Andrea has a background in Myers-Briggs and Western astrology. She mostly writes about relationships.
Parenting a Challenging Scorpio Child
Scorpio children can be a handful. They're independent, aloof, emotional, expressive, attached to their families, and pretty strange. Scorpios need attentive parents who can embrace the full scope of their child's emotions, since Scorpio children want to explore some very deep topics. They're ambitious, and they can be trouble-makers.
Common Traits of Scorpio Kids
- Rebellious: Scorpio children are often rebels. They like to do things their own way. They question boundaries.
- Emotional: Your child may have outbursts, anger issues, depression, or anxiety. They need reassuring parents who give direction and not too much discipline. Your support of them matters.
- Complex: Your child may like the villains in movies rather than the heroes.
- Contradictory: They may seem mature for their age and at other times amazingly immature. They might do extremely well in school or poorly.
- Creative: They'll likely make interesting clothing choices in high school.
- Watchful: Scorpio is constantly observing people.
- Sensitive: They're in tune to the vibes that people and settings give off. They prefer a grounded, nourishing home over one with too much discipline.
- Ambitious: They have a deep desire to be successful.
Understanding Your Child
As a parent, understanding astrology can help you better understand your child. All Scorpios have certain things in common from their Sun sign. Studying the Scorpio sign can help you cater your parenting style to your child or teen's personality.
Don't panic if your child is a Scorpio and you don't have a lot of experience with this sign. Scorpios may seem scary, but honestly they're some of the best children you can have. They'll love you back deeply if you meet their needs, and you can count on them to make sure you're well taken care of when you reach old age.
Scorpio Is a Water Element
Scorpio is one of three signs that belong to the water element. The other two are Cancer and Pisces. Water signs focus on personal relationships; they want to express themselves deeply, and they have a lot of emotional depth. The water signs tend to be more caring and empathetic.
Scorpio is very introspective and interpersonal—they only let a select few into their most private circle. They like to watch other people and see what kind of emotions others express; this is how they get to know someone.
Scorpio will try to push boundaries and push your buttons to see how you react. They want to know your worst emotions and fears, and they also want to know what makes you so wonderful. They're trying to figure out what makes you tick. They'll try to unmask you. They want to know if you're good or bad.
Water signs are naturally nurturing. They can be sensitive to the reactions of others. They're drawn to the arts and music. They can be moody, restless, passionate, determined, and demanding. Scorpio knows what it wants and will expect to get it. This child has high expectations of people and sometimes needs help learning to give people some space (sometimes, they also give people too much space). Scorpio children can be very demanding of their parents' or siblings' time.
Scorpio Is a Fixed Sign
Scorpio is the fixed water sign. This means your child is stubborn and likes things their own way. Scorpio will fight for what they believe. They will go on the path they choose, even if it might offend or confuse others.
The fixed energy causes the Scorpio to be very passionate, determined, and, at times, disciplined. Scorpios can be very hard on themselves because of their fixed modality. Your child will strive to be the best in something, but sometimes they can be blinded by their ambitions.
Fixed personalities are decisive. They don't change their minds very easily. They like things to be firm and set, and they like plans to be in place. Scorpio children will be offended if you constantly change plans or if you never make plans that fit their interests. It hurts their feelings when you are fickle. They want you to love them and never sway from that.
Scorpio's Season Is Fall
The Scorpio child is born in the middle of fall, which is dominated by Halloween and other related holidays. Your child may think and talk about death a lot more than your other kids. They've actually considered mortality.
They're not trying to spook you, for the most part, but they do realize that everything is temporary. Since they know things are temporary, they want to try really hard to live their lives and be as passionate as possible—otherwise, they feel drained and can barely get anything done due to depression.
Read More From Exemplore
Your child may be intrigued by costumes and disguises. They may seem to wear a metaphorical mask and try to hide from you. They're very private and will expect that you give them privacy. They sometimes feel more comfortable expressing themselves as an actor, in disguise, in a costume, or with a flashy outfit.
