Dark Side of Taurus: Insensitive, Lazy, Gluttonous, Boring

Filmmaking genius and Oscar winner Orson Welles, a Taurus, became an obese alcoholic and shill for cheap wine.
Filmmaking genius and Oscar winner Orson Welles, a Taurus, became an obese alcoholic and shill for cheap wine.

"Selfish? Lazy? A Glutton? Moi?"

After work, Taurus comes home and grunts like a caveman, uses the bathroom and flops in front of the TV. Or Taurus returns from the mall loaded with jewelry, shoes and handbags (they love fine leather; it's cowhide, and you know Taurus is the bull). She even bought some new toys for the cat. But sure as you're born, she brought nothing for you. Tell this negative Taurus that he or she is insensitive, and they will be shocked and say, "Insensitive to what?"

This was their life before you met and it will be their life until they die. A partner of a negative Taurus is not allowed to ask for anything, only allowed to pick up after Taurus or pick up the tab. Negative Taurus lives on autopilot, travels in a rut, and takes you for granted the moment you commit.

The rut they are in, and the demands they make, come from their anxiety about safety. Beneath the surface they seethe with fear. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld (April 29) starred in a show "about nothing" that really was all about fear. Negative Taureans fear the delicate or subtle, so they stick with basics: Mom and Dad. Food and shelter. Sex and money. Saved or damned. After a very romantic beginning, relationships are as simple as this: We do what Taurus wants. Like it or lump it.

Negative Taureans are the zodiac's championship pessimists and bores. They believe the world is going to hell in a handbasket, voting is useless, a positive attitude is foolish, and the best part of life is over. Intimate talk means cataloging for you their neck pains, sports injuries, bulges, scars, and hemorrhoids. They do this because they're perfectionists and know down to the millimeter how far they are from being physically ideal. For friends and mates they suggest breast enlargement, a penile implant, Lasik eye surgery, or diets (Taureans prefer diets high in beer, meat, and cheese and they can stay fat while the partner must be slim). Bettering themselves educationally or spiritually must have a material payoff. "Better" to them really means longer hours at the job or a harder workout. Like Sagittarians, Taureans have intense relationships with diets and sports.

Positive Taurus can have a stellar career, but negative Taurus usually settles for a steady income. TV watching or shopping (they like flea markets) represses their painful regret over their wasted ambitions. Frustrated Taureans often overeat or turn to drink like Orson Welles (May 6). They dwell on the good old days, preferring not to think about the future, except for their investments. True Taurean dolts invest in Beanie Babies or collect Franklin Mint limited editions or bottlecaps or Barbies, and will show and describe each one in detail until you scream for mercy. I knew a Taurus who in youth hoped to become a veterinarian or a musician. (Many Taureans have true musical talent.) At 50 he was a collector of books of Truly Tasteless Jokes.

Anyone engaged for eight or 14 years is probably a Taurus. They usually marry only once. After negative Taureans buy a home they don't want people in it, because it is either too messy or too clean. Certain rooms, closets or drawers will be off limits. Taurus has his own comfy chair but offers you a beanbag or a straight-backed chair from his dining set.

Lovemaking with a Taurus can be lengthy and sensual, and they are awesome booty calls, but they like the same things over and over and are alarmed or exasperated if a partner wants variety. They are masters of unfunny jokes or remarks. Some Taurus males talk almost exclusively in jokes and jibes. Bathroom humor is a specialty, and they talk about excretion and turds more than most. My closest Taurus friend jokingly calls everybody "Poopypants."

Taureans can spend (or waste) a lot of life trying to look hot, like Tori Spelling (May 16). They're ruled by the planet Venus, symbolized by a mirror, and some truly hot Taureans are known worldwide: Jessica Alba (April 28), Penelope Cruz (April 28), and George Clooney (May 6), for example. Aging Taurus men pump iron to exaggerate pecs and biceps and the women spend hours and a fortune on makeup, nails and hair. Great as he might look, a negative male Taurus taken to a party will sit down and not move or speak all evening. He simply has no social skills and nothing to say. Dates soon realize their Taurus cutie pie is a social embarrassment.

Have a negative Taurus boss? A huge percentage of world dictators are Taureans. They include Saddam Hussein (April 28), Hirohito (April 29) and Pol Pot (May 19). Barging in, the Taurus boss gives orders and thunders, "It isn't a choice." Still, they are cowardly; on the big issues they will leave you dangling, and they let their own bosses overwork them.

