Dark Side of Aquarius: Erratic, Self-Absorbed, Tactless, Superstitious
You'll Meet Very Few Aquarians—Thank God
It is not unusual for Aquarians to go to the workplace, ignore their job, and work on their novel or new invention. Co-workers will soon yearn to give Aquarius a beating or a boot out the door. Or like Sarah Palin (birthday Feb. 11), Aquarians will simply abandon the job. Aquarius hates the whole idea of working for others, and wants short hours or none. They work best when they create their own jobs, like Oprah Winfrey (Jan. 29) or Simpsons animator Matt Groening (Feb. 15). They are, by nature, allergic to what's normal, so if you are normal, you won't see them in person much. Aquarius is also the least common zodiac sign.
Many Aquarians start out with glittering and tremendous potential, like Princess Stephanie (Feb. 1) and Paris Hilton (Feb. 17). Declaring they "have to be themselves," negative Aquarians then make a string of poor choices and, in defending them, finally lose respect. Because of their faults, the people who once counted on Aquarians turn against them. When this happens, Aquarians believe it is because others are incapable of appreciating them as prophets and geniuses.
Aquarians are proud rule-breakers. This can be good: Aquarian Abraham Lincoln (Feb. 12) decided to free the slaves (in part so the men could join his army). Lesser Aquarians think ignoring rules and common sense makes them rebels and rogues. Idiot U.S. politician Sarah Palin (Feb. 11) titled her book "Going Rogue." If caught in a sticky wicket, like Paris Hilton with her sex tape, Aquarians will give a speech about the violation of their rights, making everyone laugh.
Money? A negative Aquarian's fondest dream is to live on somebody else's money. Don't leave one alone with your cash. They think they deserve at least a percentage for being your friend.
Aquarians and Relationships
A negative Aquarius runs from problems and denies making mistakes, except to a few very close friends and intimates. Those people have the rare privilege of seeing past Aquarius' self-absorption and stubbornness into their well-meaning hearts. Aquarians get extremely attached or even addicted to the few who can break through their shells and get close. The "addicted" Aquarian will dismantle his or her whole life and personality to keep the relationship going, lacking the nerve to break it off.
Although their weird ways can be endearing, two Aquarian traits alienate lovers: First, they don't know what they want, but they always want what they don't have. This is the zodiac sign that will dump you to go back to their ex. Second, they overthink, analyzing a lover's every word and action, worrying, consulting friends and psychics and horoscopes; everything but asking outright, "Where is this relationship going? Is it working for you?" If an Aquarius can do that, it is a sign of maturity. It rarely happens.
Aquarians are famously scared of relationships and negative ones frighten off others by pointing out everyone's mistakes and imperfections. If you have the right kind of ringtone or pass their other little tests they'll condescend to sex, but slink away within the hour saying they have to feed pets or prepare for tomorrow. If you're engaged or married (they think of it as "trapped for life" or "meal ticket for life"), he or she will want a dwelling with separate bedrooms, bathrooms, hobby rooms, and offices. They have no idea how deeply they're insulting you.
Aquarius gets used to seeing angry people, from parents on up, so he or she is always on the defensive and believes any criticism is unfair. Unless he or she has learned the hard way, the Aquarian has no clue that other people shouldn't be interrupted and that they have feelings. Even the most pathetic Aquarius or Aquarius Moon will bluntly tell you what your problem is and how to fix it. The scary thing is that they are often right. Astrologically at least, they are the Bringers of Knowledge to Mankind. For Aquarians, especially those on the borderline of being negative Aquarians, the best bet in life is not love or career but service.
Negative Aquarius Avatars: Football coach/sex criminal Jerry Sandusky (Jan. 26), Dick Cheney (Jan. 30), Rick James (Feb. 1), Kim Jong Il (Feb. 16), Paris Hilton (Feb. 17), Lee Boyd Malvo, Beltway sniper (Feb. 18).
© 2011 SylviaSky