Hi kathysart; I can understand how that was a slap in the face for former Squids. I'd have been upset too, but get back in the writing game again if you love it :) Heck if you don't want to use HP consider a blogging platform even.

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      kathysart 24 months ago

      Wow, interesting info. I have been MIA as far as Hub goes but your writing here makes me want to get back into it. That was a cold leap the day Squidoo ended, but onward!

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      Christin Sander 24 months ago from Midwest

      Yes, quicksand indeed no one was spared - hence the title ;). It was intended to be satirical/sarcastic in nature. Glad you rechecked again :).

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      quicksand 2 years ago

      Oops! Sorry I jumped the gun! When I arrived at this page I only checked out what my sign sez. Then, terribly disappointed I scrolled down in a hurry and left a remark.

      On my next visit, out of sheer curiosity I wanted to see who the good guys were. Then ... thank GOD there weren't any !!!!!!

      It's great to be in bad company!

      Cheers!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      you sure about that quicksand? ;) thanks for the read and comment

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 2 years ago

      Jeeez! I am not one hundredth as bad as you say I am ... !!!

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      Gabriela 2 years ago

      we do! Otherwise we wouldn't be able to enjoy this dark side off our sign

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      :) so glad you enjoyed the hub fellow Scorpion - we do have a twisted sense of humor huh?

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      Gabriela 2 years ago

      hahaha great hub. As an Scorpio, I have to say reading this was like a slap in the face. But in a fun way. Loved it!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Totally peotryman - of course everyone else can use the same excuse, so you may not be safe after all ;) lol thanks for the read and comment.

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      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Thank Gawd I now have an excuse the next time I want Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (to quote the bard AC/DC). My zodiac made me do it! I was a victim of circumstances.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      I doubt that Cornelia - thanks for the read and comment :) glad you enjoyed the hub.

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      Korneliya Yonkova 2 years ago from Cork, Ireland

      Super cool hub. Well, I am an awfull person with or without astrology. LOL :)

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks FatBoyThin for the read and comment. Glad you enjoyed the hub.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      :) I have two Leo kids and wouldn't have it any other way Lyoness - Thanks for the read and comment.

    • FatBoyThin profile image

      Colin Garrow 2 years ago from Kinneff, Scotland

      Hmm - I am a bit like that (Taurus), but thankfully I can keep my dark side under wraps. Most of the time. Great Hub.

    • lyoness913 profile image

      Wendi Pembridge Skilling 2 years ago from Overland Park, KS

      Yes, the whole Leo thing summed me up when I was younger. It's a good think I am realizing the error of my ways. ;) Great hub!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Alanakae - glad you enjoyed the hub!

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      Alanakae 2 years ago

      Im a Libra and you are 100% correct. I didn't find anything mean about that lol... But I'm not like most :)

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Yuimi :) so happy you found it funny and enjoyed it. Have a lovely, wicked day ;).

    • Yuimi Vashum profile image

      Yuimi Vashum 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

      OMG!! hahhahahah.... I felt so wicked. Never knew I made office so much better by leaving :P Made my day! Thanks! :D

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thank you pagesvoice for the read and comment :) glad you found it entertaining!

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      Dennis L. Page 2 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      Horoscopes are a form of entertainment (for me anyway) and this was certainly an entertaining post. Some people, like Nancy Reagan, followed these and tried to influence Ronald's trips and if I am correct, even some of his decisions. However, the real sign for Taurus does seem to fit me in several areas.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      So am I Eve - you sure about that? ;) thanks for the read and comment.

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      Eve 2 years ago

      I'm a Scorpio female. Gosh I'm not that messed up! Lol

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Sami - glad you enjoyed the hub. I appreciate the read and comments. Have a great weekend.

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      Sami 2 years ago

      Pretty accurate lol ..Cancerian/Sagittarian ..Enjoyed this :)

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comment Amna :)

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      Amna 2 years ago

      I love this, it's quite true!!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      lol thanks mommyblogger - glad you enjoyed the hub :)

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      Missy 2 years ago from The Midwest

      I'm a Gemini. Seems legit lol.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Laughter is always good :) glad you got a kick out of it, thanks for reading and commenting.

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      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      I had to laugh! There I was in that Aquarius dark side!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Thomas for the read and comment :) glad you enjoyed the hub.