Negative Taurus Avatars: John Wilkes Booth (May 10), Sid Vicious (May 10), Louis Farrakhan (May 11), Jim Jones (May 13).

Sylvia Sky reviews horoscopes and psychic sites for quality and accuracy, and writes about occult matters. Copyright 2012 by Sylvia Sky. Sylvia does not select nor endorse the ads appearing on her pages.

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Comments 39 comments

Shawn May Scott profile image

Shawn May Scott 4 years ago

This Hub is hurtful to people born under this sign. You should take it down. What makes you think you can be like this?

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 4 years ago from USA Author

This hub is about negative Taurean traits. It will not describe you unless you have enemies!

John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I recently wrote a hub about astrology...will probably never write another one again, because, I don't know enough about the subject. All said, I made reference to Taurus as being very hardworking and no nonesense; I also make references to Virgo and Capricorn, the other two Earth signs.

Interesting hub - voted as such


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee

All signs have their negative and positive types so I would certainly not ask anyone to take a piece down about my sign if it was written with such humorous style as this one. And while almost every Taurus person I know happens to be very positive, I enjoyed reading this!

EuroCafeAuLait profile image

EuroCafeAuLait 4 years ago from Croatia, Europe

I liked it too, and found it accurate! Thanks for a refreshing perspective!

PWalker281 4 years ago

Oh no, I share a birthday with Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini?!? But then, the new age singer, Enya, was born on May 17, too, so I think I'll identify with her :-).

I found the hub humorous, but also recognized some of the negative traits in myself (no, I'm not telling!), perhaps not to the degree they are described here, but recognize them? I did!

Voted up, funny, and interesting.

i agree with first commentor 4 years ago

you don't realize how much hurt people get when you post these. maybe we are the sensitive ones and need to be tougher. but it's making fun of specific people's traits just because they were born under a certain sun sign. no one is perfect. no one. we all know this.

the truth of the matter is, everyone who comes into this world has an enemy. even the most loved has an enemy.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 4 years ago from USA Author

I am sorry if you are seriously hurt by what is intended to be an entertaining list of a sign's "worst traits". Most readers understand that. No matter what sign, we have all been on occasion insensitive, gluttonous, boring, and lazy; most people understand that also. I don't agree that all people have enemies. But all people can make enemies.

i agree with first commentor 4 years ago

you're right, sylvia, we've all been in those bad traits.

when i said even the most loved has an enemy, like Jesus Christ even has enemies. I know it's only a religious following but even the most loved like mother theresa most likely had enemies.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 4 years ago from USA Author

I should mention also that negative Taureans lack a sense of humor.

Zia 4 years ago

What a SENSE of HUMOR you got up there.

matt 3 years ago

Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was born September 22nd 1902, not in May.

Blah blah 2 years ago

Some things were accurate, some things were inaccurate.

Mahogany 23 months ago

Describes my Taurus boyfriend 95%. Of course there are positives, but.....oh well

Kate 23 months ago

Hurtful but true.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 23 months ago from USA Author

Kate, I hope the article entertains you more than hurts you. Each sign has its dark side.

Wentra profile image

Wentra 22 months ago from USA

Ouch. I was born on May 8. I do have to fight the urge to fall into a slump at times..... But, I try to be positive and open to change for the most part. Well, I guess it is a good lesson on how not to be a bad Taurus. I have found my stubbornness to be useful in some ways.

Makeba 22 months ago

You Mentioned Louis Farrakhan, who is a light and a tourch for all of humanity but you failed to mention Adolf Hitler. Compare their lifes work and you will see that they are opposite. Maybe you chose not to mention Adolf Hitler because you are his kind of people or a hater of Muslims or you are an Islam basher.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 22 months ago from USA Author

I "chose not to mention Adolf Hitler" because I "am his kind of people or a hater of Muslims or" I "am an Islam basher"? I think you need therapy and a semester-long course in logic and reasoning.