Scorpio children sometimes put on displays like this as a way to protect themselves—the disguise is their armor. Don't make a fuss over their clothes; just accept them. If you accept their armor, in a way, you accept them.
Your child may seem sweet and sour. They'll likely want to give you love but also want to mess with you. Think of them as trying out different expressions to gain emotional understanding and charisma. Your Scorpio child will likely go back and forth on giving you treats and tricking you.
A lot of Scorpio children prefer darker clothes—deep blues, purples, and blacks. They don't necessarily want to wear a bright color and feel like everyone can see them. A lot of Scorpio children care a lot about their looks, so they may want you to invest in their fashion and hygiene more than your other children do. Scorpios can be a little materialistic.
Scorpio's Ruling Planet Is Mars
Scorpio children are ruled by the warring planet Mars. Aries is also ruled by this planet. Your child is apt to fits, to anger, and to tantrums. They want control; they want power. It's very hard as a child to have any power. Your child may try to outsmart or outmaneuver you in part because of Mars' influence.
As a parent of a Scorpio child, you should focus more so on nurturing them rather than trying to be competitive with them. A Scorpio child can be addicted to competition, so they'll take the bait from you. Competitive parents should be careful how they rile up their Scorpio kid. Make sure you teach them how to be a good sport, how to be egalitarian, and how to care about the little guys.
With the right parents, a Scorpio can be a powerful force of empathy. Scorpio children often prefer their moms, since women often let themselves be more nurturing. Scorpios will gravitate to parents who:
- offer them more hugs and reassurance,
- cook them good meals,
- help them with chores,
- have self-control,
- are not too hard on them, and
- are slow to anger and quick to love.
Don't fall for a Scorpio tantrum trap. They're trying to get the worst out of you and get you to show your crazy side. Instead, calmly guide them out of tantrums—you'll win their respect this way. Scorpios are very sensitive, so if you're mean to them or discipline them too hard, they'll take that to heart.
This child may push your patience, so you may have to slow down to think things through so you don't amplify the situation or turn it into chaos. It may seem like a simple singular moment, but what you do as a parent is lasting. You make up part of your child's inner voice as an adult.
Scorpio Children and Maturity
Scorpio children have one of the hardest paths toward maturity. They have a dense web of emotions to discover, grow through, and master. A lot of parents give up on their Scorpio children or don't give them the attention that they deserve. Parents will cut their Scorpio kids short, which in turn can give the children mental complexes.
Scorpio children have a challenging path to face. They are the first sign in the zodiac to really encounter and recognize death. This can be very overwhelming, as you can imagine. Some parents distance themselves from their Scorpio children because they think they're weird. This is one of the worst things you can do to them. Don't let your child feel like they're a misfit in the family or unwelcome. They need to be included and invited. (A vampire won't enter your house unless you invite them, by the way.)
The Three Developmental Stages of Scorpios
Scorpio children have so many emotional expressions, which are reflected in the sign's symbols. Most of the Sun signs only have one symbol, but Scorpio has the most symbols attached to it with three:
The Scorpio will have to go through these three stages in its development. Parents, you might not see your child in their final phoenix stage, since this often isn't reached until adulthood—and even later adulthood.
Stage 1: The Snake
Scorpio starts as the snake. It slithers around like a predator, looking for ways to survive. The snake is cunning, brash, sneaky, and manipulative. The snake stage isn't very caring or kind. It's more about getting what it wants, when it wants, and making sure its plans go accordingly.
The snake is very protective of its own kind; it prefers the night, and it wants things cool and not too hot. The snake may keep to itself and only reveal its heart to those it really trusts.
How Parents Can Help With This Stage
It will be important to gain the trust of your Scorpio child. They can close you out suddenly. Don't panic if they do so, but respect their boundaries. Complaining that they have closed you out could potentially cause them to push you away further.