    • Thomas Swan profile image

      Thomas Swan 2 years ago from New Zealand

      Yikes, this was more accurate than I wanted it to be. Still, it's all mumbo jumbo.... has to be.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      haha aesta1 - but only a small grain right? :) thanks for the read and comment.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hate to admit it but it has a grain of truth.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Hi Amber - yes as Scorpios we must always embrace the dark side. This is how we dominate every other pitiful sign out there muahahaha. Thanks for the read and comment ;) .

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      Amber 2 years ago

      Damn girl You are on fire. I'm a Scorpio too and this is hilarious. I love it. It's accurate and kind of funny. Anyway isn't it good to embrace the dark side?

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      I had to LOL at the Scorpios never die a natural death one - very funny :) Thanks for the read and comment.

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 2 years ago from New York City

      As a one-time (long, long ago) practicing astrologer, I especially appreciate the humor. National Lampoon once did a feature article with a similar attitude, but they didn't give it as much length or breath, leaning more on the one-liners.

      A memorable one was that "Scorpios never die a natural death." They get murdered.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Glad you enjoyed the hub David - :) thanks for reading and commenting.

    • DavidCombs profile image

      DavidCombs 2 years ago

      wow! I know this is supposed to be humorous but you hit my astrological sign pretty accurately. nice job

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Vonda, you are apparently not reading the 5 different locations in this hub where it says it's a parody and satire. Perhaps you belong to the sign that needs to improve its reading comprehension skills ;)

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      Vonda Gee 2 years ago from New York

      Even though I think what I read about my "sign" is silly, I do believe that each sign in some way comes from their own "planet" of sorts. One of the reasons why some people share the same behaviors and may even think the same way. I find it extremely silly that in 2015, people still go out their way to categorize random people they do not know, neither have no involvement with. I can see if there was some type of exchange that took place between the two individual that brought about your thoughts or perception, but to have a detailed overview that supposedly represents who they are is preposterous. It's no wonder why some people would rather stay to themselves.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      haha thank you Lioness - :) I beg to differ however as I have 2 leo children and I know your game all to well lol :)

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      Leo the Lioness 2 years ago

      I agree with them all....well, except the Leo. We're never like that!!! As if!!

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Yes, we Scorpios are a force to be reckoned with Ammon muahaha ;) thanks for reading and commenting.

    • Ammon Beardmore profile image

      Ammon Beardmore 2 years ago

      Scorpios are scary!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks MonkeyShine glad you enjoyed the hub :)

    • MonkeyShine75 profile image

      Mara Alexander 2 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Great hub, and well I can't reveal my birthday because, well because, it isn't right, yes, that's it :)

      Voted up

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Hi Jan - are you a fellow Scorpio too then I take it? lol - thanks for the read and comment - much appreciated :)

    • Jan Lova profile image

      Jan Lova 2 years ago

      Enjoyed it, even though I'm the worst sign among the zodiac signs;)... But there are things that I recognized in myself and others whom I know. I would also add on "sarcasm all the way"))

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Hi Flourish :) So glad you enjoyed it. Both my sons are Leo's and I love them madly :).

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Hi sprickita, thank you so much :). I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Fortunately, it wasn't meant to be serious and although there are some very tiny grains of truth in them, overall it's meant to be an over the top spoof. I'm sure you'll find a career that is excellent for you ultimately. I've known some Cancers who are very creative and do well. :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      I love it! I'm a Leo!

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      sprickita 2 years ago from Reno

      Love Love Love your stuff!! Always very original, captive and as with this one, it is, omg amazing how spot on you are.....

      June 23 Cancer yikes (although I can not hide from work as I live where I work-currently, can't say though its never happened in my past when hiding was an option lol) Good Read ty

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Hi Camille,

      These are very loosely based on negative astrology traits and since we are all human, we all have a bit of a "dark side" so in that respect perhaps - but overall? No, I am not a vindictive, spiteful, vile human being ;) lol.

    • Camille Harris profile image

      Camille Harris 2 years ago from SF Bay Area

      I love this! I happen to be born on the cusp of Leo and Virgo, so I get the best of the worst (critical, stubborn (Virgo) + demanding, impatient (Leo)).