Paul 21 months ago

Hahaha dude anybody that gets on here cryin about this sign that sign boo freakin hoo dude. If u got ur tinder feelings hurt by a Taurus don't bash all taurus's cause u can't handle being an adult, deal w it. Zodiac signs r ridiculous anyway maybe 1/16 of this crap is true n could be said about anybody w any sign. Crybaby

ASH425 20 months ago

May I ask what sign you are Sylvia? I happen to be an Aries/Taurus cusp. While some of this is true it definitely is a humorous exaggeration on one invididuals perspective. I can be stubborn and lazy yes. I am a very spiritual and intuitive person however. I try to love everyone and everything and am not necessarily a pessimist. More so a realist. I may be very calm and laid back but I don't think that's a synonym for boring. Also I always see Tautus being related with overeating. However I know kany Tauruses to be fit and or thin. I think the gluttony aspect of this sign more so is a metaphor for consumption of not just food. But anything that satisfies. "Feels good." I prefer the term over indulgent to gluttonous. Lol... Anyway all in all nice job. Still am curious what your sign is and if you'll write a similar article about the dark sides of it.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 20 months ago from USA Author

I'm an Aquarius and yes, I wrote an Aquarius dark side article. I'm a Scorpio rising and Scorpio moon and yes, there's a Scorpio dark side article.

Ilsa 19 months ago

I love your articles, maybe its that wicked aquarius sense of humor that doesn't always translate to everyone. I am an aquarius with an aries moon (like Christian bale in american psycho, yay) and a Taurus Mars and can find some of my worst traits in all of their dark descriptions. Keep it up! Looking forward to a dark version of Leo and Capricorn. :) much love and appreciation/ L

Not afraid of the dark 15 months ago

I am currently with a tarus man and I am an Aries. This is so on point. We were best friends for 11 years before we became intimate and a couple. Once I committed hes been taking me for granted and on top of that he had a drinking problem. I feel helpless because we're so opposite,but if he was a positive Taurus we would balance each other .What I lack he has and vice versa. What would you suggest Sylvia?

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 14 months ago from USA Author

If this man takes you for granted and has developed a drinking problem, neither condition can be reversed by any of your best efforts. I suggest leaving him, telling him briefly and lovingly why you must leave and how you deserve better, ignoring any pleas and outbursts, and communicating no more. I know it hurts badly to leave a relationship you have invested so much in, but if your life together is painful to you and he doesn't care and is unappreciative and contributing nothing to the furthering of the relationship, it is selling yourself short to settle for that. There is someone else out there who can balance you. Taurus might be glad to be left alone so he can continue his self-destructive ways.

shb 13 months ago

So much spot on....hahaha..your a genious sylvia..courtesy to the Aquarios-scorpio combination.A GOD giving insight.

Also their another notorios negative trait is not to bear criticism untill it'd be cleverly done and lacking a tendency to amend their attitudes.

And,they have their own definations and rules usualy contrary to those society hold in general.

They are sweet as long as you don't show them the mirror.they take it the as red cloth and then.....BULLING.

By the way,Taurus women are beautiful.

shb 13 months ago

@ Sylvia Sky.i am in love with a taurian girl.what are the basic traits they like in men.And what is the way to her heart ?.I am cancer male.i am not too much emotional.

would you please tell me something about that ?.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 13 months ago from USA Author

shb, there is a great deal of information of the type you want available on the Internet if you google "Taurus female" or "Taurus female Cancer male."

Sheryl 11 months ago

Absolutely brilliant!! Of all the star sign traits, this by far is the most accurate.. Scarily in fact!! Thank you .. Dated a Taurus guy and he was a negative Taurus.. Everytime he walked in the door he moaned about his neck, wrists, teeth falling out, bad back.. He was like an old man in a young mans body!! He had no life time goals lol honestly 33 years old, lived at home with his mum, no car, no phone, no bills and hardly ever went to work, constantly called in sick and went on a 3 day bender with no contact!! Absolute joke of a man (boy) positive side......err very loving, and if you like that sort of thing, he would spend every minute with you, slouched on the sofa, listening to reggae 24/7.. Obsessed with reggae to the point of creepiness. i really have been put off by Taurus men after this mess of a boy!! Boring, can't take a joke and point blank dumb as fook! Couldn't change the channel on a tv!! But anyway I hope a nice positive Taurus is nothing like him, otherwise I'm never dating one again lol

Bag 8 months ago

Khomeini was born in September according to every encyclopedia out there. Please correct this article!

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 8 months ago from USA Author

I did. Now he's a Libra: 24 September 1902.

