Andrea has a background in Myers-Briggs and Western astrology. She mostly writes about relationships.
The Many Struggles of the Scorpio
Scorpio is one of the most misunderstood signs. People often fear those who are born under this sign because of all the devilish imagery associated with it. This sign is magical, cunning, and diverse. Not everyone can handle the scorpion due to its advanced understanding of emotions.
Scorpio is ruled by the warring planet of Mars, which means this sign can tend to be aggressive. As a water sign, however, Scorpio's aggression can be balanced out by its access to the nourishing powers of water. Scorpios are born from October 23 to November 21. They come into the world when the veil between our reality and the afterlife is at its thinnest. As a result, Scorpio is drawn to death and the curiosities most people wouldn't dare consider.
Scorpio is obviously a complex sign, and the following list details the struggles most Scorpios have at some point or another. If you are a Scorpio, this list is intended to help you cultivate more awareness about yourself and to identify areas in your life where you could improve. If you have someone in your life who is a Scorpio, this list is intended to help you better understand them and how they might operate in relationships.
30 Struggles Scorpios Face
1. They Are Prone to Brooding
When I think of a Scorpio, one of the first words that pops into my mind is "brooding." It means to show deep unhappiness of thought or to appear darkly menacing. For hours at a time, Scorpios will sit and fester in their emotions and thoughts. This means that a Scorpio can hold a great deal of energy inward because they're not sure where to let out all their feelings and frustrations. This causes Scorpio to have way too much pent up energy—and that energy can be sharply negative.
As a fixed sign, Scorpio often suffers from its stubborn tendencies. Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius are all set in their ways. They can be decisive, particular, demanding, and fixated on their plans. As a Scorpio, you can get very focused on your emotions. You can also have such high standards about what you want, that you may miss out on good things around you.
3. Explosive Anger
Scorpio lives on the dark side. They have powerful streams of anger running through them and can be completely despondent about the ways society runs. As a Scorpio, you may feel unloved and ready for battle. When channeling your inner scorpion, you have the capacity to do significant damage. For example, a Scorpio who hasn't learned self-control could punch holes in walls, have bouts of road rage, randomly drop calls, or scream at people.
4. They Often Feel Misunderstood
Scorpios often live their lives feeling misunderstood. They often prefer Disney villains over Disney princesses and Halloween over Christmas. They watch scary movies, not Hallmark ones. They want to know how things work, and they embrace the weird and creepy. Because of these unique preferences, people sometimes don't give Scorpios a chance and will miss the opportunity to see the Scorpio for their good graces, for their excellence, or their clever ideas. Scorpios are monstrously creative, but the world doesn't always appreciate that.
5. They Can Be Outcasts
Because people sometimes make up their opinions about Scorpio before getting to know them, Scorpios can get pushed away or marginalized. People don't always want to associate with the Scorpio. As a result, the student who eats lunch by themselves and the worker with an isolated office are experiences that could be common for a Scorpio. As a Scorpio, you might not always feel like you belong. Know that this could partly be due to others making assumptions before getting to know you.
6. Dark Sense of Humor
Scorpios have warped senses of humor. They can say really dirty things, are very sarcastic, and they often use their humor as a cover to protect themselves. As a Scorpio, you may at times feel that your dark humor is the bane of your existence as it won't always be appreciated.
7. Unappreciated by Others
Scorpio cares way more than they let people know. When they love someone, they love them totally. They often do the hard work other people refuse to do. They sacrifice for others, but there isn't always a return for that. Sometimes their creative displays go unnoticed. As a Scorpio, it might feel at times as though you don't always get the attention you deserve.
8. Poor Performance at School
Scorpio is smart, but not always book smart. I can think of a handful of Scorpios I know that weren't straight A students—not even close. They struggled to focus in class, they had other interests that were more important to them, or they just couldn't find the energy to care. They did okay in school, but it wasn't a breeze for them. They felt like there were bullies everywhere, though sometimes they themselves were the bullies.
