Dark Side of Pisces: Lustful, Cheap, Smug, Secretive
What's Wrong With This Picture?
The Dark Side of Pisces, the Plaster Saint
The negative Pisces is a plaster saint. While outwardly thoughtful, shy, righteous, and sweet, they plot to undermine people and institutions, hiding (barely) their lust for sex and money. This lust is so overwhelming they feel they must deny having a dark side, saying, "What you see is what you get." That isn't likely.
Remember that the symbol for Pisces is two fish swimming in opposite directions. Negative Pisceans might look like ordinary people, maybe in need of a makeover. In fact they are manipulators and misers. Negative Piscean and self-styled "Christian" Josh Duggar (March 3), sexual abuser and adulterer, is a prime example. Fortunately, most Pisceans who are that negative get caught.
Typically mild-mannered, Piscean friends can be tiresome because they can't decide what movie to see or where to eat. They are often strict about food (but not drink!). They might say Lord Krishna doesn't want them to eat onions and garlic. At a diner that doesn't fit their dietary rules, they order nothing and watch you eat, or sneak tidbits from your plate. That is how they stay smug about their saintly self-denial. I have seen a Pisces open and eat half a box of sweets and—instead of maybe sharing them—close the box and save the other half for later. Now that is self-discipline!
Money Is Piscean and So Are High-Interest Loans
The Cash and the Stash
The saved and guarded candy reveals yet another side of negative Pisces: they are tight, tight, tight! They cringe even when you spend your own money! They don't mind at all degrading themselves for cash. Money is Piscean: It swims into and out of our lives and its value is symbolic. Pisceans want to wade into fountains to bag the pennies others have wished on, then loan the money out, with interest; negative Pisceans are shameless enough to actually do it.
Poor-mouth Pisceans express their envy of moneyed people by turning it into contempt for the rich. On dates, which will be cheap, free or Dutch, they talk about being into spirituality, the library, or people-watching: things you will notice do not cost them any money. Some cut every coupon and enter every sweepstakes. You will tire of hearing them say that their dusty old junk is collectible and valuable. Pisceans with no money will romanticize poverty or make a virtue of bumhood, like On the Road author Jack Kerouac (March 12). Musician Kurt Cobain (Feb. 20) and his band turned "grunge" into a culture.
Frequently a Piscean home is ankle-deep in cats, hamsters, potpourri or other smelly things and it will be no fishbowl: It's often dark, to hide Pisces' escapist addictions and hidden stashes. Serial killer John Wayne Gacy (March 17) stashed 27 bodies under his house. Many Pisceans prefer animal company to human company because animals are uncritical. Negative Pisceans feel attacked when questioned or corrected. Pisces, remember, does no wrong! They idealize babies and small children, yet think it is right to terrify kids with stories about Hiroshima or the end of the world according to the Book of Revelation. As the 12th and last sign of the zodiac they are fascinated by annihilation. Wondering if your Pisces is faithful? If you have to ask, the answer is no!
Pisceans find their paths early in life or probably not at all. Mid-life Pisceans might appear clueless because grooming, exercising or updating their look is too much of a commitment, but in youth Pisceans are smart and creative, idealistic, eyes sparkling. Einstein was a Pisces (March 14). Later they have trouble managing themselves. The perpetual student spending twenty years on his dissertation is probably a Pisces, as is the sad married martyr keeping a spreadsheet of a spouse's adulteries.
Negative Pisces Avatars
Mitch McConnell (Feb. 20)
Aileen Wuornos, female serial killer (Feb. 29)
Charles Ponzi (March 3)
Ed McMahon (March 6)
Tammy Faye Bakker (March 7)
Darryl Strawberry (March 12)
The Land of Make-Believe
All Pisceans are good at make-believe. Mr. Fred Rogers, for 35 years a children's TV entertainer with his Land of Make-Believe, was a Pisces (March 20). Negative Pisceans merely act saintly and selfless, preach what they don't practice, deny what they did, pretend they didn't hear you, or do their makeup, like Tammy Faye Bakker (March 7). You'll find Pisceans in any group or profession that tries to make people believe something: acting, religion, public relations, fiction writers.
The talented ones need good tough managers. Nat King Cole (March 17), a respected jazz pianist, became a famous pop crooner only after his wife took over his management and image-making. He repaid her by moving in with another woman. With enough sex or money, or rehab, Pisces can arrange to stay on top despite age, looks, or awkwardness: for example, Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27), Liza Minnelli (March 12), and Lawrence Welk (March 11).
Pisceans, usually low on energy, easily "let themselves go" and tend to be fragile physically as well as emotionally. Older negative Pisceans are often weak or confined to home after indulging in lifelong bad habits, and these plastered saints assume that their spouses or families will gladly wait on them while the Fish goes belly up. It often turns out that the Pisces who always denounced sugar, drugs, smoke, porn, or hypocrisy is an enthusiastic consumer or practitioner of same.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2011 Sylvia Sky