      Do the Scorpio traits resonate with you?

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      That's sad MizBejabbers. I'm betting the reason might have something to do with Adsense policies though? They get so silly with it things like breastfeeding hubs get filtered. I would suggest asking the author to resubmit and contact HubPages directly, sometimes they can override the auto filters for certain topics.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      oops my bad :) I didn't look at that closely enough tsad - there is definitely a distinct difference :)

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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      I don't know, Christin, it was an informative hub about a controversial STD. There was no mean spirit about it. She was trying to be helpful. I notice that all the Christian hubs stay published no matter how derogatory toward other people they get.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Not southerner's, rednecks, Like they say se'f deprecashun, it does th' body fine. It's th' milk of hoomin kindness !

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      LoL Tsad - sorry I didn't get a notification for your comment or I'd have approved it sooner. I may need to look up a few translations of the southernisms - but I think I got the gist - you're right, everyone else sucks and you're awesome - is that about right? ;) Thanks for the laugh - you can have your beer back now.

    • ChristinS profile image
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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      I understand MizBejabbers so far HP hasn't said anything about it and it's featured, so I'm not worried that anything will happen. I think people don't understand satire or parody sometimes and think it's meant to actually be insulting or mean spirited. Even if something is mean spirited, I'm all about free speech. It is appalling to live in a world where cartoonists get assassinated for example when people can choose to just not read or look at material they find objectionable. Humans are sometimes strange!

      For the most part though everyone has liked the hub and taken it in the spirit intended :) Perhaps that FB person was just having a bad day who knows? I'm sure there's nothing objectionable here that would warrant actually being taken down. I try to be careful to bend, but never break the rules lol.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      That's appalling, Christin. We "normal" people should not have to be censored by the likes of "them". Being a journalist, I shudder every time someone mentions censorship, and that's what forcing you to take down this delightful hub would be. I made a decent comment on a controversial hub yesterday, mainly because nobody else had commented, and the author apparently answered my comment. Today the hub is not there so I can't see what she said. It makes me so mad I can't see straight.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Ok ,Christin, yo' axed fo' it

      "hold mah beer"(..famous redneck last words).

      Do yo' knows th' origeen of th' wo'd parody? Origeenally it was a phrase, "pair of "d"s which meant "downright dumb". Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker." Yep granny told us all about it an' ah's hyar t'tell ya this hyar is jest thet "downright dumb".

      Take me fo' example thar. Ah's one a them thar sagitarianisans.

      "You're utter lack of tact and diplomacy should ensure that everyone hates you, but for whatever reason, you have a fiery, magnetic personality that draws people in. Like a moth to a flame that is."

      Thet ain't me an' ev'ryone knows it. Th' horses haf plenty of tack in th' tack house an' ah nevah evah shop at macys.

      "You have a passion for brutal honesty and claim to be a believer in great truths. This unvarnished truth only applies to the often distorted visions of reality in your head however, and your love of brutal honesty only travels one direction – out of your own mouth."

      Thar is only one great truth, thet thar th' Good Book, an' thar ain't no thin' like disto'ted vishuns of reality in mah haid. ah knows ev'rybody hates me only 'cuz ah's allus right an' they is allus wrong an' thass jest a fack of reality.

      "Despite your amazing talent for being blunt, you have a stunning inability to accept even the most constructive criticism without it being viewed as a personal assault, which is really rather ironic."

      Watch it, watch out. ah take this hyar as a varmintal assault.

      "As a Sagittarius, it is your tendency to overestimate pretty much everything about yourself. You never screw up because in the land of your own mind, you can't do anything wrong and someone else is always to blame."

      Yo' jest said thet on account o' ah already said it. Yo' ARE th' blame cuz yo' screwed up not me.

      "It's a good thing you are such a unique, quirky person with a sense of adventure otherwise your tendency towards inconsistent, careless and impulsive behavior might be seen as just reckless or stupid. Actually, it still kind of is."

      Now yo' call me quirky ! Fry mah hide! Ev'rybody knows ah's not gay so now who is th' reckless an' stoopid one.

      So christin, eff'n all thet ain't jest "downight dumb" ah doesn't knows whut is. I may sound bitter, clingn' t'guns o' religion o' havn antipathy t'varmints who isn't like me but ah have t'have a way t'explain mah frestrashuns .