9. Love of the Devil
Scorpio is the one most likely to play the devil's advocate. They don't see the appeal of heaven, angels, holiness, and the like. Scorpio wants to advocate for the rebellious path and is not afraid to rock the boat. They want to be independent and to have knowledge and free-will.
As a result, a Scorpio believes in a little bit of destruction. You might at times have the mindset that, in order to create, you must destroy. Scorpios are the ones to open themselves to the darker side of things—sometimes simply out of boredom.
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10. High Demand for Loyalty
Scorpios might stray, but they demand that you stay 100% loyal to them. Scorpio is like Hades, and Hades is looking for the perfect Persephone to take with them to the underworld. As a Scorpio, you might be a demanding partner whether you realize it or not. Scorpios have a few common tendencies in relationships, including:
- The Scorpio wants to capture a princess or prince.
- They want their partner to dedicate huge slots of time for them.
- They have a high preference for one-on-one time.
- They really want to know someone and do so privately.
These Scorpio tendencies can sometimes create conflict in relationships. It's good for Scorpios to be aware that sometimes their intense needs within relationships can result in their partner losing time for other important things like their career, hanging out with their kids, or even just being alone.
Never cross a Scorpio. The scorpion will hold a grudge forever. As someone who is a little bit of the devil, they don't know how to forgive. This is someone who—if they decide to cut you out of their lives—they'll do so permanently. Scorpio will not put up with someone who has messed with their life in one fashion or another. For example, Scorpio will not put up with those who betray them, who cheat on them, who mock them, or who belittle them. You've been warned.
12. Love for the Wrong People
Scorpios are the most likely ones to send me an email about how they're dating someone who is a downright disaster. I don't know how Scorpio does it, but they often manage to find some terribly mismatched partners. I think Scorpio is drawn to these souls because they see a little bit of themselves in them. For those of you who are Scorpios: Don't lower your expectations to the point of dating someone who is really not worth your time. You shouldn't date someone who isn't functioning well in the real world and expect that you can somehow change them with magic.
13. Trouble Speaking Their Mind
Scorpio has a lot on their mind. Sometimes they fall in love with someone but never tell them—they're bad about unrequited love. Or sometimes they'll have beautiful ideas, but they don't trust that those ideas will be respected by others.
Scorpios keep to themselves out of an abundance of caution. They'll let things fester in and around them. Often they do see things correctly, but they're just not sure how to communicate their point of view to others.
Scorpio can get so preoccupied with something that it's all they can really see or understand. For example, they can get overwhelmed by their desires or by certain aesthetics. They can also get very attached to certain people and want to know everything about them.
15. Attention Issues
Scorpios struggle to pay attention. They may have been diagnosed with ADHD as children. Our society hasn't given them the right space to allow them to brood and fester through their emotions. They're told to block who they are by more quickly processing and working through thoughts.
As a Scorpio, you might have different needs than what society proscribes, which means it can be difficult to get the emotional nourishment you need. A Scorpio often needs to be creative and be free to go whatever direction you choose.
All water elements have to be careful about depression, but particularly Scorpio. The fixed element of this sign can drive a Scorpio down to the lowest emotions, which can cause them to stop paying attention to anything else around them. This can lead to memory problems, brain fog, and misconceptions galore.
Many of Scorpio's needs are not met in this world, and this can be very hard for those born under this sign. For example, they actually feel better when they're allowed to watch scary movies, when they celebrate Halloween or Samhain, or when they learn about ghosts and ghouls.
Scorpios can be cold. They'll suddenly leave without notice. They may one day decide to abandon the business they helped create. They may ice out their friends and family. They're worried that people will abandon them, so they turn the tables and abandon them instead.
As a Scorpio, you are a survivor and can handle living as a loner or hermit. However, you likely do want to have a partner eventually—someone who is amazing and makes life feel like it is worth living.
Scorpios have a dirty sense of humor, they like bugs and creepy crawling things, and they talk about inappropriate things. They may look sharp and clean, but their heads are in the gutter. They like innuendos. They like seeing how warped, disgusting, and out there things can get. They'll venture pretty far into something that's terrible and ill-advised.