Stage 2: The Scorpion
Eventually, the snake will morph into the scorpion, which isn't a great place, either. The scorpion is essentially the snake but with legs and poison. The scorpion is deadly, it moves quickly, and it also can be pretty mean to those that it loves.
How Parents Can Help With This Stage
Your Scorpio child in this stage wants to show off, impress, gain power, and take on the world. It's wise to give them a good mix of competitive things to do, like sports, and combine that with volunteer service.
Even though Scorpio has a lot of yin and feminine energy, it's also getting a ton of masculine energy from Mars. It's important as a parent to help them balance this out so they can mature and function overall.
- A child with a lot of Mars energy needs activity to burn through that energy—they need a parent who can direct them through their aggression.
- A child with a lot of yin needs a very reassuring environment—they need a parent who can direct them through their sensitive ways.
Scorpio kids might do well to have their own garden that they can nurture. This is helpful both for aggressive and sensitive kids.
Stage 3: The Phoenix
The phoenix is a challenging stage to master. Often, Scorpios will briefly enter the phoenix stage and then cycle back to the snake and scorpion. It takes practice to master the phoenix stage and stay in it for long periods of time.
The phoenix is all about sacrifice. They really care about others and know that, to overcome existential crises, one must follow the golden rule: Do to others as you would have done to you.
How Parents Can Help With This Stage
Children are not necessarily known for their sacrificial behavior. If you want your child to grow, the Scorpio must be given chances to sacrifice and show that they care about others and would even put others above themselves.
This is the ultimate lesson parents of Scorpio children need to teach them: Sacrifice is more important than survival. This is a lesson that's going to take a lifetime, so don't expect them to ace it in one sitting. In the right circumstances, Scorpio will evolve out of the snake and scorpion—keep in mind that Scorpio is obsessed with development, stages, and levels. In a way, Scorpio symbolizes evolution and the secrets it holds for maturity.
How to Decorate Your Home for a Child With Water Energy
I'm a big fan of decorating your home for your family's energy. If you have a Scorpio child, you may want to have a space for them that's based in the water element. Having a home that is open to their element can help them feel safe, accepted, and understood. They may not necessarily know that you are trying to build a home that fits their personality and needs, but they will feel the comfort it brings.
Indoor Ideas for Scorpios
- Try adding water fountains, snow globes, or water features into your home.
- Add more mirrors into your home. Water is about reflection, so mirrors can mimic that. Mirrors can help with the flow of energy. Your child might be a little vain, too, and would like to see their face from time to time.
- In Feng Shui, color is one of the easiest ways to bring energy into a room. To bring in a water feel, paint a wall blue.
- Add black and white pictures to your walls or watercolor paintings. Black-colored accessories offer a hint of the water element, and black gives a more masculine or yang feel to water energy. (Blue gives a more feminine or yin feel.)
- Add pictures of water landscapes to your home as well.
- Add in more furniture or other items with a blue color to help with the energy. Blue accessory pillows, rugs, towels, and window shades could also help to bring out water energy.
- Add antique blue glass in the kitchen and in other places. Little signatures of blue can help you get the vibe you desire in your home.
- Water energy does well in the north area of your home.
- Light fixtures could also help bring out that water vibe. Add in lamps that remind you of the ocean, figurines of mermaids, or lamps made of shells.
- Decorate with ships in bottles, navigational items, globes, and the like.
- Consider having a rain stick or rain noise in your home to help create the right vibe for your child. Water sounds can be soothing to them.
- Sharp and straight angles go with yang; curves go with yin. Water overall is more of a yin energy.
- It's best not to add more water Feng Shui into a bathroom as it already has a lot of water features.
Outdoor Ideas for Scorpios
- Children do well to go outside and learn from the elements. A Scorpio child will enjoy having a pond where they can watch fishes, a creek that they can play in, a fountain they can enjoy, and/or a window or screened-in porch from which they can watch rain or snow.
- If you don't have an outdoor space or cannot incorporate water features into your yard, take Scorpio children out to rivers, lakes, or the beach to get some fresh air and to watch the waves.