      How is thet fo' a pair of "d"s

      :-) Great hub page Christin

      http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectt.cgi

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      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      I'm afraid the reality is that any individual who cannot see the humor in this or takes any offense whatsoever to a bit of fun amongst friends, is a seriously pathetic human being indeed!! Laughter is in high demand and I, for one, thank you!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      hmmm, well most Libras I know are actually pretty nice so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt MHiggins :) Glad you enjoyed the hub!

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      Michael Higgins 2 years ago from Michigan

      Great hub, Christin! Now being a Libra, you'll have to figure out whether I'm telling you what you want to hear of if I'm manipulating you somehow. :) Enjoyed the read!

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Paula :) I'm totally digging all the fun comments this post is getting.

      I plan to leave it published until someone inevitably takes offense and tries to report me or sabotage it somehow. No matter how many "humor" "parody" "I'm not serious get a sense of humor" warnings one places on pieces like this, inevitably someone comes along who is a chronic offendee who wants to ruin the party ;) lol. Someone on FB was already hating on it earlier *eyeroll*.

      Ironically enough, I wrote this when my mother posted something to my FB wall about Scorpio being the most evil sign in the zodiac and of course, her sign, Libra was painted with unicorns and rainbows - the most wonderful blah blah blah... so I did a little research and decided to highlight the "evil" in everyone across the board since it seems us Scorpio folks are the ones always getting dissed :).

      I appreciate the vote, tweet and pin truly :) Thanks.

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      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      As I wear a wig & sunglasses.......I freely admit to being every bit as dastardly as your research has discovered, Christin. Quite revealing as well as difficult to swallow, but truth always prevails in the end!

      After all....as loving, awesome & generous as I am, of course I have to have a few tiny faults!!..........This was fun. How long are you leaving it published??........LOL!.....UP++++tweeted & pinned

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      lol - great comment Catherine it's always great to see the silver lining ;). Thanks so much for the vote and share - much appreciated. :D glad you got a kick out of the hub.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      I love this. It turns astrology on it's head since astrologist columns always tell you how wonderful you are and all the wonderful things that will happen to you. You got it right except for Aquarius, my sign. We do not have negative traits. We are not stubborn; we are persistent. We are not moody; we have deeply felt emotions. We are not unpredictable; we are creative. But now I understand why I am always late. Voting up and sharing. Great job.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      So glad I could give you a laugh in the middle of a serious day MizBejabbers - that's what it's all about :). See we Scorpio's aren't always such vile creatures ;). Thanks very much for the funny comment and of course the votes and shares - very much appreciated. Interestingly enough my husband and my mother are both Libras.

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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Thanks, I needed a laugh in the middle of a serious day, especially since your Aries described Mr. B to a fine-fare-the-well. Now, me, of course, I'm a well-balanced Libra. We Libras have to have balance and harmony in our lives, and the only reason we get our of the harmonious state is because we have to put up with the rest of the Zodiac.

      Seriously, there really is some truth in the parody. I'm not an astrologist, but some of my friends are, and they tell me that there is a dark side to every sign. One of my favorite astrology books years ago was a parody of astrological signs, but it was stolen by a cunning, narcissistic Scorpio that I was dating. Voted up and funny and shared.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Valeant - much appreciate the share and glad you enjoyed the hub :) It seems it has been getting some facebook love today from a few people which is very exciting :).

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      JOC 2 years ago from Syracuse, NY

      Nailed it. And I reposted it to Facebook as it is pretty interesting.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      You're offended huh? Good my work here is done ;) - glad you enjoyed the hub and got a chuckle out of it.

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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I am deeply offended ;-) I know I should not say this but your parody on my sign was just to close to home. I suppose in all good humor there is a spark of truth to it. Great hub, very fun.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      Ernestine - as stated throughout the hub several times it was a parody - a joke, in no way intended to be taken seriously.

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      Christin Sander 2 years ago from Midwest

      :) glad you enjoyed the hub. I doubt you are really that kind of person

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      ErnestineShingary 2 years ago

      I don't consider that to be true.

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      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      I absolutely agreed with most of these signs featured. I admit that i am that kind of person. Thanks for reminding me

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