19. Overly Serious
Scorpio is a serious sign. You likely want to focus on success and/or a mature relationship. This means you may have a hard time handling things that are more bright, whimsical, merry, flashy, and spring-like. Scorpio often despises youth and will spend time focusing on building a strong retirement fund or creating a home that fits their more serious tone—perhaps some stone gargoyles and sharp-edge fencing.
20. Commitment Issues
Just as Scorpio can get involved with the the completely wrong person, they can also take forever to make a serious commitment. They'll date their partner for decades before proposing. They'll keep things just the way they are if they're happy.
However, they may then suddenly break things off. Scorpio has a tendency to cut loved ones out of their lives out of fear that their loved ones aren't as invested in the relationship as they are. As a Scorpio, you likely worry that commitment will ruin things. You've probably been hurt before and will try to prevent that pain by being the person to leave the relationship first.
When they experience a broken heart, Scorpio is the kind of person who will write a really scathing song about their ex-lover. This is the kind of person who would get published for their very pithy poetry about those who have wronged them.
Scorpios often seek some form of revenge on those who have hurt them because they have to release their turbulent emotions somewhere. Making art out of the downfall can be cathartic for them. Ultimately, if you don't like being a dark muse, avoid dating a Scorpio.
Sometimes Scorpio doesn't understand manners, and they therefore won't always follow social etiquette. For example, they may do something rather bold or curt. They do things their way and can be very up front and in your face. After all, this is someone who is ruled by the warring planet Mars—not the loving planet Venus. They can be aggressive, they can be mean, and they can definitely fail at social graces.
23. Lack of Self Control
As mentioned earlier, Scorpio has all the emotions of the universe. However, they often have little capacity to manage these emotions and they can struggle to exhibit restraint or to hold boundaries. The water element of this sign wants to merge with everything and spread. Scorpio can try to manage their strong emotions by indulging in food, in drugs, or in bad TV.
Scorpio isn't here to salvage what they can. They're not about peace-making, remedies, or answers to everything. When the ship starts to sink, they abandon it, or when things don't go their way, they're ready to explode. A Scorpio is more likely to cut and shred things than patch up something that wasn't quite working. Ultimately, this is because Scorpio thinks it is more humane to stop any form of suffering rather than wait for things to heal.
25. Highly Critical
Scorpio seeks justice and will make their voice heard, but sometimes they pick the wrong battles. For example, this is someone who will go straight to Google to rant about a restaurant if it messes up their food order. They are not above going after the little guy because they are an easy target.
When a Scorpio thinks their love for someone is pure and should be recognized, they may do things that seem inappropriate or misguided. For example, they might write a long letter to the person they love out of the blue. Or they might write really strange comments on social media and then be confused as to why someone blocked them. Maybe they stalk you. Maybe they read your mail or your diary. Maybe they write diary entries for you. Maybe they draw gross pictures and send them to you.
27. Fear of Failure
If you are a Scorpio, you likely have a tendency to ruminate over your mistakes. You're worried that you'll look foolish in front of others, and you ostracize yourself because you're afraid people won't like you.
This fear of failing can impact many facets of your life. It can result in you cutting off romances because you think people are getting too close. Or perhaps you don't apply yourself because you think it's hopeless and you don't believe in yourself. You might surround yourself with bad people or pick bad dates because you don't think you can do better.
28. Big Ego
Scorpios have some of the biggest egos—you're right up there with Aries and Leo. You want to be validated. You want to be praised. You demand these things and can therefore be a little scary because of your ego. Because you have high expectations for yourself, you can be very hard on yourself and it can be a struggle to know how to chill.
As a Scorpio, you can be possessive and demanding in a relationship or with friends. You don't like to share your things and you want to be the one making decisions. You also likely require inclusion into everything. You worry that if you give people space, they'll up and leave you.
Scorpios sometimes play games with loved ones and those around them to get what they want. If you're a Scorpio, you likely know how to pull the strings of people's emotions. You kind of think everyone around you is a puppet and don't always respect others. This means you sometimes use people for your own gain, for information, or for whatever purpose you decide. This sort of manipulative behavior can result in artificial relationships.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.