Animal Companions for Scorpios
- Consider adding a fish bowl or aquarium. Scorpios will enjoy having pets: fish, insects, lizards, and birds all go along with their journey's path.
- Scorpios also love cats and dogs. Scorpios sometimes shut out people, so it's a good idea to have a pet with whom they can feel more comfortable. Having a pet can also teach them responsibility and how to nurture something.
How to Study the Water Element in Tarot
In Tarot, the water element is symbolized by the house of cups. The cups from Ace to King go on a path through emotional development. With a Scorpio, it will be key to follow their emotional development and help them grow into a kind, wise, and well-tempered adult.
Your child will likely go through dozens of moods as they mature from child to teen to adult. They'll need parents who can reassure them and give them direction, parents who are sensitive and kind, and parents who recognize them for their unique talents.
Understanding Scorpio via Tarot: Suit of Cups
|Cards||Description||Meaning for Child|
Ace of Cups
Indicates new beginnings
Your child may be drawn to new ideas, happiness, and relationships. They're drawn to success.
Two of Cups
Duality; two hearts or two minds coming together
Your child is drawn to having strong relationships with others. They are also courageous, loyal, and passionate.
Three of Cups
Dancing, friendship, merriment
Your child is drawn to activity and celebration. Scorpio children are known for their connection to Halloween.
Four of Cups
A young man sits under a tree and is contemplative.
A period of boredom and where nothing seems of interest. Your child may go through periods of inactivity where their emotions become distilled. They may need a moment to reset.
Five of Cups
Three cups are knocked to their side; two cups still stand.
Your child will have to confront disappointment or loss, and you'll need to direct them toward still appreciating what they do have and the opportunities still before them.
Six of Cups
Two youths play in a garden surrounded by six cups.
Your child will hold onto memories and nostalgia.
Seven of Cups
A youth sees seven cups in the clouds with different fortunes and misfortunes.
Your child will encounter many different kinds of choices and must take the time to understand them. Your child has the power to take control of their emotions with the right guide.
Eight of Cups
Eight cups arranged in a row. A figure leaves them behind.
Sometimes we have to go on journeys into the unknown. Your child will grow by going after new and unknown things. They can't always stay with what they know.
Nine of Cups
A well-fed, satisfied person sits with nine cups behind him.
Your child has the power to make their wishes come true. They should be careful about what they wish to happen.
Ten of Cups
A husband and wife join arms. A rainbow is over their house.
Your child is definitely attuned to its family. Scorpios are some of the biggest relationship-seekers. Scorpio desires to be in a passionate relationship with a strong family.
Page of Cups
A youth holds a cup, and a fish pokes out of it.
Your child has insight and intuition. They would do well to study art, poetry, and music.
Knight of Cups
A knight offers a cup.
Sensitive, seeking, romantic, chivalrous
Queen of Cups
A woman sits on a throne.
She is intuitive and gives good advice.
King of Cups
A king holding a scepter floats on water.
Someone who is wise, tempered, balanced, and kind. This is the ultimate goal for Scorpio.
More Parenting Advice Based on Astrology
- How to Raise a Gemini Child
Gemini children are some of the most diverse kids to raise. You could have a genius, a funny kid, or a total chatterbox on your hands! These kiddos are some of the most lighthearted to parent, but it can be hard to know how to point them in the right
- How to Raise an Aquarius Child
Aquarius can be a bright-eyed and creative soul. Your child is open-minded, empathetic, caring, sweet . . . and kind of odd. There is even more you can learn about them by looking at the sun sign and element in their astrological profile.
- Things to Consider When Raising a Taurus Child
Taurus children have a great deal of wonder about the world. They love nature and family is important to them. They also thrive in a home that is structured and organized.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 31, 2020:
Scorpio children can be tough, but they also make for fantastic adult children who are pretty devoted.
Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on December 31, 2020:
My poor parents! :) But because I'm on the cusp, I think it tempered the most extreme of the traits. Thanks for the insight!