Jean 4 months ago

I personally thought this article was actually funny and in some ways spot on. I'm a Taurus with Gemini moon & Taurus rising, and I do got to say that I can relate. For being an earth sign I think we can be a little sensitive, or maybe that's just a few of us depending the on our Venus and Mars signs which mine are in Cancer. Sensitive enough should I say? Yes, but in different ways. My Gemini moon sure balances me out not to be, which causes a headache. As you can tell most of the taureans here took this article by heart haha. They also have to realized that we all are born with a unique birth chart..and need to understand that that's how others see us because of our sun sign. They don't understand that our sun sign is what represents us in the outer than the inside of us. I can be a total Taurus from the outside but from the inside i have feelings of A Gemini. Maybe because of my moon in Gemini I found this article quite interesting and took it as a positive instead of a negative. I'm mostly to be honest because of my mercury in Aries, in that note I can take a joke because I can to be brutally honest myself. Taurus is like a toddler...we are like feed me, buy me things and talk about themselves most of the time...can you tell? Sounds like a Leo? Not fully like one though. ohh and God forbid you make a Taurus angry, it's like a child throwing a tantrum once fed up there is no going back. I have a Taurus boss and it amazes me how people are afraid of her but have respect for her at the same time...because they do get to see her soft side. We are all about looks, at least I am...I like to feel and look good. There is no problem there. Anywho we are After all we are toddlers of the zodiac signs, what can we say

Crystal 2 months ago

So people born under taurus are scum? You basically described everyones worse human.

Seem's like no one will ever love me!

Gonna go Ryan Ross this Sh*t!

It's not like this is just a bunch of bs generalizing millions of people on the day they were born, too which they have no power.



SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 2 months ago from USA Author

Crystal, this article was solely about Taureans' negative traits. They have positive traits, just like every other sign. Taureans' positive traits include sexy, classy, determined, and musical.

TMarg0571 2 months ago

My God, lady, you are seriously hilarious. Two of your three of your Taurus notable you mentioned is a freaking MURDERER. So I'm curious, why didn't you mention Hitler. He was a Taurus; of course he was a self-loathing repressed homosexual and narcissistic meth-head Taurus. Sounds like you had a psychotic Taurus in your life who shat upon it generously...Oops, showing my horns again...bathroom humor! Yes, I am a Taurus, how'd you guess. So unfair and utterly ridiculous. I can take plenty of criticism. And there are plenty of legitimate ones, such as laziness and a tendency to take for granted. But, good grief, you told one of your readers that had a question for you above (Aries woman in love with Taurus male) that the Taurus's drinking problem and taking his partner for granted cannot be reversed by ANY of the person's best efforts. I'm sorry...AA???? How 'bout trial separation to see how he likes it? How about actual therapy for God's sake. Lady, I think you are a paranoid and crazy as hell. What is YOUR sign.

SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 2 months ago from USA Author

My view is that trying to change people is never a good idea because people (of all signs) change their bad habits only if they want to.

A bull!!! 7 weeks ago

Hahaha this is very funny, i am on the positive side of Taurus but the truth is if you are not worth for a Taurus he won't give you anything, his stubborness will make him hard to leave so he will make you leave him. Taurus doesn't like chains is a more of a free spirited sign, when you pull ,he pushes. We are very good but if you are not then that means trouble, when we can't cope with things we will wait for them to be done. Taurus males are very alluring if you are pacient he can be a super male. If he feel betrayed just a little bit his rage will struck you, but is not his fault? Is it. When something is bad they will stand there holding until you go back to were you belong, males can cook, clean and be your slave if he thinks you deserve that. And it's a very hardworking sign, the materialistic part is actually not about money is about when something belongs to them is just for them, they can value even worthless things, for them even a bottle can be priceless. The sime the better, more in to saving than other thing, they don't have gluttony they just like taste and good quality food. If they like something they could eat the same thing over and over just for the flavor. Homemade foods are Taurus favorite, a sad Taurus is very sensitive, we take everything to heart. Sexual desires are more his weak spot than gluttony, Taurus find hard to share his feelings so is very locked on themselves but if they fall for you that means you are ours. Not all Taurus are alcoholism the ones that do are dragging a major inner pain.

Samuel 3 weeks ago

WOW! i'm a taurean and this scares me a little bit, i'm 21 and I fear ending up like this, I know I have no social skill but I can listen to my friend for hours, i'm known to be a gr8 listener. I've been very selfish in the past and I learned to give and I truly want my lover to be happy, thank you very mutch for this article, knowing what I could become if I keep being negative really push me toward being positive. Thank you keep up the good work, thank you. Sorry for my bad english

Micchon 3 weeks ago

You keep saying your post is supposed to be 'entertaining,' but you sound like you have deep hate towards Taureans. Maybe you should change the way you write so people would take it as 'entertainment,' not a passive-aggressive article about Taurus people.

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